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Primary education

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Original poster

Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

327 replies

Louise1178 · 13/05/2017 19:33

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 16:46

Nope. Still don't understand why you can't start a task and then let them go. Unless your entire lesson is teacher led with no independent work. And no, I wouldn't expect them to miss part of a paid for music lesson to go to the toilet. You really would think primary would be more understanding than secondary. But you seem to really not get this at all.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 16:53

Exactly the way i feel, I do not want them missing lesson time going to the toilet. None of the girls have medical problems and waited unit lunch break.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 16:57

But why the hard no? Why not can you wait 5 minutes and see if you still need it?
In an instrumental lesson at school the entire lesson is teacher directed one to one. I have no problem with a student popping to the loo when they have started on the written element of a task. It is their responsibility to finish it. I will not them go when I am explaining a task or issuing homework. I find your attitude draconian and over the top. The fact it's in a primary makes it worse.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 17:02

Saying I had let them go.

What if tomorrow they ask after a break, Should I allow it again?
What if after they return another group of children demand they are to use the loo?

Letting them go will just make them think I'm not serious about my policy.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 17:06

Well quite frankly I think your policy is wrong. I don't have a steady stream of pupils leaving my lessons. In fact, it's rare anyone asks. I get more cross if they go to the loo on the way to my lesson without asking first. That's more disruptive. I really hope you continue being lucky and there are no accidents in your class. No child deserves that.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 17:11

Never had an accident in the 4 years I have been teaching.

What is your opinions on how deal with situations in my previous posts if I had let the girls go.

What if tomorrow they ask after a break, Should I allow it again?
What if after they return another group of children demand they are to use the loo?

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 17:17

In my experience it doesn't happen. And I think the what if they piss themselves is a much bigger deal than 3 girls missing a couple of minutes of your lesson! But I see we're not going to agree. I've been teaching since 2002. Never have I had an entire class go to the toilet. You are actually lucky that you haven't had a student with bladder or bowel issues. I have. Sometimes students have to go straight away. Maybe look up Lewis Moody talking about his experience of Crohn's Disease.

user1494857952 · 15/05/2017 17:18

I did not do anything as dd did not want me going to the school.

Can I just say that I sort of grasp why they have strict rules in secondary. However I think it disgusting that teachers like Debbie, Vicky, Miss Peters, and the teacher of the op's son do not let young children go to the toilet. So wrong at primary school level

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 17:20

I don't understand it at secondary either. It's a sledgehammer to crack a nut. If behaviour is an issue deal with it; don't prevent children from using the toilet. I often flooded when I started my periods as a teen. That would have been hideous in a school with a toilet ban.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 17:23

If a child had a bladder or bowel problem then I am informed by parents and they are allowed to use the toilet on demand.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 17:24

Well then what's the problem with children going to the toilet in your lesson if they need to?

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 17:27

Because if they do not have a bladder or bowel problem then they can go at break and are able to hold on for a lesson.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 17:35

Quite frankly you're ridiculous. We will never agree on this one. I have now added another question to the list of questions I will ask schools when I'm looking for DS.
Incidentally, I have invigilated an entrance exam at school where a child wet himself. They had toilet breaks that they were reminded about and if desperate can ask to pop to the loo (but don't get the time added). Each paper lasts around an hour with a break between each one. The poor boy was wearing tan chinos. So no, it's not always possible to wait. There are all manner of reasons for a child to need the toilet right now. You have been lucky so far, believe me.

MaisyPops · 15/05/2017 17:40

Can I just say that I sort of grasp why they have strict rules in secondary.
I'm secondary and I think it's harsh to not allow little ones to go if they really need it. But don't think it should be "oh you were busy playing at break so you can miss lessons". It should be allowed but not abused.

At secondary in my experience the rule is "not in lessons" but staff can exercise discretion. So I've had a girl who I knew was bullied and never used the toilets at break, I'd let her go. If they were really desperate and asked me after 15 mins, then yes as long as they worked twice as quick so nothing was missing. If they are serial time wasters/people who sit drinking 500ml in 30 mins and then repeatedly ask to be out as an avoidance strategy then the answer is no. And then I call home and advise they get a medical appointment if they're concerned about drinking/bathroom habits.

Where you get blanket bans in secondary it's often because some staff take "use discretion" to mean "pander to the kids and let them out whenever". Kids soon twig onto who is firm but fair and who they can take advantage of. Understandably, some senior leaders then decide if kids can't be reasonable and some staff are pushover that a blanket ban is the only way.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 17:52

Maisypops.

The reason I have the policy is I once let a boy out and he left all the taps running. Which is why I now only let children with a medical condition go.
If I was a year 1 or 2 teacher then I would allow them to go

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 17:58

Not a reason to prevent everyone. Do you normally punish the entire class for the actions of one student?

user1494857952 · 15/05/2017 17:58

Miss Peters

Would you have let one of the girls go if they had asked again or said they were desperate?

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 18:10

No of course I do not punish the entire class for the actions of one student, however after what happened the time i let the boy go, it is not a risk i'm willing to take.

I would have probably still said no had they asked again. It is only an hour and half from break until lunch

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 18:14

Well, you are punishing the whole class for the actions of one. And all future classes. Good luck to you and I hope your luck holds out. I however, would not be happy if my child was in your class and I speak as a teacher.

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 18:22

Well I have never had a complaint. I explain my rules and If a child has a medical problem the parent just has a quiet word with me and they are excused from the rules. This only happened last year when I had 2 girls who suffered with recurrent water infections, they were allowed to go without even asking permission.

user789653241 · 15/05/2017 18:32

Misspeters, I am a bit curious. If you only allow children with medical needs go, how do you deal with the situation when one without medical needs wanted to go, and you said no, then he/she asks you why XX is allowed and not me? Can you give them reasonable answer without disclosing their medical needs to other children?

tinytemper66 · 15/05/2017 18:57

Today I went the toilet so many times in school. When I arrived, break, lunchtime, just after lunch and when I was leaving. I as unable to hold it in. Tomorrow however if it happens I don't know what I will do as I am teaching most of the day two lots of duty plus before and after school. This is why I let children go to the toilet. However I know who the shirkers are and have to use discretion. [Obviously]

Misspeters · 15/05/2017 19:03

The children with medical problems do not have to ask . I sit them by the door so they can quietly go. If a child asks where xx has gone, I would just say they are running an errand for me. Currently no children have a medical problem so I just say no. I always explain to a new year group that I will only let them go If they have a medical condition.

user1494857952 · 15/05/2017 19:23

Disgusting Miss Peters that you would say no regardless how many times a child asks or how much they say they need to go.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 19:25

Yup. Not on. And it is, quite frankly, sheer dumb luck that there has not been an 'accident' in your class.

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