Daughter's teacher called her a numpty

[Ottermum23]

Hi all,
We have a lovely little daughter, in year3.
She is a very enthusiastic learner, who always loved school and loves academic challenges.
This year, she had a new teacher, who is not the nicest, but nevertheless, We thought, just give her the benefit of a doubt.
Our girl been contstantly saying, that the teacher shouts, and today, she said, she called her a numpty, as she accidentally started to do her writing on someone else's book.

I find this very frustrating and just would like to hear others opinions.
Thank you.

Oh dear op I believe you have missed some irony! And FYI teachers are trained in behaviour management. And pay tax too oddly enough. And work bloody hard. Not all are perfect. But they are also not there to be ‘nice’. In the first term they need to appear especially strict to establish themselves.

maybe that's why I have to pay so much money for private tutoring, to get our kids to grammar?!

Or maybe your kids just aren’t that academically capable?

Maybe the teacher was right, after all.

I don’t agree with all of this tiger mum stuff.
I find it a little vomit inducing actually.
I mean each to their own but I wonder it’s these tiger mums who have children that can’t cope with criticism or negative comments later on.
The peer who calls them a name. The college teacher who gives them firmly constructive feedback.
The colleague who tries to undermine them.
The boss who’s feedback is somewhat direct.
What happens when tiger mum can’t step in and save the day?
Instead of being able to shake off a comment and get on with the rest of their day, they will go to pieces.
If you treat minor issues such as a flippant remark from a teacher as a major issue, then it will become one. If she is always so sensitive, then any remark will have the impact to harm her self esteem.
Personally I would have laughed and said, ‘oh well you won’t make that mistake again will you’, then move on.
Unless my child was being repeatedly targeted by a teacher I wouldn’t get involved.
I think you are also trying to undermine the teachers style and skill by going on about her shouting.
All teachers will be different, likewise your daughter will meet different Personalities throughout her life.
Just let her get on and learn how to deal with things.

If you’re so good at teaching maybe tutor your kids yourself....

Great post by NonaGrey on P2

How do I build resilience though?
Well, for a start, by not creating a situation where there really is no problem. If one of my dc had come home saying "MissX called me a numpty today" I'd have said 'Why, What dd you do?'. When she told me, I'd have repeated that clearly she was being a numpty to do that, or might have broadened it out and called her a plonker or a noodle.

Totally agree with Professor Moody.
Your reply doesn't make sense to me ??

That's just an other issue, wolfiefan.
It's not a problem as such, it's just how society works. I have no major issues with "different backgrounds", I'm just not keen to think, that being in benefit and don't work at all, it's a future prospect for our children. And it is a massive problem where we live.

Eh?

I haven't read what everyone else has said just original post -and I wouldn't like it, numpty to me is derogatory , it means stupid

Very much depends on the tone what was used - but unlike many others I think that's an awful thing to say. Given your child's reaction I doubt it was said in a jolly and affectionate way. I think it was poor.

So the teacher called your child a numpty?
The teacher is shouty?
Some children at your school have parents on (GASP) benefits?
Perhaps stop judging others and looking for issues where none exist?

People may be getting mixed up with regional variations here. Numpty to me means daft/silly, not stupid. So to me (northerner!) it's definitely a light-hearted thing.

Hence why I hung back when DS teacher called him a Wally. To me, that was more insultt, but to her it meant the same. No harm meant.

The insult was in the way I took it, not the way it was meant. It's vital to differentiate between the two.

Op is using the benefit scroungers to justify why she is having a go at the teacher.
No doubt this attitude will come across as tiger mummy thinks she is a cut above the rest of the Normal mummy’s at the school.

Wow. It took me a few minutes to decipher your last post (I think it's you who needs the tuition) but you obviously believe your child is above those with parents who claim benefits. How awful. Thankfully, where I teach we have all sorts of parents and usually, those benefit scroungers are the nicest of the lot.

MissMarplesKnitting
Numpty, wally, silly Billy etc. are all affectionate ways of saying 'you've been a bit daft'.

Equally, some children have an interesting idea of what shouting is. (I can recall students talking about me 'yelling' but it was nothing more than a raised, firm tone. It's just a shift from my usual tone.) Some children don't take to being corrected and think any criticism, however constructive, is somehow a personal attack. Anecdotally, they have parents who swoop in with the cotton wool and cuddles every 5 seconds instead of letting them develop some resilience.
Combined with your points about people from other backgrounds, there's a chance your child need so toughen up a bit.

ProfessorMoody, English is not my first language, probably that why,that you thought, that I need tutoring. 👍

WTF you are beyond tiger mum if you expect primary school to prep for grammar. They prep for Sat's because funnily enough, that's what they are judged on.

Numpty is a term of endearment. If you go in all guns blazing aboutnthis you will be that parent.

You build resilience by bouncing things off your daughter. Like today, a simple "what did you do", let her answer, then "oh well you were a numpty, let's go home and get a biscuit".

Fair enough, OP.

I don't think it's regional, I'm in the south and it's used to mean silly/daft down here as well. Same it's wally.

Op, you admit you're over sensitive and tell us your child is over sensitive. I'd take a step back and think if there is a correlation here.

How did you react when she told you did you laugh and say well you a
Were being a little numpty and ruffle her hair or did you clutch your pearls, hoik up your judgey pants and she saw your reaction? And learn from it?

As well as teaching out child resilience, we need to teach them to laugh at them selves, to recognise a humourous affectionate comment, and we do that by modelling that behaviour ourselves. To learn what is serious and what is not. If you are unable to do this and are over sensitive then she will learn from you.

This is something that should be shrugged off with a smile and a Doh!

You write like you're looking for a war with this teacher. The teacher is on your daughters side. She wants her to learn and succeed. Work with her don't fight her and think of how your behaviour impacts your child's.

OP, even before I read your post about tutoring I got the impression that you do not think highly of the school system. And if that comes across to me then it probably comes across even more strongly to your children - and their teachers. That's not a tiger mum.

Thank you, ProfessorMoody. I really don't mean to offend you.

No, I don't think highly of the school system, I think it's rather appealing

Appalling I mean 😂

Clearly it's been a long day. I've just read the first sentence of Derry's last paragraph to mean literally bouncing things off her. Don't do that.

Oh the school system is appalling now? Maybe home school would be a better fit for you?

Do you think, that the school system is good/does work?