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Original poster

Educational holiday instead of the Yr 6 residential

131 replies

NicolaandLawrie · 08/10/2022 22:20

My DD really doesn’t want to go on the Yr 6 residential. It’s 5 days, 4 nights at an outward bound centre, kayaking, canoeing, abseiling - that kind of thing. Teachers have applied a bit of pressure saying she’ll regret it if she doesn’t go. Personally I don’t think she will. She is confident, self-assured, knows her own mind and is clear that she wouldn’t really enjoy the activities and therefore doesn’t want to go.

I see no reason to pressure her into going, it’s £450 I could spend on something better for her. Which brings me to my question. The alternative provision for non attendees is to join a Yr 5 class for the week. I think that would be a waste of her time and therefore I am planning to take her out and go away.

I would like to go somewhere she can learn/experience something which will make it a great use of the time out of school, she loves art, animals, wildlife, is pretty good at speaking French and also enjoys walking, swimming and being out in nature.

Any suggestions of where we could go please? It will be during mid July, just before they break up for the summer. Thanks 😊

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Janedoe82 · 08/10/2022 22:22

Is the whole point of these trips not about developing friendships/ being with peers.
i agree with teachers- she should go

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 08/10/2022 22:30

I wasn’t asking whether she should go or not. She’s got plenty of friends. Strong friendships. None of her mates mind whether she goes or not - they are all very supportive of one another.

OP posts:
Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 08/10/2022 22:31

Would go somewhere for a week with a range of activities that you really didn’t want to do, just because your friends were going? I wouldn’t.

OP posts:
Ship · 08/10/2022 22:32

£450 is a lot of money for her to not enjoy it. Could you go to euro camp in France?

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 08/10/2022 22:37

Will look into that, thanks

OP posts:
mistopheles · 08/10/2022 22:42

That is a long residential for year 6! A whole week!

I'd take her travelling round the UK by train and ferry. Proper exploring. Backpacks. She could research and help choose a route.

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 08/10/2022 23:04

mistopheles · 08/10/2022 22:42

That is a long residential for year 6! A whole week!

I'd take her travelling round the UK by train and ferry. Proper exploring. Backpacks. She could research and help choose a route.

I think so too! I seem to be in a minority though. I like this idea thanks, she is a big fan of history so could work some castle trips etc in, and she’s always wanted to see Bletchley Park.

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LondonWolf · 08/10/2022 23:07

I took dd to Center Parcs instead. It was brilliant. Some kids don't want to go and they shouldn't be forced to.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/10/2022 23:07

If you don't think she should go and she doesn't think she should go, I'm not sure what Mumsnet has to offer you!

23Elfie · 08/10/2022 23:19

My DD is currently in year 4 and not overly confident nor sporty and right now I don't think it'll be the kind of thing she'd enjoy at all. She's got 2 years so it might change but I've found myself wondering what we'd do if she really didn't want to go.
I love your idea of doing your own thing but trying to keep it educational at the same time. Euro camp is a great suggestion or perhaps you could go camping somewhere and get your DC to arrange an itinerary of places to visit?
Good on her (and you) for standing her ground and just saying nope not for me rather than being forced to go x

Bernadinetta · 08/10/2022 23:31

CandyLeBonBon · 08/10/2022 23:07

If you don't think she should go and she doesn't think she should go, I'm not sure what Mumsnet has to offer you!

She isn’t asking mumsnet whether she should go, she’s asking for ideas for alternative places to take her during the same week.

RyanYESorNO · 08/10/2022 23:32

As an ex-year 6 teacher, if she really doesn't want to go, then fair enough. If she hasn't got those strong friendship bonds that she wants to go for and she isn't interested in the activities then no point wasting money. And the school really won't care about you taking her out- they may well think it would be best for her to go on the residential, and they will likely have to be seen to be telling you that she needs to attend school for the week, but in reality it's an absolute pain accommodating them in year 5, so easier for the school if she's not there. Oh, and you may well be fined.

As for what to do- what does she enjoy? Go camping in the mountains, caravaning at the beach, horse riding centre, European capital break in an airbnb, camper van along the North Coast of Scotland. Whatever your budget allows and she will enjoy- there's education in every experience. The aims and outcomes of the year 6 residential trip be around teamwork, communication, pushing your comfort zones, resilience, independence, cooperation, etc, so it may be hard to replicate all of that. But anything you do will be better than sitting in the year 5 class bored to death!

SouthOfFrance · 08/10/2022 23:36

I don't think 4 nights 5 days is overly long for year 6, it's the norm among schools in our local area & the majority of children go on the trip.

However I get that its not something your child would get much benefit from & like your idea of an educational alternative, it sounds like you could do something really memorable.

I like the idea of a train trip round the UK. What's your budget? Could you go stay in a city and do lots of museums and history tours, eg Manchester, Liverpool, Bristol? Or even Paris if she is good at French.

Oooh... how about Paris, take in the art galleries there, then a trip to see Monet's garden/house?

ClocksGoingBackwards · 08/10/2022 23:39

4 nights is completely normal for a year 6 residential, I’ve never known one shorter than that.

I agree that she should go even if just for the experience of being away from home with her friends regardless of the activities, but she’s your child. I can’t think of much along the lines of animals, swimming and outdoors that could replicate an experience as memorable as a Y6 residential, but you could do a trip to the art museums in Paris.

YourUserNameMustBeAtLeast3Characters · 08/10/2022 23:46

One of the good things about those residential trips is that the children push themselves out of their comfort zones, cheer each other on, discover they are braver than they think etc. So is there a way for your trip to be not just educational but a positive challenge for her too? Maybe planning the itinerary and budget for a train trip, if it was France then speaking a little French in shops, learning a skill, depends on your DD.

(We had to go and collect our child from the year 6 residential so it’s definitely not right for every child!)

Marshmallowmountain · 08/10/2022 23:53

I think it’s fine for her not to go. I’m not sure why we force children to do these ‘character building’ activities. May work for some, for others it can actually do the opposite.

Not sure where in the UK you are…I’d suggest a week of museums etc. so if in/near London I’d do the aquarium, the zoo, natural history museum, science museum.

Everydayaschoolday · 09/10/2022 00:04

Bletchley Park is amazing! Also recommend:
The National Space Centre in Leicester
Eden Camp in North Yorkshire
Short break at Warwick Castle
The British museum/ Natural History museum/ Science museum
Housesteads and Chester’s Roman Forts at Hadrian’s Wall

HeddaGarbled · 09/10/2022 00:04

I’m with you. I was made to go on one of those outward bound things when I was a teenager and it was pretty close to being one of the worst weeks of my life. It was mostly frightening, wet, cold and humiliating. Developing teamwork is bollocks - no one wanted me on their team because I was so pathetically bad at everything. I suppose I did develop some resilience, in that I decided that I would never do something so horrendous ever again, and I haven’t 🙂

So, I can see that the nature, walking, swimming etc would be enjoyable. But if you’re aiming for educational, probably best to go down the art/museum route. I’ve been to Bletchley and it is interesting, though it’s run on a shoe-string so don’t expect much in the way of facilities. There’s not much else nearby but it’s doable from London or on the way, so you could maybe do London galleries and museums and do a day trip up to Bletchley.

IMO, the National Gallery is one of the top 3 art galleries in the world and anyone who is interested in art should go there whenever they can. (Louvre & Prado are the other 2, if you want to venture further).

DeadbeatYoda · 09/10/2022 00:07

One of the big points about the yr 6 residential is encouraging independence from their parents. For many of them it is the first time they have stayed away from their families for more than a night or so. For many children it is a taste of independence before they go to secondary, where they are expected to be a little less tied to the apron strings.
This may or may not apply to your situation but it is worth thinking about.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 09/10/2022 00:07

All the team building etc is a bit late at the end of year 6 when they have just a couple more days/ weeks with the class before they leave. My children all went on theirs and enjoyed it to varying degrees but then most of their classmates they haven't seen since they left school a few days/ weeks later.

Paris sounds great, or youth hostelling might be fun to get outdoors, you can usually get family rooms just for the two of you and they are in some fantastic locations.

LynetteScavo · 09/10/2022 06:24

I'd take her on a trip to Paris or another European city. I'd then also go on a separate holiday to enjoy some beach life over the summer holiday.

Are you going to pay the fine you'll get for not sending her into school?

Violettaa · 09/10/2022 06:38

’Developing teamwork and resilience’ is such bollocks. If she really hates that stuff, she’ll just be miserable and (rightly) resentful.

I’d vote for Barcelona over Paris - easily enough to keep you occupied, more fun rather than full on, and cheaper (I think).

Whatever you choose, I’d deff get her really involved in the planning and booking.

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 07:51

CandyLeBonBon · 08/10/2022 23:07

If you don't think she should go and she doesn't think she should go, I'm not sure what Mumsnet has to offer you!

i wasn’t asking for opinions as to whether she should go or not. That decision has been made - by my daughter, who knows her own mind and has good reasons for not wanting to go. Why would I not listen to her and respect her decision?

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HeidiWhole · 09/10/2022 07:56

I agree, why force her?
I'd second a city break, Amsterdam is close, small and has loads to do.

DeliberatelyObtuse · 09/10/2022 07:59

DeadbeatYoda · 09/10/2022 00:07

One of the big points about the yr 6 residential is encouraging independence from their parents. For many of them it is the first time they have stayed away from their families for more than a night or so. For many children it is a taste of independence before they go to secondary, where they are expected to be a little less tied to the apron strings.
This may or may not apply to your situation but it is worth thinking about.

I agree