Did you send your children to a private primary despite having good state options nearby? Did you send your children to a state primary even though you could have afforded a private primary? Why and why?

[WellWeathered]

What swayed it for you in the end?

Are you happy with the choice you made? Which aspects have lived-up to expectations and which haven't?

I'm currently very torn and would appreciate the experience and opinions (that's lucky then this been Mumsnet) of others.

fridayschild - I think you must be talking about Hill House, it is quite international

Actually, at my nearest private school there is probably only about 5% (at most - honest) white children and many of these join the school not speaking english and most (I think) do not have english as their first language.

oops just reread - I meant to say "leaning me towards private school

TheBlonde - Doh ! (Were you privately educated )

nope, state school for me! can't you tell

Private primary = 10 Mins in the car, sometimes quicker to walk in rush hour traffic, closer to my work than local state school.
Much better extra cirriculars, teaches to independant entrance exams, smaller classes, more academic atmosphere, faster pace of learning, better discipline, better facilities (swimming pool, tennis, netball, courts, hockey, rugby, football pitches, science labs, art rooms, ict suites, fantastic library) and the option to exclude disruptive trouble making children, you do hear so much about schools not able to resort to expulsion even when children are violent...
This way we know we couldn't be doing anything else for our DCs as for us this was by far the best option!

I could have afforded private school fees but am lucky enough to live somewhere where the state schools are good. The infant school is at the end of my road (with an outstanding Ofsted report, for what it's worth) and I am a governor at the junior school. So all his friends live close by - if he went to a private school they'd be all over the place.

And it's not just the fees, it's the uniform and all the other costs. It becomes very very expensive very quickly. Also I've spent time in Germany where the kids go to state schools and the parents supplement their children's education in other ways eg paying for language courses abroad etc. I'd rather spend the money that way (and to get rid of the mortgage more quickly). Ultimately I think my son will do better state education with his parents around than in private education with us both working long hours to cover the fees.

Ultimately people do what's best for them - what are the local schools like, did you go to private/state school yourself, do you want your child to grow up with a cross-section of society, are the private schools close, do you like the ethos etc etc etc

Remember many private schools can be very selective so they should get good results. It does not mean the teaching is better.

We did think private might be best for our two as they were due to start school this year and we are self builders, so move house regularly. I trawled around all the private schools in the local city (40 mins away) but just wasnt convinced, then decided to just take a look at the village primary 'just in case'. It was a revelation, relaxed, friendly, great motivated staff, 'active learning' which will undoubtably be better for my two. So I have enroled them there and saved a fortune. May look again at private if we plan to move after a year or so. Cant keep moving schools every couple of years.

We decided against private primary because of transport (all slightly tricky journeys) religious links (I'm a Catholic educated atheist) but mostly because they had ridiculously unchildfiendly uniforms. I felt that showed more of an interest in PR (as in don't those children look cute) than in the needs of the children. All of our local friends have chosen different schools (including private) and they all seem happy.

We chose state primary over private - we could easily have afforded private but the state primary was closer, had a lovely vibe and a small catchment area so all dd's little friends are in the streets around which is great for her as an only child.

Our dd has just started private primary - we took her out of a very good state school and moved her due to unconnected circumstances, however it is only now she has started at private school we realise the gulf between the working level at her old school and this one - she now has to have private extra tuition to catch up to her new class mates.

So far, so good.

Didn't put too much thought into what school dd would go to as there is a great Catholic primary a 2 minute walk away. It's great that loads of her friends are within walking distance. The local secondary schools are rubbish however so unless she gets into one of the super-selective top-notch grammars then it's private for secondary. Will probably opt for private regardless as it will mean staying within walking distance rather than bussing it the 10 miles to the grammar.

Went private

Very happy with it for the following reasons

1. The academic standards are very high - higher than in the state equivalent
2. The sports - slightly unexpectedly my dc turned out sporty and they love having netball/hockey/swimming/tennis/rugby teams at school
3. The music - it's built in to the school properly and the children can join choirs (competitive ones) and orchestras and play instruments.
4. The ability to nurture the individual, whatever their talent
5. The social, religious and ethnic diversity leading to mutual tolerance and respect
6. The competitive nature of the school that keeps my DC trying their hardest
7. The small class sizes, leading to more individually tailored learning

The only way in which it has been slightly disappointing is that the school is really quite small - and i wonder whether this is going to be an issue in terms of becoming a wee bit claustrophobic in later years.

We have chosen a private primary for DS. Where we are in London the local primaries often have up to 75% of children that don't have English as first language. DS is bilingual English /Arabic but his English is of mother tongue standard as I am a native speaker. Additionally DS is a late August birthday so I thought he might benefit from smaller classes and more support. I chose a prep school that does not select at age 3 as I find this objectionable. He is now in a class of 13 with a teacher and TA and thriving. The after school care until 6pm if needed is an added bonus.
I am concerned that there seems to be an assumption that private = white anglo saxon etc. I think that really depends where you are, in DS's class out of 13 at least eight of the boys (including DS as DH is North African) are not white anglo saxon so in terms of culture the school is very mixed.
I think as others have said you have to go and see the various schools and identify the one that meets your child's needs best.

This is a really interesting thread. DD is due to start a good primary school (state) in sept. She is happy there (there have been some problems) and has friends. But, we are being seduced by a brilliant private school down the road and thinking about sending her there. Funnily enough, its not so much about her, as I think she will be happy wherever, its more about ds, and thinking that he will be better there, so doing this in advance of him going there, IYSWIM.

Maybe I'm making a mistake (I'm not making the decision yet, but we'll have to soon)

We thought very long and hard about this one as DH and I were both state educated and from very working class backgrounds.
However we plumped for a coed, slightly selective indie school.
What a revelation...it is fantastic.

• small classes
• setting by year 3 which so helps my DD who struggles in maths but alows DS to fly.
• fabulously broad curriculum - none of this 3RS teach to the test shite
• proper competitive sports
• wonderful music with choirs, orchestras, ensembles, rock groups etc

Importantly, it is nowhere near as posh as you think it's going to be and the other parents are a real mixed bunch. I never would have believed I'd feel so positive about it.

And forgot to mention those fabulously long holidays!!!!!

We chose state because we don't want our children to grow up in a a privileged bubble.

We could afford to send our DTS to private school but have chosen state for 3 reasons.

1. Both DH and I have PhD in science subjects and well paid jobs which is a result of attending state schools in poor working class areas. We believe academic achievement is mainly down to family support and self belief which we had in abundance.

1. The state primary, that the boys will attend in September is 10 minutes walk from the house, has an ethos that believes in developing the whole child and not churning academic drones that perform on cue, has 15 after school clubs including fencing, sailing, German, science, art, orchestra, choir etc.

1. It is free and we rather use our money to enrich the lives of the boys in other ways. Education does not only happen in the school environment. We like to travel, visit castles, museums etc and the boys will learn far more from things like that than they will in a classroom. They knew all the planets in the solar system by the time they were 3yo, they can tell the difference between a horsechesnut tree and sweetchestnut and they can spot an Eurasion coot a mile away at the age of 4yo. Other than the solar systme, I doubt any school would have taught them any of that.

The other reason for choosing our state primary was that prospective parents were shown around by the children and we could ask them any thing. The children were delightful, articulate and full of self-confidence. According to Ofsted the school is satisfactory but I took no notice of that.

The schoool also has a breakfast club and afterschool as do most of the state primaries around here.

State faith school here. We chose it for so many reasons, the main one being that as a faith school, we share the ethos and have not been disappointed. The children are all local and nothing is as lovely as having all the friends up the road knocking on the door in the morning and all the children walking to school together. It has excellent levels of discipline, very good academics and is rated second in the borough. It is a very middle class school, most of the parents could afford private but choose not to, and the parents are mostly professionals who expect good standards from the school who are able to deliver this. I believe that we're getting 80% of a top academic private education in a loving caring environment with nice kids in the class but with so many benefits I have not seen in the private schools around here. The children go onto to good secondaries, some state, some grammar, some private but the overall impression of the school is that it is a warm and caring environment with a great spirit and high expectations of the children.

It isn't a multicultural school which allows the children to mix with all backgrounds, the kids there are the same as the ones in the private schools but with less homework and testing

We sat DC for a good local prep school and were offered a place but chose not to take it because we prefered the state option. If we hadn't got into his current school we would have gone private. I sometimes wonder if we are risking not getting them into a private secondary but the good schools round here do have a good number of state educated kids coming in at 11

Chose an academic private day-school some 7 miles away despite an allegedly very good state primary being within walking distance.

Reasons against the state school
(1) Class sizes around 32
(2) Very few books in the school
(3) No sports - in the sense of proper team sports that are organised
(4) No music to speak of - so no chance to learn proper musical instrument, and no choir
(5) No foreign language teaching
(6) No afterschool club
(7) No activities such as chess/drama etc
(8) (and this is extremely petty but it was the clincher) there was a rather nice display of drawings. The children had obviously been told to draw giraffes. The teacher (I know it was the teacher because I asked) had done a heading for the display which read "Girafe's are tall"

Reasons for the private school
(1) Class sizes of 16-20
(2) Academically selective and moving at a fast pace
(3) Lots of sports and music and activities generally
(4) French and or Spanish
(5) Much more racially mixed

The downsides of the private school were the travelling and the fees, but worth it all IMO.

We chose a state school because we live in a nice area and the local state school isn't a complete disaster!! In principle, we're for state education (yawn, yawn, round-and-round-the mulberry bush on that discussion between my OH and myself!!) Oh, the heartache involved in these discussions, when all we want is small class sizes, inspirational teaching, and a nice learning environment (ie a school which is not falling apart at the seams!) Anyway, products of state education ourselves, my OH and myself both went on to university, so it's not an end-of-the-world option, you know!?!