Educational holiday instead of the Yr 6 residential

[NicolaandLawrie]

My DD really doesn’t want to go on the Yr 6 residential. It’s 5 days, 4 nights at an outward bound centre, kayaking, canoeing, abseiling - that kind of thing. Teachers have applied a bit of pressure saying she’ll regret it if she doesn’t go. Personally I don’t think she will. She is confident, self-assured, knows her own mind and is clear that she wouldn’t really enjoy the activities and therefore doesn’t want to go.

I see no reason to pressure her into going, it’s £450 I could spend on something better for her. Which brings me to my question. The alternative provision for non attendees is to join a Yr 5 class for the week. I think that would be a waste of her time and therefore I am planning to take her out and go away.

I would like to go somewhere she can learn/experience something which will make it a great use of the time out of school, she loves art, animals, wildlife, is pretty good at speaking French and also enjoys walking, swimming and being out in nature.

Any suggestions of where we could go please? It will be during mid July, just before they break up for the summer. Thanks 😊

DC’s school visit a city for a week for their residential and one of mine is likely to hate it with a passion…she just doesn’t do noise and lots of people, never has.

You’ve got me thinking about other options OP, thank you !

I didn’t love Barcelona when I took my children tbh, whereas Amsterdam I really enjoyed…another one worth considering.

I don't understand all the people on here saying that it is good for all children. I went on one year 5 and the only thing I brought away from it was an uncomfortable rash on my arms from being chucked in water and mud the whole time. Plus a hatred of organised "fun", although that was probably there already. Some great suggestions on here as an alternative.

Is it that she,would be homesick and upset ( okay to miss IMO) or that she doesn't fancy the activities in which she should suck it up

One hopes that they will find activities (such as being a "TA" to younger pupils) that will get her pushing her boundaries as much as her peers on the trip are likely to experience

They won't, I would bet a lot of money. It'll be worksheets or some other busy work. Which is fine, there will be an enormous amount of personal time and energy put into organising and staffing the trip. But I agree that it would be better for OP to conduct her own enrichment trip if her DD really hates the idea of the school one.

My primary school didn't do any "residential" trips and I have managed to emerge as a functioning adult. There will be opportunities for overnight trips at secondary school like language exchanges and history trips that might be more appealing to this child.

It's really not necessary for a 10 year old to go away on an overnight trip if they don't want to.

Why?

I went on one of those trips and absolutely hated it. I don't dwell on it now (20 years later) but I do have bad memories for various reasons. I think a train trip sounds great. Are there any other kids not going who she is friends with?

If you take her out of school for less than the full week you're more likely to avoid a fine. I would have hated something like this at 10, there's time when she goes to secondary to do a trip that will get her the experience of being away from home without having to cope with the outward bound activities as well.

Near an airport yes, we could get access to a fair few options so could get to a lot of European destinations very easily.

Why? Would you?

Not sure yet. Not convinced one of her closest friends will want to go, for same reasons as my DD. They wouldn’t enjoy the activities. If there was a broader range of things to do it would be different. I’d have liked to have seen problem solving type things, coding, escape rooms, more STEM. It’s all about the body boarding, canoeing etc. great if you like that. My DD doesn’t.

My dyspraxic non sporty daughter absolutely loved her year 6 activity based residential. She is quite outdoorsy though and liked cliff jumping etc.

I would go interrailing if you are determined she shouldnt go.

I'm with you and your dd op. The residential would be my personal hell.

I'd go with Paris. I used to live there and you will struggle to be bored there!

Otherwise maybe Valencia or Brussels?

Have fun!

I’ve never been camping and I know I’d hate it if I went. I know my own mind. My daughter knows her own mind. A WHOLE week with no break from the constant noise, other people, “organised fun” - all sounds hideous.

My daughter aged 2.5 at nursery worked out that if she misbehaved, she would be put in time out. Aka finally get some quiet time on her own. When she explained this to me and the staff, they agreed she could simply ask for some quiet time if she needed it. Which she does - often. People do. Not everyone enjoys being pushed together in this way.

I think there’s plenty of time for her to go on a residential when she’s older if she wants to. I don’t agree with compulsory residentials and wouldn’t be forced into sending my child away if she didn’t want to go. There’s a big difference between age 10 and age 17, I don’t think sending her now for her to have a miserable time would somehow prepare her effectively for being away 7 years later. Independence is often cited - she’s 10 years old and I’m not asking her to leave home just yet…

Thanks, will look into that. It will be her decision ultimately and I will respect whatever she decides.

Bletchley Park is near Woburn Safari Park, so you could do those on consecutive days - I love the idea of a mum and daughter backpacking trip, she'll treasure the memories, as will you of course. I hope you have a wonderful time.

She should definitely go.

Why?

Why?

Explore a euro rail ticket and head round france with backpacks for a week. If that’s too expensive Croatia and Slovenia or even Morocco.

If she really doesn't want to go, then fair enough, though personally I would really want to encourage her to reconsider. They gain so much from the experience of going away with their peers, and it's so important for them to be pushed out of their comfort zones.

I wouldn't force her to go, but personally, I don't think I would be rewarding her for what I regard as a poor decision with an alternative holiday, no matter how educational. I would respect her choice not to go on the trip, but choices have consequences, and I would make it clear that the alternative was doing whatever the school had organised for the week. However, it seems that you're not actually that keen on the school residential either, OP. So maybe this is as much about your discomfort with the idea of her going as it is hers?

If you are hell bent on pursuing the idea of an alternative holiday anyway, then I would be looking at options which push her clearly outside of her comfort zone and give her opportunities to develop her independence, as it sounds like that is what she would benefit from the most.

Absolutely she shouldn't go. So she's clearly stating she wouldn't enjoy it, and people are thinking it's bad that she's not accepting being told 'oh you don't know you won't enjoy it, just try it' when the rest of the time we are telling them to know their limits?
Can you imagine the aibu if this was an adult?
"AIBU work making me go and pay for a team building week, absolutely full of things l hate, aibu not to pay for something I know will make me miserable?"

Could one of the days be some sort of volunteering or something similar? I know many roles require vetting etc, but some will allow shadowing which might be a good experience too.

Paris.

As well as the obvious sights there is a fantastic list of suggestions here: www.timeout.com/paris/en/kids/best-things-to-do-with-kids-in-paris