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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

How to deal with item being stolen from DS ar school?

179 replies

LMonkey · 16/12/2018 15:31

We gave DS a smart watch which cost £35 for his 6th birthday a week ago. We forbade him from taking it to school as obviously its too good a toy to risk losing. He was caught out trying to sneak it in to school one day. The next day he successfully sneaked it in to school but the teacher, knowing that he wasn't meant to have it (as he'd seen us take it off him the day before) quite rightly took it and kept it on his desk all day. He gave it back to DS at the end of the day. DS says he put it in his book bag, however by the time he had come out to me (right outside the classroom) it was not in there. We went back in, looked around with the teacher, no luck. The teacher posted a message to all the parents on the online journal that evening to ask the parents to "ask the children if they had seen the watch". He also asked the children about it next day in class. Still nothing.

How do you think I should deal with this from now? The teacher said that he had done all he could, and I accepted that initially, but now what is bothering me is that one of my son's classmates has taken the watch, either stolen it or maybe hidden it, and it's not being dealt with?? It's definitely one of the kids in his class. Surely it can't just be forgotten about so that the kid who took it thinks he can just take stuff and get away with it?

I do realise its 6 year olds I'm talking about here but surely it needs to be addressed!

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Original poster

LMonkey · 16/12/2018 23:23

It's not an iPhone it's a kids watch with games on etc. It's actually not against the rules to take these things in to school (but I accept at own risk). I wish it was banned as it's only since his friends started bringing toys in that DS has started trying to.

Irvine if you have kids then I seriously worry about the values you are instilling in them if your approach is 'if it's there it's ok to take it'

OP posts:

user789653241 · 16/12/2018 23:28

Ok, you now started to insult me with horrible comment. I just stated what I thought, that's all. How dare you.

Original poster

LMonkey · 16/12/2018 23:33

I actually didn't say it for the purpose of offending you. But can't you see my point? It just baffles me beyond belief that anyone could ever say it's 100%the fault of the person it gets stolen from.

OP posts:

user789653241 · 16/12/2018 23:36

My approach is more like, " are you ok if it gets damaged or lost if you take it to school?" when my ds wants to take something valuable to him to school for things like sharing/show and tell.
Our school's policy is clear, no valuable items to be taken into school.

perfectly1mperfect · 16/12/2018 23:39

I know it's not an iPhone. My point was that a child shouldn't have anything stolen that they take to school. By age 6 I think most kids are able to control themselves to not just take things. If they steal they should be punished, although in this case I don't know how the school would find out who did it.

MutedUser · 16/12/2018 23:44

L monkey I have nothing but sympathy for people who get stuff stolen off them. But nothing in any of your posts suggests to me that this watch was stolen. If your son seen someone go into his bag then totally different . But he did not. He has dropped it or misplaced it and seem to want to place the blame on someone else . I had a bracket on one day at work and placed it on the table in the staff room and when I went to get it it wasn’t there. Did I think someone stole it no . I thought it had been knocked into the bin or thrown out with the rubbish by mistake. Must be horrible to see the worst in people with no evidence at all. Plus you obviously have a problem with one of the two children you claimed had access to the book bag and could have taken it. Wow just wow .

giftsonthebrain · 16/12/2018 23:50

i don't know how many times i've heard stories of "where are my keys? i left them right here on the counter. someone must have touched them" only to find them in the ignition or the door. or people swearing someone took their wallet out of their purse only to find the wallet next to the lap top from their last online shop. i too feel it's more likely that the watch has not been stolen and is more likely temporarily lost.
can you not track the smart watch?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 17/12/2018 00:00

NaughtothreeI accept a child may not have stolen it! I accept it could have just been lost. However given the circumstances the likelihood is that a child has taken it

How is it likeky given the circamstances that its been taken? Actally given the circamstances you've described the likeliness is it HAS NOT BEEN TAKEN in fact given the circamstances its a PHYSICAL IMP9SABLITY it was taken.

Yes this thread is going round in circles because you only want to belive its been stolen.

Explain to me please how if the teachdr saw your son put in his bag, just before bringing your son out to you, which suggests that both your son and the said book bag were acconanied by the teacher at all times between him putting it in tje bag and you discovering it wasnt there. How did neither your son or the teacher notice another child going through your sons book bag?????????

user789653241 · 17/12/2018 00:00

perfectly, my approach is different. It's not as expensive as iPhone, but my ds had some stationery stolen. My comment to ds was either don't take it if you don't want to lose it or forget about it.
I do hope most 6 years old are capable of controlling themselves. But are they? I don't find it pleasant if my ds has lost something, but certainly I don't blame teacher or school, or I don't want to make the child feel bad for stealing it for whatever reason. That's not my job. If the child have decent parents, they do get that from their own parents. If they don't, that's sad, but it's not my place to ask them to be punished.

brizzledrizzle · 17/12/2018 00:01

He doesn't learn that his stuff isn't valued because he knows that, if he valued it he wouldn't have tried taking it to school.

TheClitterati · 17/12/2018 00:05

Child breaks parents rules.

Child breaks schools rules.
Child experiences consequences.

perfectly1mperfect · 17/12/2018 00:13

irvineoneohone

My daughters primary doesn't allow kids to take things in apart from stationery. I actually tell my daughter not to take special pens, pencils etc to school because a few kids in the class do deliberately break things or steal them. She's 9. I would expect children who steal or ruin others property to be punished. Even if they don't get good morals from home, they all know the school rules. I do tell my daughter that some children may not have nice things or parents that teach them right and wrong so they may steal them, just so that she understands. I still think the school should punish if they do it though, the same as school should praise good behaviour as how will they learn.

Original poster

LMonkey · 17/12/2018 00:18

Actually there is an issue with one of the two children who were sitting next to him.

I don't only want to believe it was stolen. But I do have an issue with people not acknowledging that it is of course a possibility.

It is not a physical impossibility at all, do I really have to repeat myself again??! There was a period of time between being given the watch back and coming out of the classroom. They were reading, looking on ipads etc whilst waiting for the parents to turn up. He could have easily been distracted. We looked around the classroom. Not there. Hmmmm. Not impossible for someone to have taken it at all. I am not BLAMING the teacher or school for this happening.

OP posts:

Original poster

LMonkey · 17/12/2018 00:22

Child breaks parents rules.
Child breaks schools rules.
Child experiences consequences

Already been said, already been acknowledged, are you another person who is failing to see that if a child has stolen it it's wrong?

OP posts:

sollyfromsurrey · 17/12/2018 00:22

OP you seem bizarrely focussed on a presumed thief being severely punished and not getting away with stealing the watch. You have no way of knowing the watch was stolen. Your son is 6. 6 year olds are random. They think things that aren't true, they make stuff up, they get confused, they lie and act disobediently (as demonstrated by your son) and they do things then immediately afterwards forget they did it. All you know is the watch has gone. That's literally all you know. You have filled in the gaps with a scenario that involves demonising another child. You are WAY too quick to presume it was stolen and WAY too focused on retribution.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/12/2018 00:34

Addressed by perhaps having a slightly sterner word with the class? Asking them to check their bags there and then? Finding a way of letting the teacher know anonymously if they took it, where it is. Giving the class a talk about respecting people's property. Offering points if someone finds it.

You want a lot OP. Teachers would have no time to teach if they did this every time a child's toy went missing.

I'm sorry about your son's watch. You have to let it go and not make it a bigger issue for your son. Hopefully it will turn up.

MutedUser · 17/12/2018 00:35

I agree with the poster up above you have filled in the gaps with the child you admitted you have issues with . I feel really sorry for that child getting accused of stealing cause you have a problem with them . Shameful .

MutedUser · 17/12/2018 00:37

Also OP you say that you don’t only want to believe it was stolen ? How bizarre then that you title the thread how to deal with item being stolen from DS as though it was a fact .

user789653241 · 17/12/2018 00:39

Op, it's laughable you never intended to offend me. You said I am the kind of person who blame the rape victim.

Original poster

LMonkey · 17/12/2018 08:14

It's just getting stupid now. I haven't accused anyone of stealing. I have not focused the blame on one child. It's not me who has a problem with that one child, this particular child seems to have had a dislike for ds and that has caused problems a while back. None of the school know anything about my thoughts. True, I shouldn't have put the word 'stolen' in the title. I've never been great at summarising things for the sake of the title.

irvine I was merely pointing out that its actually the same principle. Yet again you fail to recognise the point I'm making.

OP posts:

Original poster

LMonkey · 17/12/2018 08:16

It's laughable that you think it is 100% a child's fault if something gets stolen from them. Do think about that for a while.

OP posts:

Noviceoftheweek · 17/12/2018 08:17

A watch with games? I’ve heard it all now. Can’t be good for a small child. Ridiculous gift.

Helix1244 · 17/12/2018 08:18

The fact he doesnt have it is 100% your ds. As less likely anything happen at home than with 29 other kids.
However i don't consider £35 expensive and am surprised the teacher would help (mainly as our logo tops are £16 each).
From this and other threads clearly some kids do need consequences over stealing.
But if you cannot stop him taking it in a watch despite telling then catching etc etc how can other parents prevent their willful disobedient kids knicking stuff? Im not sure that they at 6 should have a strict consequence when another dc ignored a direct instruction twice. And their only punishment is the loss of the item.
I do agree the fact it's impossible to trace stuff at school is a huge issue.
The unlabelled stuff to wade through.
My dc is a master at an innocent face and would likely have taken the watch herself out of the bag knowing you wouldnt let them bring it in again.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 17/12/2018 08:29

Hello OP, I agree this hard.

Is there any possibility your DS put it in a different book bag by mistake? It would be easily done as they are all the same.

Obviously if it was found in there then you'd think a parent would return it but it's amazing how often parents don't look in book bags.

Then you have to consider the parent who will just keep it.

Obviously another child COULD have taken it but in all honesty you can't say that this is definitely what happened.

Your poor DS though...it's a life lesson but a horrible one. I'd be tempted to replace it knowimg that he is now sadly wiser.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 17/12/2018 08:31

Novice your post is horrible

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