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Primary education

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Original poster

Why do we send children to school so young

511 replies

sandcastles1 · 20/09/2021 10:35

Just that really - I'm feeling really disgruntled with our school system and why we make children go into full time education from the age of 4. My dc just started and is enjoying some of it and hating lots of it. She loved the first week when it was half days. For the past four years she has been either with me or her dad - we would take her out into the woods every day. Now she's cooped up in a small room/playground for the whole time. I could have home schooled her I know but didn't think that was the best thing socially. I can see the benefits of them going but 5 days a week 9-330 just seems harsh. Why couldn't it be three days. I know up until 5 we can take them out but just wondering how others feel as I'm missing my daughter a lot, she doesn't want to be there most of the time and I really now see the virtues of other countries that don't start full time until 7. Yes it means we can work, but why is that the norm? People that don't want to spend more time with their kids could find other care the rest of the time.

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MrsSkylerWhite · 20/09/2021 10:38

Agree with you. Don’t have the answers though. Suspect that not starting full time schooling until 7 would make working life very difficult for millions of people informs policy 🤷‍♀️

Floralnomad · 20/09/2021 10:38

Most places have very active home school groups so the children get to socialise that way . I think you will find that the majority are happy with the school system as it is because it is free childcare for the majority of a normal working day , it doesn’t suit everyone .

NerrSnerr · 20/09/2021 10:42

People that don't want to spend more time with their kids could find other care the rest of the time.

Or maybe they'd love to be home all the time but need to work to pay the mortgage.

All 4 year olds are different. My youngest has just started reception and he loves it and is a definitely ready. He has been in childcare for at least 3 days a week for a number of years now.

If you look at other countries where they start 'school' at 7 they have a kindergarten system which is similar to our KS1.

Comedycook · 20/09/2021 10:43

People that don't want to spend more time with their kids could find other care the rest of the time

Miaow

Megistotherium · 20/09/2021 10:45

My country doesn't start school until 6/7. But it doesn't mean the children stay at home. They have kindergarten from 4, and by the time they start school, they start proper formal learning.
And in England, reception is not really formal, so is yr1, quite similar to kindergarten in my country, I think.

Schoolwhattodo · 20/09/2021 10:45

I’m with you. I started a thread this morning wondering if I should skip reception for my four year old.

It’s feels far too young Sad

yellowgingham · 20/09/2021 10:49

It's a shame your DD isn't enjoying it, mine loved reception and so did all her friends.

Maybe she just needs more time to settle? If I felt as strongly as you though I think I'd take her out and home school. My neighbour does this and I don't think the kids are missing out socially, they have a very active network of friends who are also home schooled.

Keepitonthedownlow · 20/09/2021 10:49

School starts at age 5 here in Scotland, and the first year is play based. That seems right to me. Nursery is 3-4/5.

PoolNooodle · 20/09/2021 10:50

I agree with you!! Just been thinking this myself, my daughter started reception and is in from 9-3.20 and it just feels too much?! I liked it when she was on half days and pick up at 1pm but now I feel like I barely spend any time with her, there’s no time to do anything after school and the weekends go by so quick, I wish at least one day of the week was a pick up early day day or something. I know she doesn’t have to go reception before anyone says but it’s unusual for a child not to.

Original poster
sandcastles1 · 20/09/2021 10:50

I just think it stinks that the main reason is to enable people to work - a lot of people doing unnecessary hours to fill the 9-5 system we've created. I bet a lot of jobs could be covered in 3-4 days rather than 5. My DC was the happiest little girl up until two weeks ago when she started school and now she moans and is quite clingy. So many of the children look sad about going in. I think a lot of mums, including me (and dad's) are sad about leaving them - 5 days 9-3.30 just doesn't make sense to me in terms of well being - DC's, mine or dad's. I'd properly lobby the government to change - if I knew how - but a capitalist Tory government won't change it as they want us all in work buying sandwiches from Pret. It's rubbbish. I didn't think I'd feel like this - it's just witnessing the impact on DC and the emotions I'm experiencing has really made me sit up and wonder what it's all about. It's not natural really to be away from the people who care the most at such a young age. They need extra input and some education but why does the school now get to spend more time with my DC than I do. I want to show her how to skip, write and read - with support from others SOME of the time. Just frustrated and need to accept it I guess.

OP posts:
loveisanopensore · 20/09/2021 10:51

If traditional school started later the government would have to sort out early years childcare and they really don't want to.

Thurlow · 20/09/2021 10:52

I’m sorry your DD is struggling to settle in to Reception but seriously, implying that those people who are happy their kids have started school just don’t want to spend time with them?

BOOMshakeshakeshaketheroom · 20/09/2021 10:53

Push against it. Write to your MP. Pull your kid out if you can.
It's way too much, way too soon, imo.
(I home ed my children.)

Schoolwhattodo · 20/09/2021 10:55

sandcastles1 I started my other thread because my daughter’s happiness declined when she started reception a few years ago. She is completely fine now and loves school, but she would definitely have benefited from skipping reception - and probably year 1 too.

My son has just started and it seems to be happening again. Four feels so young. Other countries start at six or seven.

HumunaHey · 20/09/2021 10:55

My DS is 3. He will be due to start reception next September and I'm beginning to realise how young it is to start. Mind you, he might love it but it foes seem alot.

Samanabanana · 20/09/2021 10:56

Yes, I send my child to school because I hate spending time with him. Obviously.

I actually agree that schooling starts too young here, but framing it how you have is just awful.

Comedycook · 20/09/2021 10:56

I don't recognize your description about starting school. My DC both loved school from the start. Reception is mainly play based learning isn't it? It's not like they're sitting in neat rows at desks.

yellowgingham · 20/09/2021 10:57

What were the hours when you went to school OP? The current government didn't bring in the 9-3.30 school day...

You seem to really hate it. I don't get why you don't just home school, lots of people do.

CaddieDawg · 20/09/2021 10:59

I'm sorry but I think this is because you haven't done your job by preparing her (and yourself) for the change rather than the system being wrong. If she's genuinely too young, defer her til next year or homeschool. Be thankful you have those choices.

Echobelly · 20/09/2021 11:01

Totally agree, 4 is way too young, even if learning isn't that formalised. I think the 4 yos are at such different stages (nothing to do with intelligence) at that age and even out much more by about 6 - some 4 year olds will be articulate, able to read; other will be barely out of daytime naps and only really just starting to put sentences together.

DS is August born, and not very mature even for that (and, it turns out has ADHD) - he was only out of nappies about 5 months before school started and still spent more time making noises that talking. Luckily he had a largely positive experience of school, but so many kids much disengage with education because they are simply not ready when they have to start.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 20/09/2021 11:02

My DD started school (at 4) where school hours were 7.30-1. Same length of time in lessons (they didn't have an hour for lunch, just 30 mins, and one other 10min break) but it did seem more balanced.

Reception is a lit like nursery in a lit of schools, not formal learning. Even mixed with the nursery class in lots of places.

I think changing the cut off to 1st April could make a massive difference.

MrPickles73 · 20/09/2021 11:02

People have this idea that in scandinavia children don't go to school til 7 and Finland still beats UK hands down in the PISA tests so why do we bother?.. Scandinavian nurseries are (generally) much higher quality, cheaper, with better qualified people working in them. The children are learning and socialising in a less structured environment. Scandinavians pay very high tax (compared to UK) so most families have dual incomes to pay the tax. Women are more equal to men. More women are in the work place and in higher positions.
Just because you can afford to stay home with your child is nice for you but alot of parents in the UK cannot afford to. Imagine free education did not start til 7 in the UK - how would that effect poorer families? OK so we could lay on more cheaper nurseries. Who would pay for those?
If you don't think mainstream education works for your child pre age 7 you have options ; home school, flexi school, montessori etc. Or move to Scandinavia? But if you did the latter you'd need to be working to pay your tax bill ;-)

PoolNooodle · 20/09/2021 11:02

My son hated reception, he use to scream his head of when he went in, Lucky my daughter seems ok For now

Secretroses · 20/09/2021 11:03

My children were more than ready to start reception when they did and happily went in every day. At that age, they just really wanted to learn and the social aspect is important too. It's not a case of me not wanting to spend time with them - I find this inference quite upsetting.

110APiccadilly · 20/09/2021 11:05

I have a friend who was able to take her DS out of school on Fridays in reception year - you could ask your school if they'd consider this? Very much depends on them, but as I say I've known it to be allowed (and there were no special circumstances).

FWIW I agree with you. I think it's a great shame that our current way of life is set up in such a way that for the majority of parents full time school at an early age is necessary for childcare.