Upset about being told off by Ds's teacher, my four year old does not want to learn 'Sounds write'.

[FlllightAttendant]

Oh golly, just got back from school with a 'note' to me in his book. It says 'I have put some letters in his bag, please practise these with him. If this is not clear, please ask.'

Ok, we have tried 'practising' these sounds, he is NOT INTERESTED. They have been there since september. I have written in his book, 'Ds is not really into reading/writing but he enjoys sounding out words to me sometimes'. They have just ignored it and are now putting the pressure on.

He is four fgs, all he wants to go to school for is to wallop the other little boys and play fart games, and be walloped in return.

He is not interested in reading, I thought they understood that - reception is about playing, non?

I just feel defeated. How do I handle this, once I have gathered myself into something resembling calm?

I am probably overreacting but it just feels like they are expecting too much. I don't want to force him into reading etc as it will put him off for life.

Witchy you lovely thing

do you HE?

so what will you do? if in year1 he doesn't want to read yet will you say ok? year2? when he is 10? at whIf you HE, and I personally have my own views on that which I will not express here or anywhere else, but if you do, will you allow your ds to go through life without learnigng to read or write because he doesn't want to?

We would all like to go through life not doing the things we don't want to, but there are certain things that are essential, and being able to read is one of them.

No ds not yet 3 and also think the social side of school is really important. I'm pretty sure i could teach ds to read, write etc at evenings and at w/es but i couldn't teach him to make + keep friends iyswim

Well, if he doesn't want to, I won't force him, no. I imagine he will find out that he needs to one day if that were to happen, and then I would help him.

Am I crazy?

Here here, witch!

Am I right in thinking Einstein didn't read untill he was 7? I know my father didn't and he was bright and did rather well for himself in life. I was a late reader, and it didn't bother me, or my parents. It's far more important for children to enjoy schooland develop SOCIAL SKILLS at this age. DS1 learned to read extreamly easily, but has always struggled socially. Reading is important, but not the most important thing at this age.

Sorry that reply was to Wannabe..Witchy I'm the same, I can do the academic stuff but not provide the fart games etc.

at least not willingly

I taught year 10 today. they are all hormonal and would rather talk about their social lives than work

At 14 I think I have the right to expect them to do al ittle work for me

So some of the girls and I had words at the end of the lesson. And will now be sitting apart next lesson and for the forseable future.

4 is a little different though, but i would gently start him. For a very short period of time.

Do you want suggestions to help with him reading, or are you of the view that if he doesn't want to he shouldn't have to yet? Because if it is the latter, then please, please consider HE - or at least check out other schools to see if there are any closer to your ethos!

You can't really take Einstien as the norm though, as he was the greatest mind of his generation!

madness. sorry but it is.

What if he never decides he wants to read? or worse what if he gets to an age where he is too embarrassed to admit he can't read?

without being able to read, he will have no future.

WannaBe, that's exactly the attitude my mother took with us.. seh helped us when we were ready to be helped. My sister learned to read at 3, I was much, much older. We were both happy.

Thanks MB

Ladymuck, not really after suggestions - I have even bought those books from sainsburys to do word stuff, but he only lieks the stickers!

It is the latter. I just don't believe in forcing a curriculum if it is not appropriate to the boy.

Do you HE?

FlllightAttendant, WannaBe has visions of your DS ending up like Keith from Eastenders! - Hair and all!!

At least I won't have put him off it Wannabe...I think it is a bit of a generalisation to doubt someone's future because of a lack of one basic skill.

I think he will be a marvellous electrician if nothing else - reading isn;t everything but I am hoping he will be able to at least.

You can't 'force' someone to learn to read.
Some children pick it up naturally and other's struggle. If they struggle they will not want to do it. It doesn't mean they won't ever be able to read, it just means they might take a bit longer.

No really you should get the flssh cards ready, and do them after school each day, and several times at the weekend, other wise he will have no future, no future atall.

He might even end up spelling and typing like me!!!

Lol Lynette

I'm glad your mother waited till you were ready and keen to learn. It just makes sense to me.

I don't want to be scared about his future iyswim, and imagine him as a failure. That's not a good reason to do something imo.

But people are approaching reading as if it's some bad thing. it isn't. reading opens up a whole new world - in fact if your ds likes to invent things then by learning to read he will ultimately be able to read about inventing.

If you HE what are you going to do? allow ds to play for the rest of his life because he doesn't want to learn?

wannabe i am not against teaching children to read at an early age but i am just really unhappy with forcing the issue and making it seem like work at the infant stage.

if schools had more teachers (1/8 like pre-school) then they could have both a more relaxed approach, learning through play at the childs own place and still ensure that children reached the age of 7 being able to read, write stories, add up etc.

So why do we start teaching children to read at 4 in this country. Some children could learn at 3, including DS1. Are we holding these children back?

I agree with enid.

If it doesnt interest him - make it interesting. Its really easy to at that age. Letter sounds are really important IMO, but, I've had to take Dd to speech therapy and so i'm quite conscious of this particular exercise - it helps with the building blocks of reading, ensures she is practicing her sounds to pronounce properly, and its key interaction between the two of us.

You have an excellent opportunity to help shape your sons education. YOu should take it.

but the op seems to think her ds should never have to learn to read, ever if that's what he wants.

learning to read lays the foundations for every other bit of learning, I fail to see how that is unimportant.

So if a child doesn't want to learn to read/isn't ready we should force them, WannaBe?

LS ime yes not holding back but stopping them doing stuff they they might enjoy. Also if we don't pick up the cues at 3, they may have lost interest a year later

No, no, not in the slightest. I am grateful that I can read well. It is a great thing, reading, just Ds doesn't see it that way!

He is learning all the time. Thismorning he was telling me that some of the robots he had been making on the floor were 'symmetrical'. I don't kno many four year olds who can even say that word.

How can you assume he isn't learning all the time?

(He knows a darn sight more about electrical circuits than me, for a start!)