Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

[Louise1178]

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

Maisy, I think being polite and showing respect is mutual thing.

And I also think if you say you are a teacher on parenting forum like this, I would expect her/him to use proper language rather than dialect or slang which can be mistaken as a poor grammar skill. After all, I can't tell the difference.

I have a lot of respect for many teachers on MN who help us parents. But not for all of them.

I'm a teacher and I'd fully expect a parent to be confrontational if I'd refused to let their child urinate.

Also, it's a very, very basic human right to be able to urinate.

I think teachers who do not let children go to the toilet are really very uneducated.

I have an autoimmune condition my children won't be tested for a few months but they could have it as when they need to go they need to go - there is little warning or time.

Unfortunately some people are really incredibly uneducated when it comes to human digestion and more than likely these teachers who refuse children having toilet breaks have no idea what damage they are doing physically or emotionally.

No idea.

Absolutely no idea.

Asking people to hold in is not a good idea - I would like to see these teachers try concentrate while trying to avoid going to the toilet during a lesson.

I know of a teacher who refused to let a yr 6 go to the toilet. The kid wet themself. They had begged to be allowed to go. I think it is abusive. How humiliating for the child.

Completely abusive - appalling

I'm so shocked there are actually people out there who would deny a young child the use of a toilet! Seriously?! What the fuck is wrong with people?!

Everyone, young and old, gets caught short sometimes, for a million reasons! Going in break times should be encouraged, obviously, but this isn't always possible.

It's pretty mean to refuse and I think I'd be taking it to the head teacher. I'd be fuming if that was my kid, OP.

I agree, it is abusive. If we as teachers heard that a parent was preventing a child from using the toilet so they became distracted or distressed/were in pain/wet themselves, we'd be obligated to report to social services.

Excellent point made - gosh maybe that is what parents who find this happens to their children need to reflect to the school

The teacher had form for nasty behaviour and I tried to persuade the mum to make a formal complaint but she said there wasn't any point (she prob had a point)

I would not stand for this. My daughter is in secondary school and they lock the toilets. A few weeks ago her teacher would not let her go during a double lesson, and then the toilets were locked at the home time. She has quite a long way to travel home, and was so desperate she could hardly walk by the time she got home.

She says the teachers always refuse. Think it is terrible especially with girls if they have their period.

Today within minutes of the class returning from lunch I had 3 girls ask to go to the toilet.

Was I supposed to let them all go? Would those teachers that allow toilet breaks let them all go?

I jut told all three "they should have gone at lunch" and to sit down, they waited until the end of the day.

I would not stand for this

What have you done about it then?

By secondary children should definitely not be going to the loo in class time.

My dds secondary school lets them go if they really need to especially the girls who may be starting periods.

@Misspeters in your opinion. They may have been busy the whole of break (perfectly possible at my school). I'd rather give them the benefit of the doubt than have an 'incident' in my class room.

I do understand teachers saying no, and why. But that's where individual teacher's experience comes in isn't it?

I have a well mannered 9 year old, who I believe don't mess about at school just to get away from work. His toilet needs is irrational.
His school has proper toilet policy, and it works fine.
Yes they should have gone during breaks, but they are only children, especially if they are 5.
To me, some teachers are indeed unreasonable and trying to justify themselves for lack of experience or judgement.

They are year 3 8/9.

They know that I do not let them out during lessons. They had just had break.

Couldn't let one go and not the others could I? so I refused all 3.

Secondary teacher here.
I don't get the angst at all over letting kids go to the toilet. I think primary teachers especially are just being bizarre not letting kids go.
Why do you care?
I let my kids go if they need to. Technically we shouldn't allow them but I am an incredibly strict teacher and they know not to mess me about. They are always back in 5 minutes. Teenage girls on their period need to have the safety and comfort of being able to go the toilet.
As for 5 year olds. Why do you care?
How much disruption can it possibly cause? Just let them go! Teaching is about so much more than this insane level of control and power. In the real world adults can go to the toilet whenever they like and they have better bladder control than a 5 year old anyway. Just ease up ffs

You could indeed have let them all go. I would have asked them to wait until task was set and then let them go one at a time. It needn't be disruptive unless you make a big deal out of it.

Children requesting the loo after a 20 minute break is inexcusable.

You let them go one at a time. It's not rocket science is it. One goes and comes back and then the other one. For gods sake how long have you been teaching? Can't you use some common sense?

Inexcusable!

Lots of things in life are inexcusable. Wanting to go to the loo 20 min after break when you're 8 years old? Not so much.

What if they had to meet someone in that time, or had a music lesson. Or even were just having so much fun they forgot. If it doesn't happen all the time (and my experience is that it doesn't) why is it such a big deal? It would be far more disruptive if a child had an accident!

It was 5 minutes after a 20 minute break.

I would have to repeat what they had missed when they came back. The other alternative is keeping them in at break to go over missed work, and I do not see why I should miss out on my time to have a wee, because they did not go at break.

If they had to meet someone, or had a music lesson they should have said "Can I go to the toilet please as Miss Peters will not let me go during class". They know my policy.