Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

[Louise1178]

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

Any teacher, especially those teaching very young children, who actively refuses to allow pupils to use the toilet is downright awful.

I wonder if when they are elderly and possibly incontinent they will understand and regret causing children the misery of not being allowed to relieve themselves when they need to. Yes some children arse about and need an eye on them, but that doesn't give teachers the right to stop everyone going to the toilet.

Toilet training takes a lot of effort and positive reinforcement. My daughter really needed a confidence boost with it to enable her to go in public toilets and ask other adults to help. I will not stand for anybody creating problems in that area when my daughter starts school if anybody causes her any upset.

Debbie get a job working in a prison, you can enjoy wielding your authority much more over adults.

If I was a year 1 teacher in this scenario, I would have given permission the second time the boy asked with a reminder to go at lunchtime in future

SiouxieQ

Is that your opinion of me too? as I do not let my year 3 class go during lesson time

Misspeters

I don't agree with refusing year 3 to use the toilet.

I don't agree with refusing to allow anyone of any age to use the toilet.

But it's far worse when they are so young they might not be able to hold it in, or be too worried to even ask in future when they are properly desperate.

Debbie Worrall

Have you never been caught out suddenly needing the toilet when you didn't ten minutes ago? You sound more like you enjoy the power. 'I might let them go' let them go to the bloody toilet

I assumed you son was going to be 14 or similar in which case it would be fair enough to ask him to wait,.
A 5 year old should be able to go when he wants. My DD's classroom has a toilet in each of their rooms in KS 1 so can go whenever they need to. I would be having words with the teacher/ headteacher.

Ps I let most of my secondary school kids use the toilets when they want unless they are serial offenders. I may ask them to wait 10 minutes until it is a more suitable time in the lesson though.

I often go to the toilet then ten minutes later need to go again. I have a very weak bladder and always need access to a toilet if I have had a drink within a couple of hours. If I have to hold it I am in a lot of pain. I cannot imagine stopping a child from using the toilet, especially at 5 years old when they have no concept of time.

Well it took next to no time at all for human rights and 'I'll be telling child's school they can't have rules' to start flying around.

He asked straight after lunch. Part of school is learning to take responsibility.
I never let a child go straight after lunch or break. If they ask half way through a lesson I ask if they can wait until break.
If they look desperate and aren't one of the children who ask all the time in lesson/need the loo in class but sit necking bottles of water, then I'll let them out quickly.

Otherwise you get the same time wasters, excessive bottle of water drinkers etc and a ripple of "can I go after timmy/sarah/ Charlotte?"

My school timetable is as follows:

9:00-10:20 Lessons
10:20-10:40 Break
10:40-12:15 Lessons
12:15-1:15 Lunchtime
1:15-3:20 Lessons

As you can see, they have an opportunity to go to the toilet at regular intervals. No reason why a year 3 child in my case cannot go 2 hours without a wee. Year 1 I do agree is asking too much

Yes they can and should go at break time.

No they shouldn't be punished by having to sit in discomfort and possibly a puddle if they make a mistake and don't.

If you're so sure it's their own fault and not an undiagnosed weak bladder or first signs of a UTI then couldn't you give them a normal classroom consequence for going 5 minutes after break? And if you're not sure wtf stopping them going?

DS is year 3 and would be bloody embarrassed if he had to ask for the loo in class time, I'd think that's quite enough deterrent for most 8 yr olds.

I had a similar incident a few weeks ago. A girl asked 15 minutes after lunch and explained that she did not have time to go(unlikely). I said no and that she should have gone at lunch. She did the usual "But Miss I'm desperate" routine, but she managed to wait until home time no problem. She even got down half her water bottle (unlikely to happen if she was bursting.)

@debbieworrall Thank god you haven't taught any of my children. You sound like you are teaching the wrong age group. 5-6 year olds are still babies, you sound like you are on a massive power trip. Some people should work with young children and some shouldn't. You don't sound like the type of person who has the right qualities to teach this age group.

I think Debbie is getting a bit of an unnecessary pasting tbh. If she's not had any issues with her system, then I assume she has a good few years teaching experience and is quite capable of making a judgement call on the odd occasion a child throws her a curve a ball.

Wrt to the OPs post - I think on the surface expecting a Yr1 child to go 2.5 hours without needing the loo is in theory a bit unrealistic and it's definitely worth having a calm word with the teacher. Do bear in mind though that this may not be a one-off. If OPs DS is in the habit of asking to go just after lunch because he's too busy playing/distracted/CBA to go in his lunch break the teacher may not be entirely unreasonable.

Staff on duty at lunch in our school remind ks1 children to use the toilet 5 minutes before the end of play. Could you suggest this as an option? Teachers send the children into the toilet on their way into the playground (no guarantee that they will use it of course) and they are prompted before the end of break. We still give the children a 5 or 10 minute break in the afternoon for a loo break/to have a drink.

Please don't call 5/6 year olds babies! You are seriously undermining them. They are capable of sitting on committees, representing the school, giving presentations, producing good academic work, following rules, empathising with others and genuinely being lovely members of the school community.

Regarding the toilet issue, most children can wait a few minutes until a suitable break. A teacher will generally know if there is a desperate situation. You can't have children just running out of the room whenever they get the urge to go. Besides there are usually only two cubicles per class! I'm sure if you are on a bus or in a jam on the outside lane of a motorway, your child will have to hang on in these situations, they aren't going to get infections every time they have to hold it in. Medical conditions excepted obvs before anyone jumps in.

Well put Pandora

Whilst me myself would not refuse a yr 1 child the loo, I have also had no problems with my system of not letting year 3 children go

Also I'm sure Debbie is not going to refuse the loo and just sit and watch a child squirm for 2 hours and not let them go. I know if I refused and then noticed it really was urgent I would I would let them go as a one -off.

It's important to remember that every school is different and what works in one might not work in another. My classroom is across the corridor from the infant toilets and there is a break every hour so toilet issues are quite easy to manage but I have worked in a school where the toilets were located in a totally separate building accessed by crossing the infant playground which meant children couldn't safely be allowed to go whenever they wanted.

When I was younger we were never allowed to go the loo during class once we got to year 3. Now as a teacher I also cannot pop out for a wee when the need arises. The rules for the children in my class is no different.

I think it depends on the layout of the school and the proximity of the toilets to the classrooms. Our school has long corridors with toilets/ cloakroom at the end ( 1950's built). For Year 1 and 2 the temptation to mess about down there is too much. In foundation and nursery the toilets are more central, in the learning environment, and the children are allowed to go whenever.
(The KS2 children have similar long corridors to KS1, and are expected to go at break and lunch. But no one would be denied if it is obvious they need to go, and not just an excuse to avoid doing work.)

None of us want children to wet themselves, but there are times when we might ask them to hang on, for 5 minutes, while we are in the middle of crucial input. If a child asks again, it is obvious they need to go and we let them.
. If they are not back quickly, I will walk down the corridor. I have caught many children misbehaving. The favourite things are to block the sinks with paper towels or even the urinal resulting in floods.
The other thing is locking the toilet doors and sliding under them, so no one can get in to use them.Girls tend to empty out the soap dispenser all over the floor or the paper towels. Sometimes the door locking thing happens.
There has to be some sort of rule about toilets because otherwise it gets out of hand and when one asks, they all want to go!
So what do we do.? Sit waiting till everyone has gone, wasting 15 minutes of a lesson? Parents expect teachers to teach their children, but if your child is the sort who always wants to go to the loo in the middle of a lesson, they are going to end up with gaps because they missed vital points.

5 and 6 year olds are not "still babies". Yes they are little and still learning, but babies - no. They are learning to be independent and responsible.

It's my boys who do the soap dispenser thing

It always amazes me that I never get a child asking to go during P.E for example but regular requests when in the classroom. I also cannot be seen to show favoritism by letting the trustworthy children go and the non trustworthy not. Easier to just have a blanket ban on loo visits in lesson time

I'm secondary. Sometimes my A Level students ask to go to the toilet. I let them go. I did have a student take the mick once years ago. However, once I said I would be filling in a cause for concern form as I was worried for his health it never happened again.

Teachers do not do it to be cruel IMO. The reason I do not let them out is because a few years ago I gave a boy permission, and he put all the plugs in the sinks, and turned the taps on leaving them running.