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What if anything can I ask the school to do about this?

137 replies

SSSandy2 · 05/07/2007 13:04

Ok has been going on a while, my dd is very unhappy at school because of the behaviour of one boy who wanted to be her friend but she doesn't like him. Having experienced him myself I can understand why, he isn't pleasant to her and I don't like him myself.

Told dd to avoid him as much as possible. He doesn't allow dd to play with another girl she was friends with. If they played, he'd drag the other girl away, kick dd and call her names. Told teacher, teacher said that wasn't on and spoke to him. No change.

He tips water in dd's satchel, kicks, hurts, calls her names. Spoke to the teacher. She said she doesn't permit that kind of thing, dd should always tell her if something happens. She made dd tell him she wants him to leave her alone. Nothing changed.

Yesterday at school. He told this girl either she goes up to dd and calls her names or his mother won't buy the girl an icecream after school or take her to the fair. So girl comes up and starts calling dd names too. Dd very hurt and upset by this.

So what can I really expect the school to do about this boy, if anything? They know I want to change schools, that dd hates school now and the teacher has tried talking to him. Is there realistically anything the school can do? He now just waits until no teacher is around before he goes up to dd to say or do something mean.

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finknottle · 10/07/2007 10:08

Amazing the power of a good sleep, glad you're feeling better.
Have e-mailed Sandy, hope she's OK. Run-ins with schools can be v draining and upsetting.

SSSandy2 · 10/07/2007 10:50

Tis all not good at all ladies. I am keeping dd at home and so I am a bit limited in what I can do about things. However next week she goes to summer camp, so I will go and see a lawyer then and get some advice. Thanks for the support. Thank goodness the holidays are upon (or nearly) upon us! Boy if I had known all this lay ahead of me, I am sure I would never have chosen to have a dc at all!

Berolina, sorry to hear you had a bad time. I hope it wasn't due to worrying about schools. Read some nice escapist novel and enjoy the time you have before your baby is born. Hope everything goes well. I'll contact you when I have got myself more or less back to normal.

Didn't come on line yesterday because it was dh's birthday. Dd and I are having a peaceful time at home today but the school is a BIG problem for us unfortunately. In the end though, the worst they can do is kick us out and I think I can live with that.

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finknottle · 10/07/2007 11:16

Can imagine what went on & FWIW if that's the way they treat you & your dd, you don't want your dd to stay there. Hope she's enjoying her time off.

SSSandy2 · 10/07/2007 11:19

I sent you a mail finknottle! Have a lovely trip and thanks for your help!

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admylin · 10/07/2007 11:35

SSSandy, we broke up from school today so it's all over for 2 months, thank goodness. You should have seen ds's class - half of them came out crying because they had bad reports (ds was top of the class and the only one with a good report, phew) I got no book list, no letter to say what I have to buy and she even wrote on the bottom of the report how many days he'd been off - 11, and next to it how many days off without a note - 11. I was mad because I always wrote a note and even went to her myself whenever he was off. I want it changed anyway so now I have to wait 2 months before I can say anything.
You know I was looking on the spanish europaschule website and it's a heck of a lot more organised than ours. Would that be your nearest school? Maybe the German class (not the bilingual one) would be worth a try rather than sending her back to the old school?

finknottle · 10/07/2007 12:28

Mailed you back and am now off to pack. Never felt so relieved at the end of the school year before.

admylin · 10/07/2007 12:30

Have a nice holiday finknottle

berolina · 10/07/2007 12:31

I'm sorry it was clearly not good, Sandy. At least the holidays are here to help you get your case sorted. Get in touch whenever you're ready.

SSSandy2 · 10/07/2007 12:59

You're a brick, finknottle, thanks for the lovely email. Will do as you suggested, it's very sensible advice.

Admylin I suppose the school will mail us dd's end of year report then, presumably along with a nasty note, so shall watch out for that with great anticipation - not. Isn't it awful for primary school dc to be crying about their reports? Can't honestly say I ever saw any of mine or troubled in the least about them at that age.

The Jean MIro has quite a bad reputation for bullying, both the Spanish and the German stream. Dc are often moved out to diff schools because of it. The Spanish and Latin Americans I know have told me it is quite well known and they wouldn't contemplate sending their dc there. Wonder why it's like that though? I have a suspician now that things happen and are just not nipped in the bud, spread from year to year and then lo and behold you have a "bad" school and everyone is stupefied wondering how it came about.

Someone told me there is a Waldorf on Bundesallee which I had never heard of. Not keen on Waldorf/Steiner either really Berolina, perhaps unfairly so I don't know.

I think a non-German private of some type is the only option for us really. I heard somewhere there is a Scandinavian school, there's the French one and then a private Russian school. Think we might have to try to get as non-German as we can afford really, sad to say, since we are obviously not up to dealing with the German ones.

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admylin · 10/07/2007 13:04

That just shows, you can't go by the web site. The spanish school sounded so good as compared to ours. We have no bullying problems in the school afaik.
Did you visit the nelson mandal school? They also have a good web site. I thought that would be an alternative for ds as he could maybe join in class 5 if we're still here.

SSSandy2 · 10/07/2007 13:30

yes I've been there (primary site) but it isn't what I want for dd I'm afraid. The secondary school is located somewhere else so that may be worth looking into. Def go in and look on a school-day and mosey about a bit when you're back in Berlin.

Glad to hear the reports were good. Are you out celebrating this afternoon then?

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SSSandy2 · 11/07/2007 10:48

well thank goodness this school year is over. Got dd's first report today (just text no grades). I find it really cold and I don't think dd comes through in it at all. I'm just wondering whether that's usual. There is some criticism of her handwriting which I find justified but otherwise I find it sounds a bit unpleasant. I'm wondering if that just reflects problems with the teacher

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