Page 6 | Why do we send children to school so young

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SkinnyMirror · 20/09/2021 12:43

People that don't want to spend more time with their kids could find other care the rest of the time.

You lost me at this point.......

grey12 · 20/09/2021 12:45

@Simonjt my child's WHOLE year 1 class is still doing basic phonics homework which means they still don't read and write properly (I don't mind if my child was behind the others because she's the youngest and started talking late)

By the 2nd year of reading and writing school in my country kids just READ and WRITE. No more of reading and writing exercises at all, just fixing spellings errors and improving grammar.

To me this means that starting slightly later means things progress better. Besides there is so much kids can learn instead.

CarryOnNurse20 · 20/09/2021 12:45

My daughter is summer born and loves reception. She went to the school preschool last year and loved that too. Its all play based with learning mixed in naturally not times tables and drill. If you want to keep your child out and homeschool, do, but one size does not fit all.

Also I love my daughter and spending time with her but I do have to work. The implication that people who send their kids to school don't want to spend time with them is very rude.

Comedycook · 20/09/2021 12:45

@sandcastles1

I haven't kept DC at home away from people - she has been to nursery, summer camp, spent time in care with other people, been doing classes and playing with other children. Your assumptions here are wrong.

Why? Don't you want to spend time with her?

Sakari · 20/09/2021 12:47

Wow OP, your entitlement is off the charts. Your child hasn't settled so you want everyone else's child to lose out on five days a week so your child doesn't feel different. And on top of that you've framed the decision to send a child to school for five days a week as "not making sacrifices" based on your incredibly unscientific, anecdote-based, overly simplistic understanding of 'what they do in other countries'. The government doesn't get everything right, far from it, but there are benefits to children from five days a week schooling, it is not all some capitalist plot to allow neglectful parents to abandon their children.

Original poster

sandcastles1 · 20/09/2021 12:47

And as I keep saying - she is predominantly coping and is ready for school - she is streets ahead of other kids socially and linguistically. It is her helping other kids with problems and when they are sad and initiating a lot of the interaction between the children. The teachers have commented on this. Even when the time comes and she doesn't look sad as she goes in or says she wants to do a half day - I will query why we have a system that is 30 hours across 5 days - I don't think it is set up that way because it is best for the children but set up as it is the best system to enable parents to work. Why as a society have we done this and why do we continue to want it?

OP posts:

SpringRainbow · 20/09/2021 12:48

This is so different from the experiences I had when both my kids started school.

The majority of parents were horrified at the transition into school, they couldn’t believe the children were doing half days for so long. The school had to constantly explain to parents, both times, why they did the transition the way they did.

Most kids round here are in some form of childcare from around a year old. A lot of the nurseries around here operate from around 6am to 6pm and a lot of parents around my way are working full time by the time their children go to school, so their kids will be doing full time hours 5 days a week from quite young.

However, I wasn’t working full time when either of my kids started school, however they were still doing 8am to 5pm 3/ 4 days a week.

Both kids found it hard to understand why they weren’t having lunch at school on their first week. They were so used to having lunch with their friends on my work days, to go somewhere and not eat lunch was weird to them.

They both loved starting school, meeting their teachers, being with friends, playing in the classroom. After a couple of days I barely got a backwards glance.

My eldest still loves and needs school really, they are still petrified of schools closing again and losing his routine. Their routine is incredibly important to them, it always has been.

My youngest enjoys school, but can take it or leave it. They are quite chilled and easily adapt to whatever. They have always been like this.

fuzzymoomin · 20/09/2021 12:48

I totally agree with you. I started school at 7 (in another country) but was in preschool/nursery a few years before that - the school at 7 was more structured learning and I think those extra few years mean you are more ready for learning at age 7.
The big difference I see here is that while the learning isn't difficult at age 4, the kids are indoors and sitting at a desk most of the day which I don't think it's suitable for small kids. I was outdoors most of the day playing (and informally learning) at that age in all weathers.

SkinnyMirror · 20/09/2021 12:48

@sandcastles1

I haven't kept DC at home away from people - she has been to nursery, summer camp, spent time in care with other people, been doing classes and playing with other children. Your assumptions here are wrong.

Ah the irony 🙄

I guess I misunderstood your assumptions about working parents ......

ifoundthebread · 20/09/2021 12:49

@sandcastles1

I just think it stinks that the main reason is to enable people to work - a lot of people doing unnecessary hours to fill the 9-5 system we've created. I bet a lot of jobs could be covered in 3-4 days rather than 5. My DC was the happiest little girl up until two weeks ago when she started school and now she moans and is quite clingy. So many of the children look sad about going in. I think a lot of mums, including me (and dad's) are sad about leaving them - 5 days 9-3.30 just doesn't make sense to me in terms of well being - DC's, mine or dad's. I'd properly lobby the government to change - if I knew how - but a capitalist Tory government won't change it as they want us all in work buying sandwiches from Pret. It's rubbbish. I didn't think I'd feel like this - it's just witnessing the impact on DC and the emotions I'm experiencing has really made me sit up and wonder what it's all about. It's not natural really to be away from the people who care the most at such a young age. They need extra input and some education but why does the school now get to spend more time with my DC than I do. I want to show her how to skip, write and read - with support from others SOME of the time. Just frustrated and need to accept it I guess.

I guarantee you my job could not be done in 3-4 days instead of 5. My industry is struggling with staff only working 5 right now, mumsnet is complaining about the lack of staff in my industry right now, if your kids not ready then home school.

MarshaBradyo · 20/09/2021 12:50

@sandcastles1

And as I keep saying - she is predominantly coping and is ready for school - she is streets ahead of other kids socially and linguistically. It is her helping other kids with problems and when they are sad and initiating a lot of the interaction between the children. The teachers have commented on this. Even when the time comes and she doesn't look sad as she goes in or says she wants to do a half day - I will query why we have a system that is 30 hours across 5 days - I don't think it is set up that way because it is best for the children but set up as it is the best system to enable parents to work. Why as a society have we done this and why do we continue to want it?

Reading your posts is hard as it’s so me centred.

Dc are happy at school and pre school I don’t need the change you want.

aSofaNearYou · 20/09/2021 12:50

I don't think it is set up that way because it is best for the children but set up as it is the best system to enable parents to work. Why as a society have we done this and why do we continue to want it?

We don't want it, it's the state of the economy. Of course that's a factor. The world doesn't purely revolve around what is best for the children. Parents needing to work is the modern day reality.

Goldbar · 20/09/2021 12:51

@BoredZelda. I'm sure schools round here do their best but it's not really what I want for my DC. Sat inside most of the time and then break-time running around a small congested concrete yard with high levels of air pollution. Not much the schools can do about it though, but it's a poor continuation from the wonderful, mostly outdoors nursery my DC is at. Like I said, it's a question of resources...many schools don't have the space or resources to offer a healthy, active learning experience with plenty of outdoors time running around to the children. That doesn't make them bad schools - most are Ofsted good or outstanding.

SkinnyMirror · 20/09/2021 12:51

@sandcastles1

And as I keep saying - she is predominantly coping and is ready for school - she is streets ahead of other kids socially and linguistically. It is her helping other kids with problems and when they are sad and initiating a lot of the interaction between the children. The teachers have commented on this. Even when the time comes and she doesn't look sad as she goes in or says she wants to do a half day - I will query why we have a system that is 30 hours across 5 days - I don't think it is set up that way because it is best for the children but set up as it is the best system to enable parents to work. Why as a society have we done this and why do we continue to want it?

A couple of points.....

How you expect people to live if they can't work?

And

My experience is that schools are very much not set up for two working parents. There seems to be an assumption that there is someone at home or someone working very part time.

SkinnyMirror · 20/09/2021 12:52

I just think it stinks that the main reason is to enable people to work - a lot of people doing unnecessary hours to fill the 9-5 system we've created. I bet a lot of jobs could be covered in 3-4 days rather than 5

Simply not true.

TheVolturi · 20/09/2021 12:52

Do you know what, I actually agree with you op. My daughter has just started and she just seems too young. I know she'll get there because she's very bright etc and it will likely do her good but I do think age 5 would be better.

MarshaBradyo · 20/09/2021 12:53

My experience is that schools are very much not set up for two working parents.

I agree. You need to get a fair amount if childcare if both work ft.

GunsNShips · 20/09/2021 12:53

OP you have said a number of times that the school system is set up for working parents, not the children. But how does that make sense that I started school at 4, for a 6 hour day and this was 40 odd years ago when the number of two working parent families was much lower?

As far as I am aware nothing has change recently to make it easier for families where both parents work?

Goldbar · 20/09/2021 12:54

My experience is that schools are very much not set up for two working parents. There seems to be an assumption that there is someone at home or someone working very part time.

I agree entirely with this. State schools are very much not set up for families where both parents work. Private schools are often better (breakfast club, after-school care) but they still seem to expect high levels of parental involvement including attendance at school events during working hours.

SoftSheen · 20/09/2021 12:58

Both my children loved Reception. They did find the first term pretty exhausting though, and I wonder whether shorter days might have been a good idea.

worriedatthemoment · 20/09/2021 12:59

Also I love how op says many work could be done in 3 days not 5 , bet you still want to be able to go to tescos , 7 days a week and cafes etc to be open on your days off , and imagine if your builder took 4 weeks to complete your kitchen as they only worked 3 days a week, for many many jobs its not possible .

Legomania · 20/09/2021 12:59

@fuzzymoomin

I totally agree with you. I started school at 7 (in another country) but was in preschool/nursery a few years before that - the school at 7 was more structured learning and I think those extra few years mean you are more ready for learning at age 7. The big difference I see here is that while the learning isn't difficult at age 4, the kids are indoors and sitting at a desk most of the day which I don't think it's suitable for small kids. I was outdoors most of the day playing (and informally learning) at that age in all weathers.

Really? At my children's school they have a free flow indoor/outdoor space in Reception. There is about 40mins worth of sit and listen teaching (in chunks)for which they sit on the carpet.

worriedatthemoment · 20/09/2021 12:59

@TheVolturi but you don't have to legally send until 5 so its an option

JacMacO · 20/09/2021 13:00

@Megistotherium

My country doesn't start school until 6/7. But it doesn't mean the children stay at home. They have kindergarten from 4, and by the time they start school, they start proper formal learning. And in England, reception is not really formal, so is yr1, quite similar to kindergarten in my country, I think.

Yes, exactly. Reception is very much like nursery or kindergarten. There is a misunderstanding that children in other countries don't have any education until 6/7.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 20/09/2021 13:01

Are you interested in a negative side of the scandanavian system? When I use international activities for my guide unit I have to use the ones intended for Brownies because my guides arent very good at reading and writing.

My dc were in kindergarten from the age of 3-5. Then they went to preschool then reception to learn numbers and letters and now in first year they learn to read. Dd is the youngest and was 5.5 at the start of the school year (first class).