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Original poster

Educational holiday instead of the Yr 6 residential

131 replies

NicolaandLawrie · 08/10/2022 22:20

My DD really doesn’t want to go on the Yr 6 residential. It’s 5 days, 4 nights at an outward bound centre, kayaking, canoeing, abseiling - that kind of thing. Teachers have applied a bit of pressure saying she’ll regret it if she doesn’t go. Personally I don’t think she will. She is confident, self-assured, knows her own mind and is clear that she wouldn’t really enjoy the activities and therefore doesn’t want to go.

I see no reason to pressure her into going, it’s £450 I could spend on something better for her. Which brings me to my question. The alternative provision for non attendees is to join a Yr 5 class for the week. I think that would be a waste of her time and therefore I am planning to take her out and go away.

I would like to go somewhere she can learn/experience something which will make it a great use of the time out of school, she loves art, animals, wildlife, is pretty good at speaking French and also enjoys walking, swimming and being out in nature.

Any suggestions of where we could go please? It will be during mid July, just before they break up for the summer. Thanks 😊

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MintJulia · 09/10/2022 08:02

You know your DD and it's your call. If you don't think she'd enjoy it then you don't need MN's permission.

My only hesitation is that PGL etc are there is encourage independence from parents. And it sounds like you don't want to miss out by not being with her.

In yr 5 my DS was equally sure he didn't want to go. I persuaded him by saying if he hated it, I would go and fetch him on the first evening. He loved it. In yr 6 he was the first on the bus.

MyLovelyPen · 09/10/2022 08:02

They won’t care if she doesn’t go but can we stop the MN drama about a week being too long for a Y6 residential 🙄. It’s absolutely standard. I did it in the 80s.

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:03

RyanYESorNO · 08/10/2022 23:32

As an ex-year 6 teacher, if she really doesn't want to go, then fair enough. If she hasn't got those strong friendship bonds that she wants to go for and she isn't interested in the activities then no point wasting money. And the school really won't care about you taking her out- they may well think it would be best for her to go on the residential, and they will likely have to be seen to be telling you that she needs to attend school for the week, but in reality it's an absolute pain accommodating them in year 5, so easier for the school if she's not there. Oh, and you may well be fined.

As for what to do- what does she enjoy? Go camping in the mountains, caravaning at the beach, horse riding centre, European capital break in an airbnb, camper van along the North Coast of Scotland. Whatever your budget allows and she will enjoy- there's education in every experience. The aims and outcomes of the year 6 residential trip be around teamwork, communication, pushing your comfort zones, resilience, independence, cooperation, etc, so it may be hard to replicate all of that. But anything you do will be better than sitting in the year 5 class bored to death!

She has very strong friendship bonds. She and her friends respect each other and recognise that some of them like certain things, some of them don’t. None of her friends would want her to be unhappy for a week. As I explained, it is the activities she doesn’t want to do. The entire week is planned around outdoor activities. I am sure there could have been other ways for the school to encourage them out of their comfort zone if they gave it some thought, rather than wanting them to abseil down a bridge… personally I feel it would be counter effective to force her to do something she is very clear that she doesn’t want to do. That to me, just demonstrates that no one is listening to her and creates a belief that somehow she has to do things even when she really, really doesn’t want to and she’s clearly articulated why she doesn’t want to. That’s not a belief I want her to carry into her adult life. Not sure how pushing them to do something that makes them unhappy builds resilience!

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:04

MintJulia · 09/10/2022 08:02

You know your DD and it's your call. If you don't think she'd enjoy it then you don't need MN's permission.

My only hesitation is that PGL etc are there is encourage independence from parents. And it sounds like you don't want to miss out by not being with her.

In yr 5 my DS was equally sure he didn't want to go. I persuaded him by saying if he hated it, I would go and fetch him on the first evening. He loved it. In yr 6 he was the first on the bus.

I’m not asking for permission. I was asking for ideas of educational holidays that we could go on instead. Yet most people have decided they need to share their opinion on whether she should go or not.

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:05

LondonWolf · 08/10/2022 23:07

I took dd to Center Parcs instead. It was brilliant. Some kids don't want to go and they shouldn't be forced to.

Thanks, will add that to the list, good shout.

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LizTrussIsACylon · 09/10/2022 08:06

European city break. Paris, Rome or Barcelona. Jet2 have some good deals.

NancyJoan · 09/10/2022 08:07

Janedoe82 · 08/10/2022 22:22

Is the whole point of these trips not about developing friendships/ being with peers.
i agree with teachers- she should go

Not really. It’s the usually in the last week or two of primary school, so they will never see these teachers, or half the children again.

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:07

23Elfie · 08/10/2022 23:19

My DD is currently in year 4 and not overly confident nor sporty and right now I don't think it'll be the kind of thing she'd enjoy at all. She's got 2 years so it might change but I've found myself wondering what we'd do if she really didn't want to go.
I love your idea of doing your own thing but trying to keep it educational at the same time. Euro camp is a great suggestion or perhaps you could go camping somewhere and get your DC to arrange an itinerary of places to visit?
Good on her (and you) for standing her ground and just saying nope not for me rather than being forced to go x

Thank you! I was forced into too many things I didn’t want to do as a child and had many miserable trips. It is her decision, not mine - if she wants to go she obviously will, if not I’m not forcing her.

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:08

SouthOfFrance · 08/10/2022 23:36

I don't think 4 nights 5 days is overly long for year 6, it's the norm among schools in our local area & the majority of children go on the trip.

However I get that its not something your child would get much benefit from & like your idea of an educational alternative, it sounds like you could do something really memorable.

I like the idea of a train trip round the UK. What's your budget? Could you go stay in a city and do lots of museums and history tours, eg Manchester, Liverpool, Bristol? Or even Paris if she is good at French.

Oooh... how about Paris, take in the art galleries there, then a trip to see Monet's garden/house?

Paris sounds like a great idea. She’s very artistic and would enjoy the museums. Thank you.

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:12

YourUserNameMustBeAtLeast3Characters · 08/10/2022 23:46

One of the good things about those residential trips is that the children push themselves out of their comfort zones, cheer each other on, discover they are braver than they think etc. So is there a way for your trip to be not just educational but a positive challenge for her too? Maybe planning the itinerary and budget for a train trip, if it was France then speaking a little French in shops, learning a skill, depends on your DD.

(We had to go and collect our child from the year 6 residential so it’s definitely not right for every child!)

From what I’ve heard from last year’s parents, children were ridiculed by the instructors for not jumping off cliffs into the sea, that kind of thing. Not cheering each other on.

But the challenge aspect is a good thing to consider, I like the idea of being abroad and she could take the lead in shops etc to speak the language. Thank you.

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Herecomethesheep · 09/10/2022 08:12

If the girl is confident in her decisions

strong enough not to mind being ‘left out’

knows herself

then it sounds as if she is well on the way to independence already.

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:13

Marshmallowmountain · 08/10/2022 23:53

I think it’s fine for her not to go. I’m not sure why we force children to do these ‘character building’ activities. May work for some, for others it can actually do the opposite.

Not sure where in the UK you are…I’d suggest a week of museums etc. so if in/near London I’d do the aquarium, the zoo, natural history museum, science museum.

Thank you! I think the same. We’re fairly central, could access a lot of museums during the week.

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:15

Everydayaschoolday · 09/10/2022 00:04

Bletchley Park is amazing! Also recommend:
The National Space Centre in Leicester
Eden Camp in North Yorkshire
Short break at Warwick Castle
The British museum/ Natural History museum/ Science museum
Housesteads and Chester’s Roman Forts at Hadrian’s Wall

I think she’d love the Space Centre, thank you! Whatever we do, she’s going to produce some kind of report on the week - she’s going to draw her own illustrations and create a little book from the experience.

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:18

HeddaGarbled · 09/10/2022 00:04

I’m with you. I was made to go on one of those outward bound things when I was a teenager and it was pretty close to being one of the worst weeks of my life. It was mostly frightening, wet, cold and humiliating. Developing teamwork is bollocks - no one wanted me on their team because I was so pathetically bad at everything. I suppose I did develop some resilience, in that I decided that I would never do something so horrendous ever again, and I haven’t 🙂

So, I can see that the nature, walking, swimming etc would be enjoyable. But if you’re aiming for educational, probably best to go down the art/museum route. I’ve been to Bletchley and it is interesting, though it’s run on a shoe-string so don’t expect much in the way of facilities. There’s not much else nearby but it’s doable from London or on the way, so you could maybe do London galleries and museums and do a day trip up to Bletchley.

IMO, the National Gallery is one of the top 3 art galleries in the world and anyone who is interested in art should go there whenever they can. (Louvre & Prado are the other 2, if you want to venture further).

Thank you. That is my thinking exactly, she’s not great at sports etc and has in the past been ridiculed by the other children for not being fast enough, coordinated enough etc. She tries her best but it’s not her thing. Her close friends would never make her feel that way, but some of the other children in the class have.

I’m thinking art galleries definitely need to feature. Thank you.

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Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:20

DeadbeatYoda · 09/10/2022 00:07

One of the big points about the yr 6 residential is encouraging independence from their parents. For many of them it is the first time they have stayed away from their families for more than a night or so. For many children it is a taste of independence before they go to secondary, where they are expected to be a little less tied to the apron strings.
This may or may not apply to your situation but it is worth thinking about.

She’s 10. I’m not asking her leave home just yet. 😀

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zinfanfan · 09/10/2022 08:20

-I loved Beamish as a child.
-York has lots of fab things to do. Castle Museum, Cathedral, Jorvik Centre.
-Pompeii is the most brilliant historical site I've been to. It really transports you to Roman times to walk those streets
-Hampton Court Palace is the best palace for the same reason (audio tour is great)

  • What topics has she been studying in History, Geography? What texts has she read for English? Is there anything there you could use as inspiration to plan a trip that would extend those studies?
inappropriateraspberry · 09/10/2022 08:21

That would have been my worst nightmare as a child, and probably even now! I'm sure she'd love the rest of it - sleeping with her friends, meals together etc, but the activities all sound very physical. Why haven't they made provisions for alternative activities for those that wouldn't like it? Nature trails, games, art etc. Surely there must be other children not keen on it all?
I'd take her away, then maybe arrange a camping trip (even in the garden) for her and some friends in the summer so she can experience can that side of it.

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:21

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 09/10/2022 00:07

All the team building etc is a bit late at the end of year 6 when they have just a couple more days/ weeks with the class before they leave. My children all went on theirs and enjoyed it to varying degrees but then most of their classmates they haven't seen since they left school a few days/ weeks later.

Paris sounds great, or youth hostelling might be fun to get outdoors, you can usually get family rooms just for the two of you and they are in some fantastic locations.

Thanks, they have also been in the same class since Year 1 so they already know each other pretty well!

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Perfectlystill · 09/10/2022 08:23

The point is to develop independence and ability to get in with peers.

Taking her away for a cosy trip with mum is missing the pony entirely.

Augend23 · 09/10/2022 08:25

I think Bletchley park is fab. Also the train museum in York.

Could you inspire independence by e.g. getting her to plan the full day out e.g. book the tickets, find the trains, navigate the station etc and you're just there to help out etc?

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:25

LynetteScavo · 09/10/2022 06:24

I'd take her on a trip to Paris or another European city. I'd then also go on a separate holiday to enjoy some beach life over the summer holiday.

Are you going to pay the fine you'll get for not sending her into school?

Thanks, will look into those ideas. If they really wanted to impose a fine then of course I’d have to pay it, but it’s not as though she’s missing any eduction - the alternative is sitting with a Yr 5 class. I’d think it very unreasonable if they decided to try and fine me.

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sashh · 09/10/2022 08:25

If you do the train trip do one night on a sleeper train.

York has lots of history and the national railway museum. You can walk the walls, head down the shambles, visit the Jorvik museum and watch out for red squirrels.

LondonWolf · 09/10/2022 08:26

Perfectlystill · 09/10/2022 08:23

The point is to develop independence and ability to get in with peers.

Taking her away for a cosy trip with mum is missing the pony entirely.

The point is her daughter doesn't want to go and OP asked for ideas for a trip not opinions on her and her daughters choices.

LondonWolf · 09/10/2022 08:26

Herecomethesheep · 09/10/2022 08:12

If the girl is confident in her decisions

strong enough not to mind being ‘left out’

knows herself

then it sounds as if she is well on the way to independence already.

This!

Original poster
NicolaandLawrie · 09/10/2022 08:26

Violettaa · 09/10/2022 06:38

’Developing teamwork and resilience’ is such bollocks. If she really hates that stuff, she’ll just be miserable and (rightly) resentful.

I’d vote for Barcelona over Paris - easily enough to keep you occupied, more fun rather than full on, and cheaper (I think).

Whatever you choose, I’d deff get her really involved in the planning and booking.

Thank you, yes I totally agree. Will look at Barcelona, thank you.

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