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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

327 replies

Louise1178 · 13/05/2017 19:33

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

user789653241 · 13/05/2017 22:13

debbie, you must know what happened to Miss Trunchbull in the end...

ILoveMyMonkey · 13/05/2017 22:16

debbie, you must know what happened to Miss Trunchbull in the end...

😂😂

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 22:17

I have said all i'm going to on the subject. I believe children should go before school, playtime,lunch time, and at end of the day, unless they have a medical problem. I have never had an accident with these rules, if a child was to wet themselves then I would have to think about a change in policy

IntheBenefitTrap · 13/05/2017 22:25

I hadn't read the whole thread but now I have, I feel sick. How can someone who claims to be a Year 1 teacher be so disgustingly cold? They are 5 and 6 fgs. To not allow a child of that age to go to the toilet for an hour after a break is appalling. I also find it very hard to believe that you've never had a child wet themselves, unless you've not been teaching long. In either case I truly think you need to rethink your career as you don't seem suitable to teach tiny minds and if you were my child's teacher and I found out what you were doing, I'd have no hesitation in taking things further.

debbieworrall · 13/05/2017 22:28

Why is it appalling? If they have been at break then should not need to go straight after.

Teatowelfairy · 13/05/2017 22:42

Debbie why wouldn't they need to go a short time later?

As an adult I can quite easily need to go a short time after drinking anything and if I've drunk plenty can easily need the loo at 10 min intervals. I have absolutely no medical reasons why, my bladder just fills up quickly.

It's cruel to refuse to let a 5yr old use the toilet.

Hulababy · 13/05/2017 22:43

If it's carpet time and part of the main teaching bit of the lesson I will ask if they can wait a few minutes until we move to desks to start their individual work. If obvious they need to go or they say no then I let them. However depending on the individual child I may make them make up the missed time at playtime or whatever.

And yes even some 5 year olds do know how to play the system - it's amazing how many are suddenly desperate when it's tidy up time for example.

lcheetham · 13/05/2017 22:45

Interesting reactions from teachers. Debbie I think its wrong to stop yr 1 children from going to the toilet. In the OP situation if I was the teacher I would have let him go once the class was settled, eg; the register had been took.

I am a yr 6 teacher and do not let them use the toilet in class. Surely you do not disagree with this?

Starlight2345 · 13/05/2017 22:45

As a childminder. When potty training I still am surprised when a child does a wee then 10 minutes later does another huge wee..Sometimes when they have held it for so long it backs up.

Yes Debbie it is a good idea to encourage them to go at break time howeve sometimes there is nothing there..

You say if a child was ill on the morning. I have send my DS to school finer and collected him with Tonsillitis in the afternoon..Fortunately he had a lovely year 1 teacher who let him drink all afternoon and I am sure regularly going to the toilet.

OP I would go talk to the teacher..You may well have Debbie as your teacher and may consider changing her policy.

Floggingmolly · 13/05/2017 22:59

You're a Year 6 teacher, Icheetham... I hope the class managed to pass the SPaG element of their SATs.
Yours isn't quite up to speed.

StarHeartDiamond · 13/05/2017 23:06

Debbie - my sister when she was aged 5 asked repeatedly to go to the toilet in school one afternoon, teacher said no, she wet herself and was made fun of by the class. My mum went mad about it (not known for her subtle approach).

We all still remember the incident and the teachers name and I remember exactly how she looked. We disliked her bitterly for her actions and her attitude. She was an unpleasant character in general, it was not just a momentary misjudgement for which she was sorry. She had her rules and tough shit if one child fell foul if them, nothing would change her mind on toilet requests.

My sister still has a weak bladder to this day but it wasn't a diagnosed condition when she was 5.

catkind · 13/05/2017 23:08

it's amazing how many are suddenly desperate when it's tidy up time for example.
Which could be playing the system, or could be that when their concentration on their task is broken, they suddenly become aware of bodily needs that have been building. Doesn't happen in DD's reception class though, I've been around at tidy up time a good few times and not seen any toilet rush.

elmer, no idea - iirc one of the previous threads was pulled but don't know why. I meant more in that OP might be able to find extensive discussion of the issue if they searched back a bit. The different responses depending on the age of the kids concerned are also interesting.

StarHeartDiamond · 13/05/2017 23:09

Ps I'm talking 40 years ago but we still bitterly dislike that teacher when the topic has come up every so often through the years.

PrincessLuna · 13/05/2017 23:11

Debbie - surely you are aware that from time to time five year olds may forget to go at break? How can you be so sure you've never had a child wet herself? My daughter has had accidents and been too shy to tell the teacher so has sat there all afternoon wet.

Kids have enough anxiety in their lives these days without stressing them out about needing the loo.

madamginger · 13/05/2017 23:11

My DS is in year one and if I found out his teacher was denying him the use of the toilet at school I'd go apoplectic.
I can go to the loo when I need to at work so why should my children be denied the same curtesy just because they are at school.

Astro55 · 13/05/2017 23:17

I can go to the loo when I need to at work so why should my children be denied the same curtesy just because they are at school.

Do you think the teacher can slopenoff for a wee or a drink anytime they need it as well?

madamginger · 13/05/2017 23:29

Comparing an adult to a child is very different.
A child's bladder is smaller than an adults, they might have less control over the urge to pee, they might be prone to bladder infections or the might just not be able to hold it in for 2 hours.
I'm a HCP, I've seen what a bladder infection looks like in children.

AuditAngel · 13/05/2017 23:30

I'm not sure I'd want Debbieworral teaching my DD2 who is in year 1, nit necessarily due to her harsh line on using the toilet, more because she used the wrong form of their

Elmersnewfriend · 13/05/2017 23:33

Actually yes, I bet the teacher could (and would) go to the toilet if the alternative was wetting themselves.

sunnydaysss · 13/05/2017 23:49

Debbie how ridiculous you are. Control freak

IntheBenefitTrap · 13/05/2017 23:50

If I've ever been desperate to go to the toilet, I've just asked my TA to keep an eye for all of a couple of minutes. It's not that hard.

mrz · 14/05/2017 06:00

Elmer teachers can't just walk out of the class when they like.
I normally say yes if a child asks (you soon learn which ones just want to pop out for a wander an example from Friday "please can I go to the toilet?" "You've just been to the toilet." "Can I get a drink then?" "You've just had a drink." "Can I sharpen my pencil? ... everyone loves a trier ) and always yes on the second asking

icklekid · 14/05/2017 06:08

Most teachers I know and in my school don't have a TA or LSA in their class most of the time. I genuinely can't just go to the loo if I need it. I have to go at break or lunch. Having said that I will always ask a child to ask me again in 2 mins if you still need it. If they do they ask if they don't they are distracted by work and don't ask!

ILoveMyMonkey · 14/05/2017 08:46

Yesterday 23:17 Astro55

I can go to the loo when I need to at work so why should my children be denied the same curtesy just because they are at school.

Do you think the teacher can slope off for a wee or a drink anytime they need it as well?

I do, and so do all the staff in my school, there's always someone around or nearby who can cover for a couple of minutes.

Can't believe that in this day and age there are still people who refuse to let kids pee when they need to. But then I also let them have their water bottles on their tables.

Misspeters · 14/05/2017 09:39

I cannot believe a year teacher would refuse to let a child use the toilet. However as a year 3 teacher, I will admit I dont let them go to the toilet during lessons. By year 3 they are much more capable of waiting until playtime and lunchtime, year 1 though Debbie you are asking for a puddle sooner or later.

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