Did you send your children to a private primary despite having good state options nearby? Did you send your children to a state primary even though you could have afforded a private primary? Why and why?

[WellWeathered]

What swayed it for you in the end?

Are you happy with the choice you made? Which aspects have lived-up to expectations and which haven't?

I'm currently very torn and would appreciate the experience and opinions (that's lucky then this been Mumsnet) of others.

ReallyTired - actually you're right on the facilities thing, the 'best school in the borough' option probably has better facilities than the private school.

I think looking at the 3 schools which are our options dd is likely to be mixing with the same people at whichever school just because of the nature of where I live.

I am hoping once we have looked at all the schools one will feel the right answer (and then we'll get into it !). I had many many sleepless nights over which nursery to send my dd to and in the end one just felt right and it certainly is (you may remember my thread THe Blonde !).

Both ds and dd educated privately. They go to a school that welcomes all academic abilities and stives for excelence in the individual... in other words they want every child to achieve his or her own potential.

My ds is g & t and they have harnessed both, dd looks to be musical as well. Their friends are from all walks of life (ds's best friends parents are nurses, chip shop workers, military, builders... the whole range)

They have small classes, a varied and less structured curriculum, opportunities for sport and foreign languages from Nursery. Huge musical dept.

Pastoral care is great

Few real behaviour problems within the school

Worth every penny

Actually Nell - the musical nature of the private school is one of the things that swings me that way much of the time. I read the two state schools ahve good music departments so I will be looking closely to see how they compare.

Remember, private schools do not have to stick to the National Curriculum so there are more opportunities for them to go with a project.

However, state schools get more stuff thrown at them for free by the government. My last school (state) had a term of steel pan music, a term of djembe drum lessons etc all covered by the council. Private schools have to foot the bill themselves for that kind of thing.

As far as individual music lessons (with peripatetic teachers) goes, at the last state school I taught at (junior) the average musical ability was Grade 2 by Year 6, at private schools, it is Grade 4 or 5. Mainly due to the environment... the children are given termly opportunities to perform and share (this leading others to think "I can do that!") there are more dedicated "practice rooms" and a greater proportion of the children learn an instrument.

Well, don't mean to be deliberately controversial, but I was state school educated and then went to Cambridge Uni where most of my peers had been privately educated. As a generalisation I would say that they were narrower in their outlook on life and background - v middle class, insular and privileged to the point of snobby. Those educated at single sex schools tended to be the most sheltered (and not in a good way), the boys were often v immature (though this probably applies to many 18 year old boys) and many many of the girls fitted the stereotype of the highly pressured, over-achieving middle class anorexic. It was enough to put me off private education for life. Though I've always been envious of people who can read Latin (I'm serious!).

Saying that, we have failed to get a state school place for our four year old and so are considering private school. So I don't feel that strongly one way or the other. But I would transfer her to state school as and when a place becomes available, adn not jsut for financial reasons.

Star - I was v. anti private school, DH and I having been state educated very well. I tend to agree with you knowing my friends who are privately educated. Definitely the girls I knew who went to single sex schools (and only had sisters) had a very different relationship with men than those who went to mixed schools.

However, now its time to actually educate my daughter and knowing we might not get into one of the better schools in the area we started to look at private primaries and they just look v. tempting.

I only looked at mixed private schools as i didn't want dd going to a single sex school. However, our local state secondaries are single sex so I would actually have to send dd privately at secondary to get a mixed school !

Dont want to start any arguments, but I am tired of people making assumptions based on sometimes years old experiences at schools that they are not sending their children to anyway

Schools (state and private) have changed tenfold since we were children

Have a look at everything on offer and choose what you thisnk is best for your child. If this is a private school and it is within your budget, more the better.

Actually Nell - I had meant to say that too. I think these days more average people end up at private schools which I think make things v. different.

Catchment state primary judged excellent and is very good. We still went private for a few reasons

1. Wraparound care which is fun, structured and enjoyable.
2. Small class sizes. I teach and I know absolutely what a difference there is between teaching a class of 22 and teaching a class or 32!
3. The music and sporting facilities are excellent. Acres of outdoor space, swimming pool on site etc. Adventure playground for the infants + tress to climb and sit under. 4)Pastoral care is fab. Lots of interesting visitors and school trips too.

My one disappointment is that it's 10mins in the car.

We're teachers & were quite frankly underwhelmed by the standards of teaching we saw at the best private prep within commute that we visited - my dh was always going to be hard to impress but I was very willing to be, having been private ed myself.

Unfortunately everything we saw seemed to contrast with the vibrancy and positive can-do atmosphere of our local state primary.

At the private, the students looked bored/ placid/ friendly but unchallenged in all except the infant class which had a new and enthusiastic teacher. The school were getting decent results from nice kids & reported to parents every 5 minutes. Noticeably the classes got bigger as they went up in year group, it did rather look like the default option if things didn't work out at primary rather than opting for it in the first place on its own merits.

There are plenty of good private schools out there - I attended one - but I am well aware, and this visit confirmed it, that there are mediocre private schools & essentially parents are paying for smaller classes & a bit of french, thinking it guarantees better.

trees to climb.

We can afford private, but send our children to state. I think if the local state school is half decent then private school is the biggest waste of money there is. We live in London.

Fair enough. In which case I am choosing our local state school because I liked the headmistress, the children seemed interested and bright, the atmosphere was inclusive and responsive, and it's free. It also has a v active PTA and the parents are very involved, which gives it a community feel. It also teaches Spanish from reception, which I personally prefer to French (which the private school does).

The local private is also great because it is two minutes from our house and had a lovely, welcoming atmosphere and I also liked the headmistress and the reception teacher. My main reservation about that particular school, (besides finances and private education ingeneral), are that the parents are not involved at all it seems.

Re. music etc - yes, the private school offers more but we will supplement this outside of school hours. I did trumpet at my state school and piano outside of it. Likewise with sport as I agree that state schools probaly don't do enough, thanks to the Nat. Curriculum.

Each to their own, as with so many aspects of parenting.

Heated, I totally agree. We're certainly not in the 'private without question' camp although I know lots of parents who are.

It's interesting you say that because our state school, whilst being excellent on paper seemed so rigid to me. Everyone beavering away silently. Kids stand up when the Head walks in. It made me uneasy. By contrast, the school we went for was vibrant and the kids seemed bursting with enthusiasm. I just loved it.

It just goes to show that you need to judge each school by its own merits.

dd goes to an OK (not excellent, not amazing, but OK) state primary school. We could afford to go private.

Reasons for state:

I wanted to give the state option a good shot, because I was state educated, my mother was a state school teacher and I believe in the system.

I wanted dd to be in a mixed school, and the nearest mixed state schools are some distance away. I wanted to be able to walk to school, and for dd to be at a school within the local community. I have a younger ds, and I want him to be able to go to the same school as dd.

I didn't like the vibe of the walkable (girls only) private school. Was very formal, and not so raucous and play-centric. Also did not warm to the other parents at the look-see. And disagree with the idea of selection at 3.5 (she would have had to attend a 3 hour long assessment session).

Also, this private school has classes of 24 for reception and years 1 & 2, increasing later on. I felt that since dd's state class would be capped at 30 (and at her school they have 1 teacher and 2 classroom assistants), the difference in terms of more one to one was limited. It just felt rather like a production line.

I do know of a good mixed private school with smaller classes and a more relaxed vibe (my nephews go there). It isn't too far. If I feel that dd is not thriving, then that is an option. But I find that having the reserve option had perhaps helped me to see the positives in dd's school. I am relaxed because there is an alternative if things go wrong. But is pretty positive so far, so fingers crossed.

Actually Cushioncover I rather like it when kids stands up when the head walks into the room, but I'm an old fossil! But happy, keen & enthusiastic students sends it own message, I totally agree.

What I did like about the private school was the freedom from NC prescription so the children there took part in some form of physical activity every day & the creative aspect was nurtured.

I would never say never to private ed, but know from my own workplace that impressive state provision does exist.

A lot of problems that state school have happen at private schools. Ie. bullying is often rampant at any school.

Why does a child have to go to a private school to get music lessons. The money that I save by using state schools pays for One to one swimming lessons, recorder lessons and French. I also think that my son's mind is broadened by being taken on interesting holidays.

I was strongly attracted to St Pauls cathedral school because of its reputation for music and we suspected that DD was musical. It is unlikely that the RC state school that we ended up choosing will be able to offer her the same quality of music education. She will also not be learning Latin at age 7.

I've picked up that particularly in people whose children are bright (and isnt that all of us?) there is the anxiety that we must make choices that will stretch and harness maximum potential of our children and that private schooling is more likely to achieve this.

DD seems happy at her school and is making friends. It is noticeable that some of her closest are the ones who are quite bubbly and chatty. I do sometimes wonder how things would have turned out if she had taken the place at St Pauls but these thoughts are quickly banished when I see her enthusiasm and exuberance about school.

wheelybug - I am undecided about co-ed or single sex but everything at the moment is leaning me towards state school

In our area >40% pupils at the state school don't have english as their first language

TheBlonde - then going private will take your DCs away from some of those children who don't speak English. When my DS1 started in his state school reception this year, there was a boy without a word of English. Whether the selection process for a private school is a 3 hour interview or a chat with a snooty head, I bet children without one word of English do not get into private schools.

They do sometimes fridayschild. It all depends on the ethos of the school. Ds' best friends in Reception were twins who started in nursery with no English at all.

And we have quite a few families where English is not the first language...Yoruba, Turkish, French, Hindi and Urdu...
We live in a suburban largely white monoculture so as far as I'm concerned it's all good news

Sorry - meant to say - for me part of living in London is mixing with lots of people from different cultures and this is one of the "mix" benefits you get from the state system.

Though that school just off Sloane Square with the awful mustard uniforms is said to have a good mix of incredibly wealthy children from all nationalities

I think that is v. true of inner London fridayschild but the further out you go, it isn't, sadly
Am therefore heartily pleased with comparative cultural diversity of the dcs' school

After much two-ing and fro-ing on the matter, we're hoping our son will get into the decent-but-not-outsanding primary school nearest to our house. We contemplated Catholic school (DH Catholic), private school (could have afforded it at a push) and getting all franctic about trying to get him into the outstanding primary school a mile away, but when push comes to shove, we want an easy, happy, locally-based schooling for our son.

I will get all Mumzilla about secondary schools when the time comes, though, I'm sure!