Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Upset about being told off by Ds's teacher, my four year old does not want to learn 'Sounds write'.

133 replies

FlllightAttendant · 14/01/2008 16:06

Oh golly, just got back from school with a 'note' to me in his book. It says 'I have put some letters in his bag, please practise these with him. If this is not clear, please ask.'

Ok, we have tried 'practising' these sounds, he is NOT INTERESTED. They have been there since september. I have written in his book, 'Ds is not really into reading/writing but he enjoys sounding out words to me sometimes'. They have just ignored it and are now putting the pressure on.

He is four fgs, all he wants to go to school for is to wallop the other little boys and play fart games, and be walloped in return.

He is not interested in reading, I thought they understood that - reception is about playing, non?

I just feel defeated. How do I handle this, once I have gathered myself into something resembling calm?

I am probably overreacting but it just feels like they are expecting too much. I don't want to force him into reading etc as it will put him off for life.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Buda · 14/01/2008 16:09

I would just put a reply in saying "I tried to practice the words with DS but he really doesn't seem that interested just yet and I don't want to pressurise him. I will try again in a few weeks.

DS was totally uninterested when he was in Reception till prob Feb/March and then one day he just refused to go home without a word sheet.

Original poster

FlllightAttendant · 14/01/2008 16:15

You have made it sound very simple, Buda. I will do that. Thankyou

OP posts:

Blandmum · 14/01/2008 16:16

I can understand that he isn't that interested, neither was ds but we did plug on, and I found that soft bribes worked well.

He doesn't have to do it for a long time. If he can't make 5 minutes, start at 3. Start with sounding out if that is what he likes best. Tie it to something that he does enjoy. It doesn't have to be B for butterfly, it can be B for batman, or whatever.

It worked with ds who has never been one of natures natural readers.

Enid · 14/01/2008 16:16

no, reception is not solely about playing otherwise whats the point?

I can totally sympathise with having a child who doesn't want to practise but perhaps you should have a more positive attitude towards it and take it a bit more seriously? If he senses you mean business then maybe he may sit down and concentrate. Ask the teacher if she has any good ideas to get him motivated.

And remember - this is starting him on the road to learning to read - possibly one of the most positive and life enhancing skills a human being can have - it isn't an unnecessary demand from the school.

dooley1 · 14/01/2008 16:18

Can't remember if you replied to my suggestion on another thread about taking him to the gp about sleeping btw 4pm -8pm?

dooley1 · 14/01/2008 16:18

also I thought you were thinking of HE?

Enid · 14/01/2008 16:19

[lovingly plaits the dds hair as they calmly colour in]

MrsKittylette · 14/01/2008 16:20

Enid hes 4!

I hate this kind of this, at that age they shouldn't have pressure put on them.

Reception should be about socialising at getting used to a school environment BEFORE the pressures of learning are added!

Twiglett · 14/01/2008 16:20

make games up

play shopping lists .. ie if it's s .. "I went to the shop and I bought a sled", next person "I went to the shop and I bought a sled and a salad" and so on

I didn't do homework in reception and spoke to teacher about it .. she was fine about it ..

MrsKittylette · 14/01/2008 16:20

this?

no thing! I hate this kind of thing! lol

Enid · 14/01/2008 16:21

learning to read isnt pressure

it is a gift

IndigoMoon · 14/01/2008 16:21

personally i would try and persevere with them, reception is all about setting foundations nowadays and they have a lot of money thrown at them to achieve it. i have been told that the shock of year one is immense and that things have to be in place in order to make the transition as easy as possible.

i am lucky in that dd will ask to do her work quite happily without being asked but we have two pieces of homework per week sometimes along with reading book and sight words.

Twiglett · 14/01/2008 16:21

reception is about learning building blocks and learning how to learn and does have educational targets .. but much should be acheived through play .. so it is daft to think it's a playzone

Blandmum · 14/01/2008 16:22

I think that gently getting them used to the idea that they have to do some things that are not 100% to their taste is no bad idea. And you can approach it slowly, and for very short periods of time.

There will always be a point where you have to ask them to do things when they don't want to, getting them used to the idea isn't being horrible to them, it is being practical.

And you do it in little baby steps so it doesn't freak them out.

Enid · 14/01/2008 16:24

stick the letters on the fridge

maybe one a week? every morning try to think of things that begin with taht sound, do it together

StripeyMamaSpanx · 14/01/2008 16:25

Its unnecessary at 4 IMO.

Buda's suggestion is good, you can just tell them that you are not prepared to put pressure on him. But be prepared for them to ignore you!

You are thinking about HE? Go for it! I have dd (4.9) in Steiner kindergarten (not going to discuss merits thereof here...!) and at Easter we are going travelling together and she will be HE. I'm a single parent and the thought is a little daunting, but I know it can be done and its exciting at the same time.

Original poster

FlllightAttendant · 14/01/2008 16:26

Thanks - Dooley, I sort of replied by explaining that he had used to have an afternoon sleep until he went to school, and that he was having quite late nights still - he is also having early mornings, he usually wakes around 5. Maybe this contributes and he will gradually adjust to the school routine?
He's not 'droopy' tired, he gets very silly and has masses of energy but some days he just conks out after school.

Enid, thankyou - I probably sound completely mad and anti school, well I'm not really but there is an attitude difference in that I believe children often learn best when they are doing what interests them, and what interests Ds is inventing. He is really bright, spend hours creating brilliant models and 'machines' and has just started to draw, but again only things that interest him.
Quite often when we talk about school he says 'I don't want to go today, I have work to do for goodness sake'! - he just would rather be inventing.

I am not at all bothered if he wants to learn to read and write just yet or not. I believe it will come with time and I love encouraging it when he shows an interest. I've been reading to him and with him here and there for years, but he isn't into it at the moment.

Maybe I should home educate? I am not sure why that note in his book upset me so much. I just want him to enjoy stuff and not be under pressure.

Sorry if it came across as being anti the school, I know they do their best.

OP posts:

Original poster

FlllightAttendant · 14/01/2008 16:30

Ooh crossed posts there, wow...yes, I agree about it being learning through play, that is what I meant - I only send him to school as I believe he enjoys the social side of it. I would love teaching him myself.

(Enid - that is why I wanted girls, I had forgotten! - not that it is always a matter of gender I'm sure) I abhor fart games too

Stripey that is the thing, we DID talk about it last term and they are just ignoring me/it.

It is an academically high achieving school, and I fear it may get more pressurised...?

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 14/01/2008 16:32

LOL Enid - I thought "she is SO a mum of girls" when I read your first post - then I read your next one about walloping and fart games and plaits and colouring in

muppetgirl · 14/01/2008 16:33

How about just starting with his initial letter? Ask him to spot it on car number plates, lorries real boy things. We gave extra credited for really 'cool' words that had 2 of his inital letters in. This got him looking. He then began to see the point of learning the sounds and has gone on to learn M for mummy D for daddy P for Poppy (cousin) a for apple. He is pointing at the words in his bedtime stories and asking what they say and is now desperate to learn to read. Girls will do things becasue they have been asked (most, anyway I am a teacher so have a little experience!) whereas boys need to see the point of doing things.

LynetteScavo · 14/01/2008 16:33

F. A. - I agree with Buda.

My DS also in reception isn't interested either, but I'm trying to keep calm about it. My only worry he won't be able to express his ideas on paper when he's in year one. I presume that's the point he might think about learning to read.

wannaBe · 14/01/2008 16:34

I agree with enid. Reception is largely about learning through play, but it is learning none the less. setting the foundations for the years to come.

The teacher is doing nothing wrong, she is there to teach your child but she can only teach him, you as a parent have a duty to help him through his school yers, imagine how frustrating it must be for a teacher who potentially has 30 parents who don't think their children should have to learn to read just yet.

Reading is not a chore, it is something wonderful that will enable your child to discover so many things as he grows up. Start small, look for things with the sounds of the day if he's not interested in doing the ones in his book.

If you allow him to not learn because he doesn't want to, he will find the transition into year1 very hard indeed, especially if his peers are ahead of him.

muppetgirl · 14/01/2008 16:35

My ds is 4 in March btw so we are taking it slow... (so still 3 atm)

witchandchips · 14/01/2008 16:37

All this makes me really depressed. What do they think happens the children in their 4th year? 3-4 is all supposed to be play and child centred and then suddenly at 4 they have to meet development targets and sit down to work.

In witches ideal world everybody would be at pre-school until 7 and learn to read and write at their own pace.

Original poster

FlllightAttendant · 14/01/2008 16:39

I am not really cut out for this I think. Surely although reading is valuable, he is learning other things much more efficiently if they interest him?

I do gently encourage word games etc. but if this is all about getting ready for a strict regime in yr 1, or the teacher having it easier, I fail to see the point. (That sounds harsh, not meant to be - Ds2 on my lap and I can't think how to be diplomatic!) I understand she has to stick to a system and that is potentially why we may end up not getting on very well with school.

I wish it was simple.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6