Daughter's teacher called her a numpty

[Ottermum23]

Hi all,
We have a lovely little daughter, in year3.
She is a very enthusiastic learner, who always loved school and loves academic challenges.
This year, she had a new teacher, who is not the nicest, but nevertheless, We thought, just give her the benefit of a doubt.
Our girl been contstantly saying, that the teacher shouts, and today, she said, she called her a numpty, as she accidentally started to do her writing on someone else's book.

I find this very frustrating and just would like to hear others opinions.
Thank you.

Numpty is not a put down. It really, really isn’t.

In fact it’s the opposite, it’s the teacher acknowledging that the child did something a bit silly/careless but that they aren’t angry or bothered about it.

You need to explain this to your daughter. You need to teach her how to translate what the teacher says.

We rarely shout at home. Neither of my D.C. like shouting however they have both had “shouty” teachers. Rather than complaining we saw it as an opportunity to teach them how to deal with that.

They are going to have to deal with shouty people their whole lives, learning how to respond to that is a fairly important life lesson.

Working with your DD to enable her to become more resilient is one of your most important parenting tasks.

Thank you for all the comments, been really helpful. I am probably over sensitive, just needed a reality check. I'll wait and see what the next few months will bring...

Thanks NonaGrey, how true!✨✨✨

You see “ I will wait and see what the next few months will bring” sounds like you are expecting trouble.

I know

I am one of them tiger mums 🤦🏻‍♀️

Firstly I'm proper surprised how many people have replied, I thought numpty was very much a regional term.

My Dad calls me a numpty, and always has done. It's a term of endearment around here and is not 'putting someone down'.

I wouldn't be fussed if a teacher called my child a numpty, especially after having done something daft.

Very sensible Otter.

I tell my children that it doesn’t matter whether you actually like the teacher, it just matters that you can learn from them.

I’m sure your DD will settle in to the new style soon.

Well don’t be such a numpty!

Tiger mum? Yeah you need to work on that. There may be times you need to step in at school but this really isn’t one of them.

That's what I usually say to her, NonaGrey, that, just go in,take the knowledge and fill your brain for 6 hours, and ignore the rest. She is indeed a very sensitive young lady, and perhaps that's why I'm being over protective.

Numpty just means silly. Overreacting a bit here OP

I'd put "numpty" on the same level as "twerp", which I call the DC often.

That's why I asked this forum, WolfieFan, so I could see a different perspective.

It’s not your job to be over protective though. It’s your job to separate the things that need you to step in and those that don’t. And she’s sensitive? Work to build resilience. Children meet all kinds of different adults and children and need to have the confidence to cope.

I don't think numpty is as bad as donut or banana...I know of one teacher that who call DC such things to DC and they find it hilarious

I think of numpty as ruder than lots of you, I think idiot. But then I wouldn't take offence to wally and I would probably roll my eyes and not raise it with the teacher.

Hopefully it didn't upset your DD.

Is it chicken or egg though?

I wonder if you are over sensitive as time goes on she'll react to things that more resilient children (with less sensitive parents) would laugh off or cope with more effectively. I'm not sure sensitive is a bad thing though, just how we show it to our children and how we teach them to handle life's challenges, including harsh as well as constructive criticism. (Not that I think numpty was critical in this context, more playful).

You need to work on building up her resilience. I teach Year 11's who've been wrapped in cotton wool their whole lives and can't bear the slightest criticism, no matter how minor or silly. Don't let her end up like that, it will do her no favours.

I wonder Otter if it’s possible that your “Tiger Mum” attitude is actually ramping up your DD’s sensitivity a little bit?

My kids would know if they told me the numpty story I would have said “well you were a numpty!” and laughed at them affectionately. I’d guess that’s not what you did.

If you blow small stuff out of proportion or take it all terribly personally then your DD will take her lead from your behaviour.

You need to learn together not to sweat the small stuff. Keep your powder dry for when you really do need it.

“Numpty” is affectionate round here and would mean that she had done something a bit daft but it was not a big deal. I think it’s cute.

Pointed out the most important thing here, resilience. Obviously, I want the very best for her, so sometimes I can be over the top. (Even if I just say it to myself or husband)

How do I build resilience though?

Most things are bang on w her, but she definetly has to toughen up

How do I build resilience though?

Lay off the tiger mum stuff for a start! She needs to know that she is perfectly able to cope with this stuff.

Get a grip. Seriously.

I'm a secondary teacher and I have used it. Today in fact. A boy in year 7 knocked on the office door at lunchtime and said he had forgotten to pick up his PE Kit. I said 'Oh you numpty, check under your table' and gave him the key to my classroom.

I have never thought of it as a big deal, but would never use it to refer to someone's academic ability.