I feel so sorry for this little girl with an incompetent mother....

[Gameboy]

OK, so I actually don't know whether she is incompetent, disorganised, disengaged or what, but I feel so sorry for her daughter (7) who is DS1's Yr2 class.

I knew the Mum worked, so I always assumed things were rather frantic and busy, which might explain why:

• this girl often doesn't have her PE kit on the right day (has to wear her school uniform)
• is never dressed up/ down for book day/ mufti day/ red nose day etc
• is in after school club every day til 6 pm

but two things recently really made me feel sad:

1. The class had a trip out to a local museum - notes went out well in advance, reminders too, and yet, on the day, this little girl turned up without the right clothes, without a packed lunch, and without the £1 spending money suggested. The school office called her home and were apparently told that no-one could come to the school now to bring anything, and she'd have to share someone else's lunch or do without . Of course some of the Mum's helping out rallied round, and bought her a sandwich and drink and stuff from a shop on the way.

And then finally yesterday, they had a Yr 2 leavers sporting event after school, and she was the only one not there (without a reason such as prior engagement etc) - she was in the after school club, as usual.
Several of us said, that if only we'd known, we could have brought her/ returned her etc.

I have met her Mum just once at a parent social, and she seemed very normal and level-headed, not stressed, under pressure or anything (IYSWIM).
I'm pretty sure there isn't a nanny or au pair who could be 'dropping the balls', so
I just can't understand HOW anyone can be so out of touch with her daughter's life?

As I say, I just feel very sorry for her

what is mufti, pray tell?

cos round here its slang for vagina

Howdydoody - how do you know those were the EXACT words??? It's only hear-say at the end of the day.

What the mother could have said is "Is it possible you could sort something out, or she'll end up going without!" in a concerned kind of way.

Bloody Hell Peachy you are morphing into Cod...

Sounds rude

mufty is a day where they don't have to come in schooluniform but can come in their own clothes and put some money in to raise funds for whatever event

deff a name for vagina in my mind too

DP calls mine Tufty Mufti

well why is it called a mufti?

someones idea of a joke methinks

god how annoying

Why aren't you slagging off her FATHER? Why is all this the MOTHER'S fault?

actually i dont like non umiform days
we had them at pur school and i usd to sweat over what to wear - was alwya worried my clothes werent 'cool' enough and the 'cool' people would laugh at me
they shoudl be banned

it's from the army

please elaborate noodle

I normally keep away from threads like this, but you lot have got me really angry today.

gameboy was raising concerns about someone, rightly so by the sounds of it and you all jump on her taking it totally out of context.

Regardless of what you all think of the way it was put, she has concerns about this girl and simply wanted to talk about it, probably to avoid talking about it at the school gates and being gossipy. But to go on and on about her for being concerned, shame on the lot of you.

What is MN like these days?

How about a bit of support, a bit of a chat and a bit of laugh, you lot (and one of you in particular whose post I have asked MN to delete) should stay off threads like this if you're going to totally pick on someone just because they have concerns for a child.

Yes, we all drop the ball sometime, Gameboy has admitted she does too, but let's all get all proud that it might be us and gloat about how much of a beta mum we can be and start thinking about what is best for our children.

Mufti

Pronunciation: 'm&f-tE
Function: noun

ordinary dress as distinguished from that denoting an occupation or station ; especially : civilian clothes when worn by a person in the armed forces

I agree with MollyCoddle, maybe you could offer to help her out, maybe she works all the hours under the sun to be able to feed/suport her daughter, maybe she is a single mother and has to work to make ends meet.

Yes its sad that she does'nt have much time for her daughter but maybe she has no choice. Its easy to forget things (trips etc) when you work full time, i forget things all the time (forgot dd's doctors apointment last week).

blimey where did honeypuck come from?

Well I am not entriely sure but all I kow is that when they are out of uniform they are in mufti or civvies.

I bet it a word from the days of the Empire like "tiffin" etc

THANK YOU HOCKEYPUCK !!

oh shit dentist!

Next Friday I have to get ds3 to nursery, ds2 to a church service and ds1 on his school bus all at the same time. Which means that either ds3 or ds2 is going to be late/I do hope there are some people standing round to notice. I aslo haven't returned the form to school about the church service yet (was meant to be in a while ago) because I don't know how I'm going to manage it.

IN an hour or so I have to go and pick up ds2 from after school club, one of my tutors has just resigned (left today agh) so I am here with ds1 and ds3 wondering how I will manage it.

Do hope there are some people around to gossip. That will add to the fun.

HockeyPuck I would imagine that a lot of people, like me, read the OP and thought "Fuck, that sounds exactly like something I'd do"

And I'd absolutely HATE people to talk about it like that

I forget loads of stuff, but that doesn't make me an incompetent mother. It just makes me forgetful. Being forgetful isn't a crime. Who knows - maybe that mother arranged to take her DD out for a special dinner because she felt terrible about forgetting her a lunchbox?

Yes I am fairly out of touch with my children's lives to be blunt because I have about 10 pages of dull letters home every week and I often forget what they are doing when and where. It's not the end of the world.

"is in after school club every day til 6 pm"

In particular does not denote incompetence.

Unless the club closes at 5pm of course...

Have to say that if I had to remember PE kit as well every week DD1 would also be the only one without it. Luckily we get it handed back to us at half term and it's wasjed and then stays in the school.

DD1 has gone in in her own clothes on a non mufti day cos I got it wrong asnd also gone in wearing uniform on a mufti day!

If I dion't have fab parnts who are my heros DD1 would also be in after school club every day.

So what does all that mean?

It means I work, I am a bit scatty and organised in some areas but shit in others. I don't read things properly and so miss notes about mufti day sometimes.

Doesn't mean I don't adore my child and care for her very well in virtually every other area of her life. Doesn't mean I'm not doing my best.