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Original poster

Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

327 replies

Louise1178 · 13/05/2017 19:33

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

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Misspeters · 15/05/2017 22:10

Precisely maisypops, children never ask for the loo when they are doing something they enjoy. They pass up the opportunity to have a wee at break and then expect me to allow them to go during my lesson.

No children of my own ILovemymonkey.

cookiecakez · 15/05/2017 22:12

Wow the ignorance talk of self regulation and bowels.

It is 2017 m

Ofcourse is misspeters is unapproachable she could have missed someone soiling or having an accident.

cookiecakez · 15/05/2017 22:19

I think you find people with autoimmune or bowel disease or urge incontinence really spend a great deal of time planning - I wouldn't take my boys to a theme park ride as I couldn't see that day through without access to toilets.

The thing is I really don't think you have any ideas how the largest organ in humans work - people really shouldn't hold on - it doesn't do anyone any good long term.

People including children who have urge issues or constipation definitely need to go and shouldn't have to factor in some controlling teacher.

I have a friend whose daughter was collected In wet urine soaked clothes she had wet herself straight after lunch and no the teachers had not noticed and the daughter didn't ask as the teacher didn't let people out of class for the toilet easily - she was 6 years old - this was last year.

MaisyPops · 15/05/2017 22:20

misspeters I can totally see your logic even if it's not an approach I take.
I much prefer 'default is no but exercise discretion'. Because they know the default is no I don't get that many requests, which is ideal. But because they know I'm fair, if they're desperate then I let them go and the genuine ones are there and back, don't ask often, don't mind catching missed work/making the time at break. Personally, I think my way is a bit more half way house and fair without having learning totally disrupted.

I couldn't be doing with this anytime as you like approach.

isittheholidaysyet · 15/05/2017 22:23

How do kids manage queueing for theme parks etc?

Basically it's a problem. We tend to avoid theme parks with big queues because I don't find queueing fun.

But on family days out (4DCs) everyone goes to the toilet as we arrive and probably we make everyone go every hour and a half. In between in each trip we'll probably have a to take a child to the loo.
It is not unusual for us to get to one side of a building/park only to have to go back to the toilet, then once we return, to have to go back with another child who didn't need to go the first time.

(And I'm one of the worst offenders!)

cookiecakez · 15/05/2017 22:26

Also - Thank you to the poster for mentioning Lewis moody I had no idea he had moved to live closer to his training ground to make things more manageable.

ILoveMyMonkey · 15/05/2017 22:38

No children of my own ILovemymonkey. That may explain why your so harsh then and fingers crossed you'll soften with age and experience.

I do find your posts and reasoning all a bit garbled TBH.

You say that you don't want your lessons disrupted which is why you have a blanket ban, but in other posts you say you started your ban when one of your pupils flooded the toilets and that is what made you change your 'policy'.

You also state that you don't punish the whole class for the actions of an individual, but since an individual flooded the toilets you have decided you can no longer trust any child from going to the toilet in class time so have banned them all from being allowed to go.

So it would appear that you haven't always had a policy of not allowing children to go to the toilet when they need to. Did you get it in the neck from SLT following the taps incident?

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 22:46

No I haven't always had a no toilet policy, the incident with the toilets was about 6 months into first year as a teacher. At the time I always said yes, and was given a ticking off by SMT. All of this contributed to me realising that the children have breaks so there is no need for me to let them out in lesson time.

stitchglitched · 15/05/2017 22:57

Apart from being cruel isn't it also a bit counterproductive to refuse to let a child go? How well is a child going to be able concentrate on their work if they are desperate for a wee? Glad I currently home ed after reading this thread but I'd be telling my DS to just walk out the class if this was happening to him.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 23:03

If a child was to walk out without permission they would be sent to the HOY. I have never noticed a lack of quality in their work when I have refused to let them go for a wee.

stitchglitched · 15/05/2017 23:09

My son is already vulnerable, not a chance would I allow a teacher on a power trip trying to control his bodily fluids add to his anxieties. I'd relish the opportunity to speak to the HOY. But luckily even when he was pretty badly let down in school no teacher ever sunk so low as to deprive him of the right to use the toilet.

zoemaguire · 15/05/2017 23:09

God, the last thread was bad enough about teenagers. There are actually, genuinely teachers out there teaching KS1 who won't let kids go to the loo when they ask?!!!! That is genuinely pretty revolting. My eldest at 9 can now hang on for a good while if necessary. But at 6, she was still at the 'need to go NOW' stage. She just wasn't physically capable of hanging on for even 5 minutes sometimes, let alone an hour and a half!!!! If you think it is acceptable to let a 6 year old wait 90 minutes for the loo, you are a disgrace to the teaching profession. I really mean that - it's vile.

zoemaguire · 15/05/2017 23:12

"I'd be interested to see how the children who can't wait 10 mins until the end of class manage when they queue at theme parks, or are in a traffic jam etc."

Er, they can't and they don't! A non-negligible number of 6yos are still having occasional toilet accidents.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 23:14

Zoe Maguire

Vile is a bit strong I teach year 3 and have never had a child wet themselves, so they are able to hold it. I would not make a 6 year old wait an hour and half.

Theresnonamesleft · 15/05/2017 23:24

How do kids manage queueing for theme parks etc?

Planning and at times missing out on things because toilets couldn't be factored into plans.
Theme parks more than one adult so no one lost their place in the queue.
The alternative would have been to leave her to piss herself and I am not that much of a bitch.

I do see some teachers in the school where I work who have this same approach. No. Thankfully there's enough of us to challenge and disagree with this approach. Occasionally a new member starts and starts ooh but it's too time consuming, disruptive, blah blah blah.. When in their class and they ask oh nonames can you watch the class for a moment, guess what answer I give? Guess what answer others give.

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. This isn't dependent on age. Squirming, stomach pains, the risk of having an accident isn't dignified. To beg to go to the toilet? Nah.

Also with regards to children drinking lots during the day. Like another poster said, some of you need to educate yourselves. Lack of drinking water in the daytime can lead to bed wetting, something about within a small amount of time they fill their bladders with water and this effects the messages to the brain. Because generally it's not a day time thing there's no reason for you to be aware that the child wets their
Bed. Again as already mentioned, holding urine in during the day can also mess
Up the night system and again you wouldn't be aware of this.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 23:29

When in their class and they ask oh nonages can you watch the class for a moment, guess what answer I give? Guess what answer others give.

I guess you say no. As a teacher it is different we are often too busy or work though breaks so do not have chance to go for a pee. Children do have the breaks.

stitchglitched · 15/05/2017 23:35

Children can't always wee on demand. They drink during their breaks. It isn't rocket science to think they might sometimes need a wee during a 90 minute period between breaks. And even if they can just about manage to hold it, is that really the criteria you wish to use? They can be anxious, distressed, embarrassed, uncomfortable, in pain. But as long as they don't actually piss themselves it's all good.

MadgeMak · 15/05/2017 23:37

Miss Peter's, did you actually read the extract chunkyjare posted upthread from the ERIC website? I've pasted it below in case you missed it.

Although a pp has linked the ERIC website I will quote directly from the Bladder and Bowel Charity ERIC website

Banning toilet breaks during lessons can also create continence problems when children are forced to hold on or stop drinking and/or eating to avoid the urge to use the toilet. This is from the experts in bladder health.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 23:42

no i did not read it. Until my policy causes problems I will not be changing it.

stitchglitched · 15/05/2017 23:44

So you will let a child be harmed first? That's pretty disgusting actually. Hopefully a parent will intervene soon enough.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 23:50

But a child has not been harmed. They can go before school, if not they wait until playtime. They can go at playtime. If not they wait until lunch and so on. As a teacher I have to do the same

Faffandahalf · 16/05/2017 00:13

Misspeters is bonkers. Sorry but your weird robotic responses sound insane to me.

You sound completely cold towards these kids like literally no understanding of child behaviour and development at all.

Do you not understand that at 10.40
Someone might not feel like urinating but at 10.50 their body does need to wee?

My son is nearly 6 and still has accidents so no he can't hold it in.

DS has such a lovely reception teacher. She's so kind and approachable and they have free use of the toilet whenever they want.

Your mad imaginings of a class of 30 kids all running out the door to go to the loo because you let go of your pee policy is hilarious. I've been teaching for 15 years btw.

Faffandahalf · 16/05/2017 00:14

Oh and I've been a pregnant teacher and left my class many times needing the loo desperately.

My body couldn't contain it and I had to go. Told the kids I would be 5 minutes and knocked next door to tell a colleague. Job done. No drama. Teachers can go to the toilet!

DoctorDonnaNoble · 16/05/2017 05:46

Was going to mention it myself. When pregnant sometimes you have to go. This was one of the things covered in my health and safety discussion at school when I told them. Perfectly acceptable. Let colleague know. Pop to toilet.

Stilllivinginazoo · 16/05/2017 06:00

Reception anytime.year 1and 2 only if do "the wee dance". No chance after that as disruptive.I went in guns blazing year 3 teacher ban extra drinks in hot weather because didn't want disruption toileting needs.there is no afternoon break and my youngest,now 9 has got point won't use toilet at school full stop.
I get you have stop those avoid work,but as adults no one controls when you may go to the toilet.dd2 at secondary has an irritable bladder and has a toilet pass which entitles her to go anytime she needs to