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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

How to deal with item being stolen from DS ar school?

179 replies

LMonkey · 16/12/2018 15:31

We gave DS a smart watch which cost £35 for his 6th birthday a week ago. We forbade him from taking it to school as obviously its too good a toy to risk losing. He was caught out trying to sneak it in to school one day. The next day he successfully sneaked it in to school but the teacher, knowing that he wasn't meant to have it (as he'd seen us take it off him the day before) quite rightly took it and kept it on his desk all day. He gave it back to DS at the end of the day. DS says he put it in his book bag, however by the time he had come out to me (right outside the classroom) it was not in there. We went back in, looked around with the teacher, no luck. The teacher posted a message to all the parents on the online journal that evening to ask the parents to "ask the children if they had seen the watch". He also asked the children about it next day in class. Still nothing.

How do you think I should deal with this from now? The teacher said that he had done all he could, and I accepted that initially, but now what is bothering me is that one of my son's classmates has taken the watch, either stolen it or maybe hidden it, and it's not being dealt with?? It's definitely one of the kids in his class. Surely it can't just be forgotten about so that the kid who took it thinks he can just take stuff and get away with it?

I do realise its 6 year olds I'm talking about here but surely it needs to be addressed!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

perfectly1mperfect · 16/12/2018 19:32

I do think it has likely been stolen. The teacher will probably know which children would be capable of this but I really don't think there's a lot that the school can do without any evidence. I suppose this is why schools say don't bring things like this in. I just hope that the school would do more to punish the child involved if it was school property that they had stolen, otherwise like you say, the children learn that stealing has no consequences.

It may still turn up if a parent notices their child with it at home.

AJPTaylor · 16/12/2018 19:34

It might still turn up.
Magpie child may well have ferreted it away somewhere? Parent may well find it over the hols.

user789653241 · 16/12/2018 19:47

Why do the teacher needs to have sterner words or check children's bags if you believe no one has stolen it? It is very unlikely it will get into someone's bag, rather than falling on the floor, if no one has stolen it.

The truth is, your son has taken something that's not allowed to bring it into school. If it was lost or stolen, you can blame anyone but your ds.

JennyBlueWren · 16/12/2018 20:36

If it had been noticed missing before the end of the day then checking the children's bags may have been worthwhile. But you said it was only noticed missing when you collected your child. By which point the children would have been collected (or in the playground) so couldn't check bags.

Depending on the school and age (6 years old is probably safe enough) there can be issues around checking children's bags -I remember being told we weren't allowed to check them unless management gave us permission and parents were called in etc.

How stern a talk were the children given? How stern can it get? What if there are children who will cry thinking they are being accused (even though no one would have suspected them) and so parents write in letters of complaint against the teacher for accusing their child by having a stern talk with the whole class. (This is not at all unrealistic in my experience!)

Also the time to do this specifically for this one incident isn't really warrented. If someone has stolen it should it be a whole class matter? What do you not teach instead? If PSHE then would it be instead of discussing friendship issues or something?

Petalflowers · 16/12/2018 20:41

The teacher has contacted on the parents, so hopefully if a parent finds it in their son/daughter bag, they will return it to you.

There’s nothing else you can do. Dc shouldn’t have taken it tomschool, and now faces the consequences of loosing it.

SD1978 · 16/12/2018 21:01

The teacher has done everything he can. He kept it all day, and between the very short time of handing back and getting to you, he'd lost it. The lesson is his to learn, not something for you to persue. Don't take things to school unless they have to be there.

NewName54321 · 16/12/2018 21:03

If the watch definitely went in his bag, then the chances of another child taking it and none of the other 28 noticing and telling the teacher at the time is very low, especially as the watch appears to have been on the teacher's desk (so could more easily have been taken then) all day.

More likely is the child has moved it and forgotten, or has hidden it himself so it can't be taken off him.

Have you checked his pockets and his classroom tray?

RavenWings · 16/12/2018 21:20

I think the teacher in this case has to take partial blame because he'd removed in the first place and not put it back where he'd taken it from. Something for teachers to consider in future perhaps?

It was removed from the child, it was then given back to the child. It was returned to the rightful owner.

You are making yourself sound exactly like one of those pain in the arses that teachers laugh at. God forbid your child lose one of his belongings, oh no - it must be blamed on someone else.

sackrifice · 16/12/2018 21:56

If it has been taken what does it teach the child who took it if it just gets forgotten about?

It is your kid who needs the lesson, for taking it in in the first place!

Original poster

LMonkey · 16/12/2018 22:36

It is your kid who needs the lesson, for taking it in in the first place!

Yet another pointless comment from you. I have already addressed this. Ultimately he has learned his lesson hasn't he, I would say that it quite clear from the fact that he has lost a birthday present 2 days after getting it. Not once have I said that my son is blameless.

So if a child stole it they dont need to learn a lesson? Are you actually saying it's the fault of the child it gets stolen from and not the child who steals it? Is it ok to steal? If you left your bag open next to you would it be ok for someone to steal your purse? If you forgot to lock your door that would be pretty stupid but would it then be justiable and OK for someone to come in and steal your stuff?

OP posts:

user789653241 · 16/12/2018 22:42

In this case, yes, it's the fault of the child who gets stolen. You are not meant to bring valuable stuff to school. It can get damaged, lost or stolen. It's your child's fault, 100%.

I am not saying it's ok to steal someone's property. But it's not the point here, and it's not teacher's or school's fault either.

RandomMess · 16/12/2018 22:43

TBH at 5/6 the concept of value and ownership/theft - borrowing and sharing aren't clear cut for a lot/some DC.

It could be a good opportunity for the teacher to discuss these topics.

Like I said upthread some parents will teach their DC to take what they want...

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 16/12/2018 22:45

What if a child hasnt stolen it op??!?

Thats the point you are failing to listen to.

You've said youve not accused any one of stealing. You have numerous times on this thread. You've even brought in it must be because teachers are more PC these days

A few of us have said no its your sons responsablity tuat its got lost.

Your still going on that there should be conquencies for the child that might not have stolen it. But had a go at any one whos gone no the child there should be conquences for is the child that LOST it. Your son.
Actally maybe the teachers are more tactful and PC if a child had brought a valuable item in to school that they knew they werent allowed to do and had lost it in my day the teachers would have told the parents that children shouldnt not he bringing such valuable items in to school and it was their responsablity that it gad been lost!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 16/12/2018 22:49

At that age it’s more than likely he’s lost it. The school can’t do much more, he shouldn’t have taken it in, they did what they could and that’s all you can expect.

It’s a valuable lesson for your ds, and I wouldn’t be replacing the watch either

perfectly1mperfect · 16/12/2018 22:52

It is your kid who needs the lesson, for taking it in in the first place!

Really? I'm sure the poor child has learnt his lesson, he no longer has his birthday present. It's like the victim blaming we see so often on here, only worse because the victim is a child! He should have been able to take an iPhone to school and not have another child steal it! It's the person stealing that's in the wrong.

user789653241 · 16/12/2018 23:00

I can totally see why you are upset, OP. But once you have broken the rule yourself, you can't really blame anyone else.
What do you think if some children start bringing valuable stuff, like jewelry or phones to school against rules and start complaining it's being broken/lost/stolen? Don't you naturally think it's their fault in the first place?

SheepyFun · 16/12/2018 23:02

I'm surprised the school were even willing to put something on the online journal and ask children the next day. At DD's school it's made quite clear that any toy you take in is entirely at your own risk. They have been very helpful when DD has mislaid her glasses, but those are required in school. They were (understandably) a lot less helpful when she lost a hat. Sometimes DD has sneaked toys in, and they haven't all come home, but I don't expect the school to quiz other children over it.

RebelWitchFace · 16/12/2018 23:02

@perfectly1mperfect except we don't know that anyone has stolen it.

user789653241 · 16/12/2018 23:06

Cross posted, but really, perfectly1mperfect?
You are talking about 6 years old here, so you would really think 6 years old taking in iPhone to school, and some other children, who are jealous either breaks them or stole them are to blame?

DocusDiplo · 16/12/2018 23:06

Happened last year to us. Same watch as your DS's. Was gutted for him and myself. Horrid thief.

IgglePiggleWiggle · 16/12/2018 23:10

It's not the school responsibility to sort this out. They don't know it's been stolen, you don't know it's been stolen. They aren't going to take time away from learning to try and sort it by giving a big speech to the class. Sorry but it's a goner.

RebelWitchFace · 16/12/2018 23:10

We've had kids come in with bottles of perfume/aftershave, spare car keys or debit/credit cards(still valid).

Original poster

LMonkey · 16/12/2018 23:11

In this case, yes, it's the fault of the child who gets stolen. You are not meant to bring valuable stuff to school. It can get damaged, lost or stolen. It's your child's fault, 100%.

Listen to yourself!! How can you actually say it's 100% the fault of the child it gets stolen FROM? That's the most ludicrous thing I've heard! Let me guess....you're one of those people who says its a woman's fault she gets raped if she's wearing a short skirt, right? I accept it was partially DS's fault for taking it in to school. 100%? Absolutely absurd.

Naughtothree I accept a child may not have stolen it! I accept it could have just been lost. However given the circumstances the likelihood is that a child has taken it. And I do realise that at this age it may not be intended maliciously and they don't fully understand the impact it can have on the other person.

I feel like this thread is going round and round in circles and for every reasonable comment there are 5 ridiculous ones

OP posts:

perfectly1mperfect · 16/12/2018 23:13

You are talking about 6 years old here, so you would really think 6 years old taking in iPhone to school, and some other children, who are jealous either breaks them or stolen them are to blame?

Of course they are to blame. If my child stole another child's belongings because she was jealous, my child would absolutely be to blame at age 6. They are not 2. At age 6, children know that they can't just take things that don't belong to them.

MutedUser · 16/12/2018 23:14

What do you expect the school to do check all the school bags, maybe let you go and search all their houses ? Don’t be daft he will have learned a lesson now. The teacher has done more than enough .

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