Daughter's teacher called her a numpty

[Ottermum23]

Hi all,
We have a lovely little daughter, in year3.
She is a very enthusiastic learner, who always loved school and loves academic challenges.
This year, she had a new teacher, who is not the nicest, but nevertheless, We thought, just give her the benefit of a doubt.
Our girl been contstantly saying, that the teacher shouts, and today, she said, she called her a numpty, as she accidentally started to do her writing on someone else's book.

I find this very frustrating and just would like to hear others opinions.
Thank you.

One of its major issues is parents who fail to support (profesiobally trained, qualified) teachers so....you're definitely part of the problem OP.

There's a need in language for a word that means "doing something bloody stupid when you're perfectly bright enough to know better" - numpty seems to me to fit the bill perfectly. (I called DS an idiot in the heat of the moment yesterday - he was bouncing a ball on the pavement after he'd been told not to, lost his grip on it, chased it into the road in front of a car - and he's late primary age and not only should but does know better. He was in fact being an idiot and needed to be told he was.)

Why are you being so facetious, OP?

Is this a wind-up?

Actually, I sort of agree with you there. Large elements of our school system are appalling, but they aren't going to change any time soon.

I think sometimes, especially with the way schools are at the moment, it's nicer to have a rapport with a class where they like and respect you but know you can have a laugh too. If they like a teacher, they're more inclined to attain. If a teacher is disliked, it doesn't usually work in terms of learning. If your child's teacher is trying to build a bit of a jokey rapport, it's probably for the child's benefit rather than trying to insult them.

I'm really happy to be called "those parents". Our child education is extremely important for us.

Our children’s education is very important to us too. The way we express that is by supporting the school, building positive relationships with the staff and working with them to the benefit of our children.

Of course you should deal with serious issues. This isn’t one of them though. “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is apposite here.

If you storm up to the school over every “numpty” you will be taken far less seriously when it’s actually something important.

I’ve always found this useful for considering different perspectives:

www.debonogroup.com/six_thinking_hats.php?gclid=Cj0KCQjwrszdBRDWARIsAEEYhrcGCxKWECbRP2OfyHOYIK6O842nTzcu3qMhCoLhgCGV9KNsvQTxja0aAvdvEALw_wcB

It’s DeBono’s Six Thinking Hats.

The yellow hat and the black hat are two sides of the same coin. Both ask questions but where the black hat probes for weaknesses the yellow hat seeks to find benefit and add value. The basis of the questions are the same but the responses to them are very different.

I’m trying to raise my D.C. to wear yellow hats most of the time, to ask positive questions, to seek solutions, to identify positive motivations and find improvements.

It’s a business tool but it translates well to life. So wearing the black hat you assume insult and put down from the teacher to your DD. Wearing the yellow hat I assume very minor exasperation that the task is delayed by carelessness. My questions might teach my D.C. to laugh at themselves and be more careful next time, yours might teach your child to be offended, to see the teacher as the enemy and to take no responsibility for the interaction.

You can choose whether to be offended.
You can choose to consider positive motivations for other people’s behaviour.
You can choose to work with not against.

It all takes a bit of practice though.

Thank you so much NonaGrey, seems like a good tool. 👌

That's fine. I call my children numpties from time to time. It's quite sweet that the teacher has a good enough relationship with your daughter to affectionately tease her like that.

Underclass? Wow. You may not have English as your first language but you can’t say you don’t understand how rude that is.
Drop the attitude. Work with the school and maybe your child will end up happy, achieving well in school and less bigoted than you.

I would not be happy about a teacher calling my child numpty. I know at least my youngest Ds is very sensitive and would take it to heart and not see it as an affectionate term. Its all about how the child is used to being spoken to at home too. My children jump out of their skin when teachers shout as we never shout at home.

I actually think that being at school with children from different backgrounds is an excellent thing for our children.

They learn that having a excellent brain and a naice speaking voice are in no way connected.

They learn to be very grateful for what they have, to appreciate their privilege, to make the most of their opportunities and to count their blessings.

They learn that earning a high salary isn’t just about “hard work” and that many, many people work incredibly hard for not much at all.

They learn how to deal with people from all walks of life, which is only going to help them in their future careers.

My D.C. go to the local state school, parents range from factory workers to investment bankers. My D.C. have friends from across the spectrum.

Black hat/yellow hat Otter Start looking for the positives.

perhaps is good for our girls to mix with the under class

So you are clearly a nightmare, and an unsupportive arseholes to teachers. You sound awful and offensive OP.

YABVU throughout.

I agree @Anasnake a fair number of our school population have no resilience and run crying to an adult at the slightest criticism. It's really worrying how they will cope when our in the big bad world of work.

I teach secret nasty and numpty is my gentle, good hearted ribbing term. The kids take it in the spirit it's intended. I interchange with doughnut or plonker, depending on the child and my relationship with them.

@Ottermum23 you need to build resilience too and learn to pick your battles with School carefully. Your wee one will pick up on your attitudes and resold accordingly.

I think "numpty" is a term of endearment! I can't imagine anyone using the word in anger, as a telling off.

As for the shouting. When my children were in infant school I was one of the mums who used to help out regularly. There were two teacher that we as parents were afraid of, teachers who regularly raised their voices and sounded harsh.

But both those teachers attracted loyalty and affection from their children. When it came to school reports the sections they wrote were amongst the most personal and positive. They were great teachers but stood no nonsense and the kids ended the year loving them even if they were a little nervous to start with.

I hav to agree with Wolfie.
It is you, OP, who is being incredibly rude and offensive on this thread.

Maybe, as English isn't your first language, you didn't realise that 'numpty' was a gentle, affectionate term for someone who has done something a bit daft - fair enough, these things can be difficult to pick up in other languages but I would be very surprised if you don't understand what you are saying about other families who attend the school, isn't incredibly rude.

Actually @Ottermum23 if, as a teacher, I heard you referring to any of my pupils as 'underclass', I'd be calling you something much stronger than numpty. What an appalling term to use - even if English isn't your first language. Your grasp of it seems perfectly fine to me tbh...
Calling kids 'underclass' is disgraceful.

Numpty was our go-to admonishment when running an outdoor activity centre for 7-11 year olds precisely because it's so gentle as to be impossible to take as a serious insult. Delivered with tact and a smile it almost always made the kid giggle and laugh that they were indeed being a numpty. Telling the kids sotto voice that the accompanying teacher was being a numpty was on occasion hilarious as well.

Thankfully there were no parents on site to take offence at this harsh, cruel, intolerant language.

@MissMarplesKnitting I think you have a point -I'm on the south South coast and where numpty means stupid to me , wally is a more affectionate silly billy term x

wolfie Are you a teacher?

op Numpty isn't a word that's used where I live but I've heard it used in a "silly billy" way. I still don't think its a word a teacher should use. It makes me feel uncomfortable

I can't help but laugh reading posts where teachers shouting is being defended or passed off as a stern voice.
My dds teacher last year was screaming at the class when a parent knocked on the class room door. The parent said she was red in the face screaming at the children. There's a huge difference between raising your voice, being stern and shouting.
My dd would come home upset and frustrated after listening to the teacher all day. Her school work suffered hugely. She's only back in school four weeks and she is thriving. She is so happy going to school and loves her teacher this year.

I was for many years. It’s a word that is used a lot round here. It’s an affectionate kind of term. Hard to explain but I wouldn’t have a problem with it.
Red in the face hysterical teacher? Not good.
But teachers get called shouty for raising their voice above a normal speaking level.

I like numpty

I agree with you wolfie but I'm not a drama llama. I understand teachers have a very hard job and of course need to raise their voice. I asked my dd if the teacher was raising her voice or shouting. She told me "Mam she shouts louder than you"

Following the underclass comment, I'd be way more concerned, if I were you, about what your child is picking up and learning from you at home rather than her teacher at school.
You're seriously worried about a bit of raised voice and a polite term of admonishment? You're a way worse influence perhaps?

Crikey, OP's comments escalated quickly! Underclass kids?! They're innocent kids!