How to deal with item being stolen from DS ar school?

[LMonkey]

We gave DS a smart watch which cost £35 for his 6th birthday a week ago. We forbade him from taking it to school as obviously its too good a toy to risk losing. He was caught out trying to sneak it in to school one day. The next day he successfully sneaked it in to school but the teacher, knowing that he wasn't meant to have it (as he'd seen us take it off him the day before) quite rightly took it and kept it on his desk all day. He gave it back to DS at the end of the day. DS says he put it in his book bag, however by the time he had come out to me (right outside the classroom) it was not in there. We went back in, looked around with the teacher, no luck. The teacher posted a message to all the parents on the online journal that evening to ask the parents to "ask the children if they had seen the watch". He also asked the children about it next day in class. Still nothing.

How do you think I should deal with this from now? The teacher said that he had done all he could, and I accepted that initially, but now what is bothering me is that one of my son's classmates has taken the watch, either stolen it or maybe hidden it, and it's not being dealt with?? It's definitely one of the kids in his class. Surely it can't just be forgotten about so that the kid who took it thinks he can just take stuff and get away with it?

I do realise its 6 year olds I'm talking about here but surely it needs to be addressed!

Incidentally, my mum felt the same when someone took my first tooth off the 'show and tell' table. She wanted to keep it and was ready to conduct a bag search herself! Thankfully my teacher explained that wasn't going to happen.

That is so sad!! I don't blame your mum at all for feeling that way

The reason school discourage children from being these items into school is because sometimes the temptation is too much for a six year old and in all likelihood the school don't want to have to waste their time investigating and dealing with theft. There should be a consequence it a child was found to have stolen it but since that isn't the case the school can't be expected to waste more of their or the children's (the vast majority of whom certainly haven't stolen the watch) time on it.

You can't equate a six year old being unable to resist the temptation of stealing an exciting looking toy with an adult raping someone. A six year old has much less self control than an adult - their ability to resist temptation is much less developed and they're more impulsive in general (which is why your DS took it in in the first place). Also stealing a toy is much less damaging than rape and is not violent! It's a ridiculous comparison to make.

It's annoying that the watch was stolen but all you and DS can do is learn a lesson and not repeat the same mistake.

HolesinTheSoles noted, the school can't waste time investigating the loss of a watch.

Yes I agree it is an extreme comparison to make and of course a 6 year old stealing does not in any way equate to an act of violence such as rape. The point was (and I feel I am repeating myself for the 20th time here) that a previous poster claimed that a child who steals should in no way be held accountable or is to blame for stealing something as its is only the fault of the child who brought it in. Apparently if somethings on display its there for the taking.

Holesinthesoles but nothing has been stolen here the OPs child lost his own watch

lmonkey for the 20th time you have no proof that the watch was srolen AT ALL

you keep saying this thread is going round in cirles and your repeating yourself

The reason its going round in cirles is you keep insisting it was stolen and the school should deal with the child you have a problem with

And we keep repeating ourselves THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THE WATCH WAS STOLEN. and it is your son who should face the cojquemces for loosing the damn thing

NaughtToThreeSadOnions

Do you not think that if it was not stolen, only lost, fell out of the bag or something then it would have been found by now?

There is no way you can rationalise your accusation that someone is a rape apologist because they disagree with you. Trying to do so makes you look even more foolish for saying it in the first place.

Perfectly so you have never lost something that didn’t turn up ever ?

*Trying to do so makes you look even more foolish for saying it in the first place.

I don't know why you are trying to make OP feel bad. It was obvious what she meant. If a child stole the watch, it can't be the fault of the child who has brought it in. The child who stole it has done wrong.

so you have never lost something that didn’t turn up ever ?

Outside, yes. In my home or in a building I visit regularly, no I don't think so. My experience of school is that when things like this go missing out of a bookbag, they have been stolen, unfortunately.

FamilyOfAliens "a rape apologist" - oh my god. Actually no I wasn't suggesting they are a "rape apologist". Still can't quite grasp the principle can you. Never mind.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions I'm not insisting it has been stolen just that it's likely. And the topic has moved on since then to whether if a child d has stolen it, how there should be consequences.

Well it clewrly hasnt because YOU are still repeating yourself that its veen stolen, you said that in your last post.

Its likely its not been stolen. But no thats not good enough for you. You want to insist it has veen stolen and repeat yourself ten million times. But hay you've repeated yourself 20 in the last 24 hours. So to get to ten million you've only got 9,999,980 times of telling us it was stolen and us repeating it was lost the school can do nothing and the responsablity lies with your son, the good thing is its only going to take 499,999 days for you to reach repeating yourself 10,000,000 times so you might have had enough in 3 years.

Basically yes this thread is going round in cirlces because you seem to think that we're all going to agree with you if you repeat yourself ten million times. No all thats going to happen is we're going to repeat our selves and go it wasnt stolen your son lost it ... deal with it with your son and stop repeating yourself

"I was using those examples for a poster who said it is 100% the fault of the child who brought in the watch, suggesting that if a child did steal the watch they shouldn't be blamed. "

To be clear, I never said child who stole the watch( if they did) shouldn't be blamed. It's a totally different matter. I said your ds losing a watch is 100% your ds's fault, that it wouldn't happen if he didn't take it to school.
Please don't twist what I said.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions you're now blatantly just being a total a*hole

I'm done here but thanks to those who were understanding and actually showed understanding of the point I was getting at

No OP i was trying to point out that ylthe reason this thread was going round in circles was YOU KEEP REPEATING YOURSELF that the watch was stolen, to which we were repeating ourselves that no not neccesarrily the way to handle it was with your kid, dealing with his respect for yours and school rules, but you didnt want to hear that you wanted to hear ohhhhj yes its been stolen evil 6 year old. And repeated yourself by your own admission 20 times in 24 hours.

If you repeat yourself 20 times in 24 hoursand people still disagree with you theres a hint in that.

I was being partly sarcastic partly actally wondering if you were going to carry this thread on for the full 3 years. Because you seemed very determined to repeat yourself adnausim despite being repeated too adnausim thst there was no evidence the damn thing was stolen and to let it go.

I'm not insisting it has been stolen just that it's likely.

What makes you think that it being stolen, is more likely than being dropped/misplaced OP?

No imperfect i dont, when i was a similar age i took a little rose gold elephant i got from.turkey in to school. I lost it. 100% i lost it. No one stole it. It just wasnt where i thought i put it. Every single child helped look for it. Guess what it was never found.

My own stupid fault, my mum warned me not to take it. I was deverstated it was special. The hotel manager had given it to me. But lesson learnt.

Guess what my mum didnt do, go on for a whole sodding 24 hours insisting repeatedly that it must have bern stolen, refusing to listen to any one who said nope lost not stolen you have no proof, things get misslaid especially in the hussle and bussle of home time very sorry affaid its a difficult lesson but a lesson for your son no one else.

But no no OP has gone on repeatedly it was stolen, the teacher shpuld speak sternly to the kids, its definayely a kid in his class, oh then there was this massive theres one kid inparticalar i have a problem with, its been stolen its been stolen its been stolen.

Any one who went nope its 99% more likely its been put in the wrong bag/dropped out of the bag/your son gave it away as a present (6year olds do this) op got irate and went IM REPEATING MYSELF IT WAS STOLEN. 20 Times she repeated herself by her own admission and was getting irate cos the thread was going round in cirlces - YES COS SHE KEPT SODDING REPEATING HERSELF and not listening to anyone else.

All I think you can do at this point, is to speak to the teacher again and ask if he would consider sending one more message to the parents asking them to double check it hasn’t come home accidentally.
You could also ask the teacher to speak to the children again and ask for anyone to come forward if they know anything.
Other than that, I can’t see what else you can do.
I’m a teacher and I’ve had to deal with numerous incidents like this over the years. I once had a very much loved electronic item go missing which we never got to the bottom of (bugs me to this day!) and I’ve also had a personal item turn up months later... it had been thrown across the class and gone behind one of the units. Absolutely no idea how that happened.
I always talk to the whole class about
looking after our personal possessions and not taking or touching anyone else’s. I usually offer an anonymous drop box for items to be returned if they have been ‘accidentally’ taken.
I think that’s about the best you can do really.

I was a couple of years older than the OP's DS when I lost a bracelet I got for my birthday at school. I don't know what happened to it, but I learnt a valuable lesson.

And life went on.

Perfectly1mperfect So anything lost at school has to have been stolen . Oh well I hope the fuckers who stole DS homework out his book bag will return it one day. Also all the pencils, rubbers , calculators , hair clips, lip balms all stolen cause no one loses anything at school. I guess my DD whose necklace must have fallen off in the playground she didn’t lose it . Cause if she lost it it would have turned up already . No it was stolen by all those evil little children at their school. Does that make sense to you

My daughter is forever bringing home bits and pieces like hair clips/headbands/beads etc that belong to her friends. She asks to borrow/keep it, they say yes and when I find it I send it back in.

My daughter isn't stealing and in her mind it was a fair deal (and I guess her friends too if they handed it over). Perhaps your son either lent it to his friend or mistakenly dropped it when putting it in his bag. If he dropped it there's every chance that a child from another class found it and picked it up, hopefully it will make it's way back in to class.

I do hope he gets it back, I don't see what else you can expect the school to do? I would not be replacing the item for my child in this case and if they wanted a new one they would have to earn the money doing chores in order to get a new one. For the time being I would just have to consider it a lesson learned.

MutedUser

Unfortunately I think many 'attractive' items do get stolen. So no, not homework or hair clips etc. But yes to things like toys and watches. Anyway, I think OP has gone so no point in going on anymore about it anymore.

OK OP, so no one disagrees that if another child has stolen something belonging to your DS, there should be consequences. We all also agree with each other that THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT A THEFT TOOK PLACE so banging onasking over and over again what should be done about the theft is weird. You may as well start a thread asking about consequences for sexual assault or 'what to do if someone spat at DS' at school? None of these happened so why would you keep banging on asking about consequences?

Oops, strikethrough fail....but you can figure it out.

Solly that was what i was trying to say only i was more sarcastic