Please don't 'baby' your children

[pineapple95]

Where do I start?

Parents of my y3/4 class routinely carry their children's bags in, take their lunch bags to the hall, hand in letters and money, put their reading diaries and spelling books in the right places on the right days, linger in the corridor chatting ... for goodness sake MAKE YOUR CHILD LOOK AFTER THEIR STUFF!

7-9 year olds can carry bags and remember books. Don't baby them. Even 3 year olds can carry their bags - don't be that parent who mollycoddles their children.

It is perfectly reasonable simultaneously to acknowledge that not every family in the UK will use knives and forks regularly for cultural reasons and to believe that being able to use a knife and fork correctly is a basic life skill if you live in the UK.

Bicultural families have more work to do to parent their children.

Tbh, I have noticed the opposite.
My dc are grown up and there used to be far more sahp who used to do this, I was determined not to do likewise.
Now, I see them ferried in by childcare, wraparound care or dropped at gates by parent, who don't get out of car as off to work.
I used to do the office stuff as dc didn't always remember, but never carried their stuff or go into school.

"Who doesn't use a knife and fork at home? What do you do just sit and eat with your fingers"

My ds normally use just fork, or most of the time he uses chopsticks. Is it that odd not using knife and fork everyday?

Whatever one's culture, you teach your children the rudiments of the culture of the country or community in which you live. Thst is basic good manners wherever in the world you happen to be.

FWIW imo far too many indugenous Brits can't use a knife and fork properly and have shocking table manners. There is no excuse. No excuse whatsoever.

Funnily enough zzzzzz my children could handle chopsticks v well by about the age of 7 because we regularly ate Chinese and Japanese food. And of course they are too well mannered to be rude about Brits who can't use chopsticks as indeed they would not comment about Brits who can't properly use a knife and fork.

So if you lived in the Far East would your primary school children be using chopsticks at home everyday

Yes of course

I’m an immigrant and we have several very distinct cultures in our family. We make sure the DC are brought up to know them all. Not at all unusual IME. The DC’s school is of yet another culture and we make sure they knew what was necessary to respect its norms.

Good manners is about NOT making people feel bad whatever their background.

If you are an immigrant (as I am), good manners is learning the language and culture of your host country. I would never expect my host country to make allowances for me or my family.

It isn’t «belittling» to expect immigrants to make an effort to rise to the expectations and norms of their host culture. It is a gross injustice to citizens of host cultures to be expected to do the hard work and go to all the expense of acclimatising immigrants without a huge amount of effort by the immigrants themselves.

It is perfectly possible to have a multicultural society but schools are very short of resources and must of necessity restrict their teaching.

I was raised in the chopstick culture. I used chopsticks at home all the time, and we never used knife and fork for lunch at school, we used mostly chopsticks, fork and spoon.
I had no problem using knife and fork as a grown up. As an adult, you have a capacity to learn to use knife and fork, if you are taught, with in a second.

So if you lived in the Far East would your primary school children be using chopsticks at home everyday?

Er, I live in the far East and I made sure my child learned how to use chopsticks since we were going to use local public schools, even though we do not use them at home as much as the local families do. It's called having respect for the culture you are living in and making sure your child feels comfortable and competent in the school environment.

I don't know what I think.
I carried all 3 of my kids bags when I took them to school, the eldest had sn and just wouldn't carry it, the youngest 2 saw me carrying his and I thought it only fair to carry theirs too. I also felt the bookbag/pe kit/lunch box/water bottle load stopped them enjoying the 40 minutes round trip on scooters or running and I liked them getting that exercise.
I never carried their things in, parents only went as far as the yard.
They started walking to school on their own in year 5/6 and obviously did it then.
I had a note on the inside of the front door saying have you got your keys, kit, homework, bag etc? We all use it, even the adults!
I have never had to remind any if them to do their homework or pack Their pe kits since they started secondary school.
We had a lot of stuff kicking off at home with the eldest and this would have fitted into don't sweat the small stuff for me. Carrying your own bags isn't a moral issue and my DH often carries my bags into work because we work together and he's a lovely man with a stronger back than me.

Schools or parents have to apply to the LA for an EHCP which may or may not be awarded by a panel of professionals. A NEP is something negotiated in school between parents and teachers.

Thank you for explaining that.

Going by the information in the link provided by @BlankTimes they are very similar in terms of what they contain and what they are used for. It's just our system for obtaining one appears easier because you don't need an assessment or to deal with anyone other than the school rep who manages them.

An EHCP requires huge amounts of evidence and schools have to prove they've already spent at least £6K of their budget to support the child. There are usually lots of professionals involved in the process and the resulting document has a legal standing.

We seem to have wandered away from the OP point about letting children carry their own bags.

zzzzz
I went on to explain that my own children took a little while to get used to taking a piss with shoes on because it is something they had rarely experienced.

It's not practical for children in a cold climate to go barefoot outdoors.

And I still don't understand how children used to going barefoot could have difficulty balancing while using the loo once they were wearing shoes unless they were standing on the loo seat and not sitting on it.

My DCs grew up in a climate with hot summers and bitterly cold winters. They never wore footwear in summer indoors, and often went barefoot outdoors too. We take our shoes off indoors here winter and summer. In winter we have slippers for indoor use.

None of the DCs had any problems going from summer to winter footwear norms outdoors or in school.