Daughter's teacher called her a numpty

[Ottermum23]

Hi all,
We have a lovely little daughter, in year3.
She is a very enthusiastic learner, who always loved school and loves academic challenges.
This year, she had a new teacher, who is not the nicest, but nevertheless, We thought, just give her the benefit of a doubt.
Our girl been contstantly saying, that the teacher shouts, and today, she said, she called her a numpty, as she accidentally started to do her writing on someone else's book.

I find this very frustrating and just would like to hear others opinions.
Thank you.

Ouch fissionchips Saucer of milk?

I’m actually quite in awe of anyone who can speak another language, I’m just grumpy due to insomnia and the op being a numpty.

I think of numpty as quite sweet. Sort of a giggly eye roll, that would be said with a smile. Maybe it's a regional thing.

Also, life isn't fair and your DD will come across challenges in life. Shielding them from everything is impossible.

I can't help but laugh reading posts where teachers shouting is being defended or passed off as a stern voice
Because there is a difference between the two and a time and a place for both.
You'd be amazed how many times a firm tone can lead to parents complaining that a teacher 'screamed at their child' when the reality is far from it. (Often otherwise described as sensitive or 'but they jist like to ask questions of authority')

Some children never get a firm tone of voice at home and don't get told no or stop without a 10 minute explanation in a lilty whisper about why we don't do... The reality is that aged 12/13 they know fine well that they should be polite and listen when a teacher/peer is speaking so if they insist on low level disruption an ignoring instructions any sensible teacher will tell them to behave. Lessons don't need to be wasted whilst teachers indulge badly behaving students with endless 'whys'.

Most parents entirely understand that a range of tones for a range of situations is appropriate.

OP if the school system is truly so appalling, why do you use it? Why don’t you send your girls to private school? Is it because you can’t afford it?

There's being "grumpy due to insomnia" and "trying to belittle someone by criticising their SPaG"

It's all in the nuances.

Yes I think that comment aimed at criticising the spelling and grammar of the OP was unnecessary and spiteful and added nothing to the debate about numptyness.

Most people on the thread think numpty is fine and a few people would prefer a child to be told "You are a clever child but just made a mistake you ought not to have" instead of "you numpty".

I would hate to be a teacher , is this really what we have become? Good luck OP. We are raising a generation of offended by everything snowflakes.

I am not a native English speaker, but "numpty" has some comical ring to it, and I don't feel it sounds like an insult to me. More like affectionate way to say oh you have done something silly.

Op sounds like she has already made her mind up about this teacher, which is a shame. You don't really know, only after a month into school year.

You do know it's possible to care deeply about your child's education without being one of 'those' parents.

They way you react is more likely to be detrimental to her education than helpful

It is not acceptable for teachers to humiliate students by calling them denigrating names.

There is nothing “sweet” or “affectionate” about numpty. It’s name calling. Not appreciate for a teacher.

Appropriate

Are you a teacher, user?

Not a teacher but an education professional.

Conflating “name calling” and “criticism” is quite common in schools. It is really important to distinguish the two. All students deserve clear, factual feedback (criticism) and they need to learn to take it in the spirit it is intended. No student deserves to be called names, to be humiliated or to be mocked.

An "education professional"?

Then surely you understand how a classroom works? How building a rapport with children is essential for attainment? How something like this could actually be done as part of something like growth mindset, where a child makes a mistake and are being taught not to dwell on it, everyone does silly things sometimes (silly sausage, you doughnut, numpty) and to move on because it's a learning experience?

None of the terms you use are appropriate. Children deserve to receive feedback with respect and clarity.

Children deserve to receive feedback with respect and clarity

Yes, and they very much do in my classroom. However, I also know that ruffling a child's hair and calling them a "doughnut" works in a certain way for one child over another.

You do realise that all children are different and that different techniques work for different people?

Ruffling a child’s hair is a great way to put them in a position of impotence, as is name calling. That might be a wonderful way for a teacher to regain control but it will do nothing for a child’s long-term self respect.

user, but how else the teacher should have responded to OP's dd's mistake? It makes it a laughable matter by light hearted responce by the teacher than making it a big deal.

You've obviously studies very different things to me. Have you worked with vulnerable children who need very careful treatment? Have you worked with children who may be terrified of your "clear feedback"?

What are your qualifications? I'd be keen to know.

I currently teach a child who has a shocking past, that would horrify you. If I spent time with him giving feedback, he would be a mess. I have to tread very, very carefully so as not to hurt or distress. I know that with this child, a nudge and a "silly billy" will generate a smile and a visible exhalation of pent up worry.

If I'm so wrong, user, I'll continue to do things badly. I've done pretty well in my career so far.

*studied

Your career may be wonderful but that isn’t the issue under discussion. Boris Johnson has had a wonderful career, if we want to discuss the merits of name calling as a driver of career success.