May have to take ds1 and ds2 out of independent school

[helbel3]

I am absolutley devastated, dh business has been going from bad to worse for 6 months now. Resulting in the possibility of maybe us having to withdraw ds1 and ds2 from independent school.

To say I am devastated is an understatement, I am crying. Ds1 in year1 would not suit a state school unless very small and initimate, ds2 who is due to start reception in september would adjust fine I think.

Anyone had experience of this, please really appreciate truth no matter how bad.

I think what's happening is that the shortage of teachers in many subjects is meaning that schools are sometimes using unqualified teachers. That might sound worse than it actually is though. Some staff might have teacher training qualifications but not the ones that lead to qualified teacher status. So, if you had a PGCE in post-compulsory education, a secondary school might employ you as an unqualified teacher and pay you less. Or you might be a TA but working towards a PGCE and in the meantime be unqualififed.

thanks all and colditz. sometimes i wish i had just gone the bloody state option then would not have heartache, it took us bloody ages to decide private much to the headache of close family, as it was I talked about for about a year pros and cons. life is just shit sometimes will just have to pull myself together and get on with it.

hi batters, yes our school is the same with the notice. I am not having to move yet, it may be a possibility and was just looking to find anybody who had first had experience of doing so. We may pull things round, but, if we dont all the advice given here is greatly appreciated so i can do research properly etc..

thank you everybody, i am a real worrier when it comes to my children

12 months ago this was us. Dd was about to go into the reception class from the nursery attached to her private school and our business was going down the swanee. I had to make the decision whether to apply for a state school place or keep her name down for the school we couldn't afford.

In the end we managed it by living for 12 months on overdraft. We put the business up for sale but then managed to turn it around, plus dh and I took other jobs on as well.

Secretly I am hoping that once she is 7 she can apply for a scholarship (her teacher says she is very very bright) but in the meantime I am putting as much money as I can in an ISA to plan for future years now. We cut back RIGHT to the bone, no non essential spending at all and considered selling our house and drastically downsizing (luckily this wasn't necessary in the end).

Hulababy,Percypig's right. Although there is a separate pay scale for unqualified teachers in the state system, on the whole you are required to be trained as a teacher. In private schools you are required to have good knowledge of your field i.e. a good degree in that subject. There are vast numbers of teachers in the private sector without a teaching qualification and very few in the state sector.

When my Dad died both mine and my brothers schools offered my Mum a discount to keep us there, it may be worth speaking to the head.

islandofsodor, gald to hear things are better for you. Will keep my fingers for a scholarship for your dd. That is the trouble with business up one minute down the next and not always foreseable.

Been there, done that, for the same reasons. IT WAS FINE! My girls have benefitted enormously from having had experience in both sectors and it has done them no harm having to socialise with children from a less privileged background. And I'm a much nicer person for having been brought down a peg or three (IMO!). I'm sorry you're having such a hard time,but your children will barely even notice the change, I promise (they're like that, kids, shallow and selfish!).

thanks gamelygirl. I am not worried if I have to take them out of school them mixing with children from a less privileged background there are good and bad amongst us all regardless of class and background, it is the change I fear for them. New friends, no rules etc... and the big one if it does happen how I do explain things to them.

I have never told my children they go to indpendent school, why should i that was our choice not theirs. So in one way that may make it easier if it does have to happen as the money issue may never need to be mentioned.

puffling - fair enough, but that is not my personal experience.

I agree. I just told them a couple of weeks before that they were going to a new school, that they could spend the day there first so that they could meet teachers, other kids and find out where the loos were, and made a big, exciting fuss about it (DD1 was 8, DD2 5) and I can't pretend that the eldest found it easy when she actually got there, but the youngest had no trouble whatsoever. They just don't at that age. Honestly, get yourselves sorted financially and work on your relationship ... the rest will follow.

I'm not sure about that either, Puffling. I for one wouldn't pay for my DC's education at a school which did not employ properly qualified teachers. On the other hand, some highly qualified teachers are crap and other less qualified teachers are fantabulous. Anyway, let's not get into that old argument again ...

Hi gg, do you mind me asking what you said to the children? not offended if you dont want to say. I am just trying to prepare myself if it does come to the crunch, thanks

Ummm, can't really remember! Something along the lines of: "It will be lovely to have so many friends who live so much closer to our house. You can have loads of playdates and sleepovers." They really are quite shallow, my two, and they bought it (although I then had to do as I'd promised which was a PITA!). To be honest, I seem to remember that they were less interested in the reasons why and more interested in what their new school had to offer. Sorry not to be more help. We've never really shared our financial situation with our DCs though, TBH.

Last year we were really unhappy with lots of things about my dd school. It was around easter time. She's in Y1, we took her to look around another school we really liked - she just cried! We couldn't move her then, but kept talking about it with her. Took a few weeks but we finally moved her in June last year. she settled very quickly and is loving it. she has to move to a junior school in Sept again away from her current peers but we are really positive about it and she is the same. Incidently she was perfectly happy at her previous school - children are so adaptable to change, just be positive with them and don't pass on your fears and worries onto them. I really hope it works out for you - I agonised over the decision for a long time!

thanks gg, we also have never mentioned anything about money with our children, unlike some of the childrens parents they go to school with, another thread I think. I couldnt use the friends closer reason as all ds1 friends all live really close to us.

Oh well, will just have to wait and see what happens but do lots of research into available schools as a backup just in case.

GG "they're like that, kids, shallow and selfish" Do you think they get it from the grownups?
Just seems such a sad and damning commnent to make about your own children.

Sorry, Hathor, I was being flippant. I really meant that children don't necessarily attach the same importance to things as we adults do. I adore my DDs and they are no more self-absorbed than any other children, I promise! Didn't mean to offend anyone, just wanted the OP not to worry too much. I honestly believe that if she looks after her finances and her relationship with DP, her children will feel secure and settle down quickly in any new environment.

Oh good - I thought you meant it.
Another thing that intrigues me is not telling the children that you have to pay for their school. When would you do this? They will find out from their peers. My dc has friends at public schools. Seems very strange explaining that some parents pay for their schools without making it sound like state is a second class option.

I mean, they are too young to go into all the politics of this aren't they, but they will be putting two and two together.

Hathor, I agree totally with you, why the hell would you tell children that you pay for their school? But I know parents do, I was astounded when a mum who has become a friend said her and dp had told their son, I told her I was shocked.

At the end of the day it was their choice to pay it is not compulsory and like everyone has said very good state schools available.

I just didn't think that at 5 and 7 my girls were particularly interested in whether or not their school was fee-paying, to be honest. Obviously, the issue has arisen since then, ande they are now old enough to understand that we quite simply want the best for them, and if that means buying an education, then we will.

Hi Helbel3 - we moved our DD from private to state in Sept we haven't had a good experience. She says there are too many distractions in class and her work has slipped. We are now going to move her back into private asap. Having said that, she did settle well into the state school - and she made lots of nice local friends, and some aspects, such as the range of sports, are good. Its just we are not happy with the work she is producing in the school or with the schools laid back attitude, compared to the private. That said, every school is obviously different ... I think, it depends hugely on the individual child, and my dd thrives in a more focused, disciplined environment - and her current school is not getting the best out of her...