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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

327 replies

Louise1178 · 13/05/2017 19:33

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

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debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 20:54

If he needed the toilet right at the beginning of lesson, he should have gone at lunchtime, also if he managed to wait as long as he then he was not that desperate. Children should go to the toilet at break and lunch, not during lesssons

Eyerolling · 13/05/2017 21:00

My DD developed real problems in school around the same age due to strict toilet rules. She started withholding urine and got repeated bladder infections. She began to dribble urine all the time, coming home with smelly, damp underwear and became sore and red down below.
It took repeated complaints to her teacher and many weeks to sort the problem out, all because she was afraid of the teacher and her very strict rules about not visiting the toilet outside of breaktimes. It's appalling in this day and age and teachers should be told it's not acceptable.

ILoveMyMonkey · 13/05/2017 21:01

Primary teacher here, I always let my yr1 kids go whenever they need to, even if it is just after playtime / lunchtime. It's a pretty mean person who won't let them go!

Hell, if I need to go during lesson time then I do and my LSA holds the fort for 2 minutes - all the staff in my school do this.

Hopefully the teacher is mortified that her actions caused him to have an accident.

Elmersnewfriend · 13/05/2017 21:01

Certainly a year 1 child should be getting encouraged to go to the toilet in breaktime, however I think it's absolutely unacceptable if they aren't allowed to go. As someone else has said, how are they supposed to concentrate? Why make this a battle?

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 21:06

Also if the teacher had let him go, you can guarantee of queue of children lining up to go after. It is unacceptable for a child to need the loo immediately after lunch imo

Elmersnewfriend · 13/05/2017 21:09

But Debbie, surely it is then pretty obvious that the subsequent "queue" of kids are trying it on? Seriously, what would your reaction have been had this child been in your class and then had an accident? Pleased that you'd taught him a lesson? I'm totally baffled by your attitude.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 13/05/2017 21:12

When did this become a thing? When I was at school (not a billion years ago) if you asked for the toilet during class, you got a little block on a string to wear around your neck to make sure you were the only one going to the toilets, but they never said "No, you can't go".

Kids get distracted and caught up playing. How is it right to punish their mistakes by making them wet themselves?

GhostInTheBackOfYourHead · 13/05/2017 21:16

I am glad my children haven't ever had you debbie. It seems to me that you are a touch unreasonable.

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 21:17

Like I said earlier I do not let them go to the loo during lessons. However the longest they go without the chance to visit the toilet is 1hr 40 mins, they also have an afternoon playtime, ( I do think 2 and half hours is too long).

I do not deny them to teach them a lesson, it is because they have breaks in which they can go for a wee.

Teatowelfairy · 13/05/2017 21:21

DS is in yr5 and he basically said the same as Confessor wondering if you're his teacher

I would speak to the teacher about it.

Elmersnewfriend · 13/05/2017 21:21

Debbie... do you have your own children? Don't you remember that horrible feeling of being a child and being desperate for a wee and a horrible teacher saying no? I get it must be annoying, but it must be pretty obvious when a child need to go vs them trying it on. Like I say, what would you have felt had this child been in your class, you'd said no and then they'd wet themselves?

catkind · 13/05/2017 21:22

Deja vu, we've had a few versions of this thread lately.

Elmersnewfriend · 13/05/2017 21:23

I also think there's a massive, massive difference between a 9 year old being asked if they can wait (per Confessor's sensible example) and a 5 year old who quite frankly has a damn good reason to forget to go at lunchtime (ie being small, and having fun).

Elmersnewfriend · 13/05/2017 21:24

Genuine threads cat, or are you implying someone is getting excited thinking about small children being desperate for the toilet? Eugh!

Tinseleverywhere · 13/05/2017 21:29

Yeah I hate this idea of not letting young children go to the toilet during lessons.
I wonder what people would think of a parent who didn't allow their child to use the toilet except at set times and made them wait for over an hour?

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 21:29

I would feel awful of course, but despite saying no to the loo, I have never had a child wet themselves in my class

catkind · 13/05/2017 21:31

A 5 yr old child made a mistake debbie. You think being made to sit in discomfort and eventually wet themselves is an appropriate punishment for - well, anything really? If they run when they should walk and fall over, do you refuse to put a plaster on? If they mess around and miss an instruction, do you make them sit doing nothing for the rest of the afternoon rather than repeat it? Cos they sure won't be learning much while sitting desperate for the loo either.

katkitkat · 13/05/2017 21:32

Debbieworral

You are exactly the type of teacher I hope my young children don't get. Too harsh. They are only young and still learning.

It is unacceptable to deny young children the basic human right to use the toilet. Ok, some kids take the piss, but you need to use common sense and not just have a blanket ban on going to the toilet. It's wrong.

I think a pass system works quite well. 1 boy and 1 girl pass per class. Certain kids can't go out at the same time and arse about, only 1 of each can be out of the class at any time and will be using different facilities so can't mess about together.

PurpleTygrrr · 13/05/2017 21:34

I'm a year 6 teacher and I always say yes if a child asks to go to the loo. I might ask if they can wait if it's a couple of mins to the next break or if I'm in the middle of teaching an important point, but they can always go if they need to. The human body is funny, sometimes I can have had a wee and then 10 mins later need another one! Because the children know I always say yes, they usually don't take the piss . It's especially cruel to make a 5 year old wait. Also, someone mentioned up thread they would only let them go if they had a medical note... what if a bladder infection is only starting that day unbeknown to the parents?!

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 21:39

I drill the rules into the children very early in the school year, and by Christmas they know the routines and rarely get a loo request. This week I only had 2 requests, a girl who asked 30 minutes before lunch, I said no and to wait until lunch, she was fine. A boy asked just after afternoon play and waited an hour until home time, he was also fine.

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 21:42

Purpletygrrr

If a child mentioned that a child was a bit poorly or going to the loo frequently in the morning, then I would let them go whenever.

IAmNoMan · 13/05/2017 21:51

I teach year 1 and do not let them go to the toilet during lessons. Unless he has a medical problem their is no reason why they cannot go during breaks

I actually find your posts upsetting. You sound cruel and cold with no business teaching young children. You also might want to focus on your spelling, given your expectations of perfection in six year olds.

falgelednl · 13/05/2017 21:52

I teach Year 6 and also train my class at the start of the year...to understand when a good time to go to the toilet is: any time when I am not directly teaching them. Therefore, if any child needs to go to the toilet during lesson time, and they are not in a group being directly taught (so are working independently) then they can put the toilet pass on their desk (so I know where they are) and simply go to the toilet. They don't even need to ask me - they can also use the same pass if they need to refill water bottles etc. I do not get interrupted by children asking to go to the toilet but never have more than one child out at a time. I make it clear that going to the toilet during lesson time is not an excuse for not completing work properly. I won't hold children back at break because they went to the toilet during a lesson but I will if they need five more minutes to finish (whether they went to the toilet or not).

PurpleTygrrr · 13/05/2017 21:58

Falgelednl- I like your ideas! Might have to copy if I find the children are taking advantage of my good nature!
But Debbie... a 5 year old with a bladder infection might not know they are poorly, just that they need a wee! And also as I said before... they might just need to go even if they have been not long before.

IntheBenefitTrap · 13/05/2017 22:03

I'm a year 1 teacher and I'd never stop a child going to the toilet. I'm shocked that other teachers would, especially at this age and during a play based curriculum.

Definitely complain.

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