Educational holiday instead of the Yr 6 residential

[NicolaandLawrie]

My DD really doesn’t want to go on the Yr 6 residential. It’s 5 days, 4 nights at an outward bound centre, kayaking, canoeing, abseiling - that kind of thing. Teachers have applied a bit of pressure saying she’ll regret it if she doesn’t go. Personally I don’t think she will. She is confident, self-assured, knows her own mind and is clear that she wouldn’t really enjoy the activities and therefore doesn’t want to go.

I see no reason to pressure her into going, it’s £450 I could spend on something better for her. Which brings me to my question. The alternative provision for non attendees is to join a Yr 5 class for the week. I think that would be a waste of her time and therefore I am planning to take her out and go away.

I would like to go somewhere she can learn/experience something which will make it a great use of the time out of school, she loves art, animals, wildlife, is pretty good at speaking French and also enjoys walking, swimming and being out in nature.

Any suggestions of where we could go please? It will be during mid July, just before they break up for the summer. Thanks 😊

Brilliant to hear this, thank you!

Many moons ago, when I was year 6, my residential was almost exactly as OP is planning!

I wouldn't have enjoyed or learnt anything from abseiling off cliffs although the staff might have thought twice about it the next year (I was v accident prone).

I did do DofE later but big difference...I chose to do it.

Good for you and your daughter.

We hired a narrowboat and visited Bletchley Park on our trip (it's walkable from Fenny Stratford lock). Easy 4 night boating trip from Northampton and back -- lovely scenery, lots of good pubs to eat in, lots of interesting industrial archery like a massive supposedly haunted tunnel. The kids enjoyed doing the locks.

Thanks, exactly - it’s very one size fits all. If there were different activities then that would have been different. I don’t know any adults who would choose to pay £450 to go away for a week to participate in activities they knew they wouldn’t enjoy at all - yet we’re supposed to force our children to?!

architecture thank you autocorrect

That’s a good idea, I’ll have a chat to her about that. We did think about Stratford.

My dd didn't want to go. I didn't want her in year 5 for a week so I took her on holiday.

She certainly wouldn't have coped at a residential at 10.

My DD would actually love this trip but children aren't all the same.

@Janedoe82

If she is going to hate those activities, she should absolutely not go.

I did the year 4 residential for two nights and hated it. Abseiling/canoeing/caving etc are not my thing. As a result I didn't do the year 6 one. And it put me off doing the yr 7 and yr 8 trips to France and Germany which I probably would have enjoyed because I was worried about being as desperately miserable as I was on that trip.

It hasn't prevented me being resilient or making friends. When I was 16, I did the residential to Italy and loved it. When I was 20, I flew to Kenya all on my own to volunteer with wildlife for four weeks. I have done trips like that regularly since then.

I agree with you that there's no need to send her on the residential if she doesn't want to do it. At our DC primary the residential that was kayaking, caving etc was in y5 and DC was very nervous but managed to go and absolutely loved it.

The y6 one was cancelled due to covid but would have been a week in London with days out at various national museums and going to a west end musical - you could do something like that, including getting her to do the navigation and journey planning as and educational exercise.

So the activities are really quite a small part of the y6 residential - which tbh is a rite of passage! It’s more about hanging with your friends for a WHOLE week, basically an extended sleepover! It’s about a first taste of real independence and strengthening the bond between the children. They’ll be talking about it for ages afterwards!
Are you totally certain there isn’t another reason your daughter doesn’t want to go? Only because if she hasn’t tried any of the activities on offer the I’m not sure how she can say she doesn’t like any of them. I’d always encourage mine to try everything on offer at least once if only to widen their
mindset! She might end up really enjoying some of them, particularly as if you say she is an outdoorsy type.

My DstepM's (very deprived) school used to take Y6 to Wales for their residential. Not Outward Bounds type stuff but tourist things.

They loved North Wales because there is so much to do. There are Castles, the World's smallest house in Conwy, little trains Inc up Snowdon, all levels of walks and something called Electric Mountain which might be shut. LLandudno is an old fashioned resort with pier and also a cable car up great Orme. There are a couple of National Trust places too.

We found similar variety in Northumberland too. Hadrian's Wall, Roman sites, boat trips, castles and beach walks.

If she really doesn't want to go of course you need to opt her out.

But it's still term time so if she doesn't go she should go to school. She might be missing the group activities for her year (which are wider development ones, not a jolly holiday) but she still needs to spend that week in school.

One hopes that they will find activities (such as being a "TA" to younger pupils) that will get her pushing her boundaries as much as her peers on the trip are likely to experience

No.They are about pushing yourself to do things outside your comfort zone

Not sure how being an unpaid help to younger kids would broaden her mindset! That’s hilarious.

Was in an identical situation years ago with one of my dc. School agreed to them not going but some of the other parents were very offish with me about it. We went to Devon and had a trip I'll never forget just hanging out, trying different sports, boating, beaches etc. He's an adult now, super social and up for anything. I'm very glad I didn't force him to go. For you what about a mini break to coast, or a city break such as Edinburgh or perhaps London?

Thanks for sharing, could I ask if there were any repercussions or regrets for either you or your daughter? That won’t affect our decision but just interested.

Take her out of school for that week. If she doesn’t want to go. I’m still annoyed that I went on residential like that. It didn’t make me have more friends. It’s forced ‘enjoyment’ and only leads onto those dreadful team building shitstorm exercises.

Bletchley and the National Space Centre are great. How about the Black Country Museum?

Op I didn't on my Year 6 residential - l was so adamant l didn't want to go and l never once regretted it.

Whereabouts in the UK are you? Roughly. Near an airport? Or near Eurostar?

I would go to southern Italy and do Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii etc.

I don’t think you should make her go but… has she ever been on a residential without you? Will she have the opportunity to do a residential without parents? I’m a teacher at A level and we have compulsory residentials and the students that cause a big headache are those who by 17 have never stayed anywhere without a parent. Some haven’t come and have had to get notes from psychiatrists to cover their absence.

before anyone questions the residential- the exam board set requirements for a minimum of 4 days in the field and due to the topic of student and our location we have to make it residential

Some of PGL type trips are not always about the activities but about giving students a safe experience away from parents and teaching them that they can start to be independent in unfamiliar situations.

I took 10 year old DD to Rome, just the two of us. We had an amazing time, such a great experience. If she has any interest in history I’d take her there.

I don't know where you are based but how about a week based around Ironbridge? There are a variety of museums, including a living museum, there is a pottery museum where I am sure you can do art activities plus it is a lovely part of the world. You are close to Birmingham if you fancy a city experience.
I think you can buy a ticket that covers all the museums so it is reasonable as well.

Sounds like a great plan. Rome would be amazing!

We persuaded DS to go on his Y4 Residential, he hated it.
Not homesick and joined in as requested but just hated every moment. His teachers agreed he shouldn’t have gone really. We agreed he didn’t have to do the Y6 one but Covid cancelled that one anyway.
We did make him go on his Y7 one as it was a school where he didn’t know anyone so felt it was important, again, he hated it.
They aren’t for everyone, I would have hated them too and you know your child best OP.
How about a riding holiday in Southern France or similar?

Oooh Italy is a good call. We’ve done a short break to Rome with the kids and they loved it.