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What if anything can I ask the school to do about this?

137 replies

SSSandy2 · 05/07/2007 13:04

Ok has been going on a while, my dd is very unhappy at school because of the behaviour of one boy who wanted to be her friend but she doesn't like him. Having experienced him myself I can understand why, he isn't pleasant to her and I don't like him myself.

Told dd to avoid him as much as possible. He doesn't allow dd to play with another girl she was friends with. If they played, he'd drag the other girl away, kick dd and call her names. Told teacher, teacher said that wasn't on and spoke to him. No change.

He tips water in dd's satchel, kicks, hurts, calls her names. Spoke to the teacher. She said she doesn't permit that kind of thing, dd should always tell her if something happens. She made dd tell him she wants him to leave her alone. Nothing changed.

Yesterday at school. He told this girl either she goes up to dd and calls her names or his mother won't buy the girl an icecream after school or take her to the fair. So girl comes up and starts calling dd names too. Dd very hurt and upset by this.

So what can I really expect the school to do about this boy, if anything? They know I want to change schools, that dd hates school now and the teacher has tried talking to him. Is there realistically anything the school can do? He now just waits until no teacher is around before he goes up to dd to say or do something mean.

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admylin · 08/07/2007 13:37

I'm going to have to go and think of somethingto do with the dc, they are getting fed up (I've had them tidying their room - everything put away before we go on holiday!) dh has escaped to work as usual, atleast it isn't raining. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, go and make them sort it out!

SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 13:38

It's a bit far but seeing as it isn't raining, the Deutsch-Französische Volksfest?

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admylin · 08/07/2007 13:44

Is that not near kurt shumacher platz? Read about that and thought I might go but ds doen't fancy it, always my problem, one wants to go one place and the other wants to stay home or go elsewhere. Can't wait 'til they are old enough to be left and I can just get on with it!

SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 13:45

maybe then you'll have baby number 3! I'm going to tackle my great mound of ironing and hopefully not burn my arm this time. I have a series of half moon shaped burns on my right arm at the moment!

Enjoy your sunday then

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finknottle · 08/07/2007 19:14

Sandy, I can imagine you're dreading the meeting & if you're feeling emotional - as I would - then perhaps it would be better to postpone it till you could arrange for someone to accompany you. If your dh can arrange to, so much the better; you need to present a united front.
In case they think you're wimping out or are going to just forget it all, tell them on the phone you need time to (grammar all over the place):
"mich erkuendigen ueber (?) die richtige Vorgehungsweise, bezueglich des Schueltraegers beziehungsweise des Schulamts"
You can't leave this if it's affecting your daughter so much
She sounds like a rotten teacher. You should at least get the opportunity to point out that bullying is unacceptable. Is there anything online from the Education Ministry? Would at least give you some vocab.

admylin · 09/07/2007 09:26

Morning, Sandy. How did it go? I was thinking about you at 7:30 this morning as I was getting the kids ready for school. If you went, I hope it was OK.

finknottle · 09/07/2007 09:36

Me too.
Hi admylin

admylin · 09/07/2007 09:48

hi finknottle, pouring down again here, forcast to stay like this 'til Friday then we're out of here, going to get a bit of British rain instead!

finknottle · 09/07/2007 09:51

We're going Wednesday. Never known such a bad summer here - seems to be constantly overcast or raining.
Half expect it in England so it won't be as bad

admylin · 09/07/2007 09:56

How long are you going for? We've got 5 and a half weeks! Asda/tesco here I come, oh and any clothes shops that lie in my path!

finknottle · 09/07/2007 10:09

Only 2 - but tbh it's enough. Not that we don't all enjoy it but because the hols are 6 weeks here, we're away the last week too & I want us all to have a loooong stretch in the middle.
We've had summer hols where I was with eth echildren in the UK for 2 wks, we were all away with dh for 2 wks and then it was time to buy the school books and back to school we go. Seemed to have no real break at all.

admylin · 09/07/2007 10:16

Yes, I know what you mean. This year I'm ordering all their text books from the lists online and I'll get the other stuff on the last weekend. Atleast we don't have to run about getting uniforms!

finknottle · 09/07/2007 10:21

True about uniforms. What I find annoying is having to name every single pencil, felt tip, colouring pencil etc. Takes hours.
I've ordered the books from Amazon the last couple of years. Ds1 is starting secondary next term & his book list alone is over 200 euros.

admylin · 09/07/2007 10:24

OMG, 200 we get away with about 60 at the moment (each) and can't even hand ds's down to dd as their teachers get to decide which books they want to use and they vary from year to year within the school, talk about inconsistent.

finknottle · 09/07/2007 10:27

Do you also have to buy glue (stick and liquid), special brand pencils at 1 euro a pop, chalk crayons which cost about 10 euros per child and they use twice max, and only certain brands of colouring pencils and fine-liners will do? We seem to have several half-sets of felt tips and pencils left every summer.
Glad dd isn't starting next term.
Gosh I'm grumpy considering it's the first day of the hols

admylin · 09/07/2007 10:33

In south Germany we had to buy the exact make of pencil, crayon etc but this school in Berlin dooesn't seem bothered not even a reccomendation for which pen they should have.
I hate those plastic covers we have to buy in all different colours, they are so not umweltfreundlich!

finknottle · 09/07/2007 10:39

Am determined to buy at least 3 of each exercise book from now on - most have about 16 pages and many an afternoon here started, "Mum, I need a new maths/essay/German book to do my homework" - almost invariably on days I'd been in the village and could easily have bought them...
Instead of wittering on about next term I should be sorting out the mounds of last term's books which are cluttering up my study.

admylin · 09/07/2007 10:46

Wonder what's keeping Sandy? She's maybe giving the school a real policy make over.

finknottle · 09/07/2007 10:56

Do you know at what time the meeting was?

admylin · 09/07/2007 11:00

She just said Monday morning so I assumed it would be first thing. Should be over now, maybe she's out celebrating, hope so.

finknottle · 09/07/2007 11:24

I had no idea her dd was going through all this, it's horrendous. All my worries about ds1's learning difficulties & about the bilingualism & general gripes about the school system here seem so trivial by comparison. Still can't get my head around her teacher's reaction.

berolina · 09/07/2007 11:26

Hope it went well, sandy!

We do have a name but I'm one of those tedious people Keeping It a Secret Until the Birth

Had a dreadful day and night yesterday, feeling a bit like I was having a mini-nervous breakdown and this morning went to my Frauenärztin and have been signed off with exhaustion and anaemia Baby is fine, though. Need to sleep but I can't right now.

finknottle · 09/07/2007 11:31

Hi berolina - hope you're feeling better When you said you were signed off, are you still working? When's the baby due?
I was also tedious about names, nothing worse than the "Ohhhh" and often rude comments you get if you tell people what you're thinking of. Found that out with ds1. Once the baby's born, no one dare be rude about the name to your face

finknottle · 09/07/2007 11:48

Just seen, 10 more weeks and a second boy! Our boys are 2 years apart & still v close.
Must get off MN & do something else tho' have been painting the children's faces in between posts. On the watched pot principle, I'll stop waiting for Sandy and come back later.

berolina · 10/07/2007 08:56

Wot no Sandy?

fink - I've got 4 more weeks at work incl this one, then statutory mat leave takes over.

Am feeling a little better, after a long sleep yesterday afternoon - goodness, I was shattered.

I know what you mean about name comments - especially because the name we've picked is (lovely but also) quite gewöhnungsbedürftig...