May have to take ds1 and ds2 out of independent school

[helbel3]

I am absolutley devastated, dh business has been going from bad to worse for 6 months now. Resulting in the possibility of maybe us having to withdraw ds1 and ds2 from independent school.

To say I am devastated is an understatement, I am crying. Ds1 in year1 would not suit a state school unless very small and initimate, ds2 who is due to start reception in september would adjust fine I think.

Anyone had experience of this, please really appreciate truth no matter how bad.

Yes, however good the state school, I think once you are used to private, its hard to go back to state -- the other way round is fine ...

OMG xenia I can't believe your attitude and you say it is hard to generalise and then go on and do exactly that.You get out of your kids what you put in to them .What rot and you show a real lack of knowledge of how your average family lives with your mindless comments.MN can do without people like you

Maybe private schools have to offer eaxta curricular activities after school as both parents are so busy working to pay the fees?

My 2 attend a state secondary school and take part in many extra curricular activities.

Other pupils leave at 3.30pm and walk home to a welcome from a parent who is not obsessed with the money god.

I totally agree fortyplus.Money and status aren't everything.I have no problem with paying for education if you can afford it I went to public school myself but the implication that it is better and the sky would fall in if you couldn't afford it is nonsense.It is always the parents who get stressed about this most kids aren't bothered.

Same here. Private school was bad for me - I went from being one of the brightest 2 or 3 at my little state primary to below the middle of the form at secondary school. It led to me under achieving compared with my friends who went to the local state secondary.

I also think that private schools give you a bad attitude - make you think that you're better than everyone else. I was terribly judgemental of others until I grew up... some time in my thirties I think!

I love the way mumsnet reads posts and don't read it properly and then take umbrage. I said a partner who has a reasonably well paid job and suddenly several posters seem to think I said rich husbands!

I think it's just Xenia rattling the cage as usual

I rise to the bait every time - pathetic, really. If only I'd been sent to a state school, I'd be far more well adjusted!

40plus I feel the same about my education and had virtually the same experience as you!I envy my ds the community based feel of his school and all the kids are so well adjusted and happy and most of all they LOVE school!

Most children do better at private schools on just about every scale, confidence, exa results, behaviour, accent, sporting activities, music, ability to relate to people, speak properly, debate, interact adn the whole experience is hugely more fun, the grounds are nicer, just so many thousands of advantages which is why in later life private school pupils do so well and why this country at the top in just about everything you choose to pick including our prime minister were in the private system. It speaks for itself. It's why 47% of parents would pay if they could afford it.

Most of this country's Prime Ministers were educated at Eton, so obviously if you send your child to a lesser Public school you are failing them

That list is laughable!Those things do not make better people they are a barometer of things people like you use to judge and pigeon hole everyone they meet.And Tony Blair a man of integrity

Accent

Why would one not want one's children to have an accent which helps them in later life? I just can't understand that. Fine if you live in communist China or something but here in the UK all those things I listed help. Of course you can reject most of the UK's values but don't deny the list s wrong. It will always help children to have good exam results, be polite, speak well, be confident and have all those advantages you get at private schools in the kind of country we are in. In China at one point if your parents were clever/doctors/academic then your career was deliberately in future blighted in consequences but we don't live there.

I think most parents who can afford to pay pay for better exam results above all rather than class advantages but obviously there are a range of advantages in being privately educated.

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Good exam results help children. Obviously so do lots of other things like caring parents, attention, healthy food, exercise and in my view as I'm a Catholic some kind of good moral values which many private schools impart better than state schools.

Anyway I'm happy with how the first 3 of my chlidren have emerged from day private schools but whatever good the schools do them or otherwise I think we are 50% born, not made and genetics plays a huge role too.

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I think I know what Xenia's Island is called...........Fantasy Island!

Hate them. Lots of my father's psychiatric patients were emotionally damaged by being sent away at a young age. Most of the boarding schools except a few like Eton and Winchester get worse exam results than the academic day schools and some of the lesser boarding schools have 80% pupils from China etc which of course is fine and I like the racial mix in my children's schoopls but it can be a bit isolating for your own children. Also parental ability to track things is less. I found it comforting that adolescents were here in my house every night, that they had that refuge if there were a school problem with other children.

They also cost twice the price of day schools. So in effect you are often paying double for a worse education!

(.. the island is just a lump of rock with 25 acres of rainforest - having an island is not a particular indicator of huge wealth by the way, although I do want to build on it).

I was ribbing you btw, not meant to be offensive, sorry.

No problem. I nkow people who've moved their children to islands and given up school altogether which may be fun or put them in remote rural schools instead. Cheaper..

Xenia - 'Why would one not want one's children to have an accent which helps them in later life?' If you mean an educated southern accent ie received pronunciation, then that is how my children speak - they learned it from me and my family...

...the vast majority of their friends are well spoken - birds of a feather flock together.

I am surprised that you vehemently oppose boarding schools. I know a number of children attending Uppingham, Stamford and Rugby.

Most of them begged to be allowed to board as they felt that they were missing out on the fun.

I think you have very blinkered views - you believe that private day schools must be the best option for every child.

Yes but children often want things that aren't good for them.