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Original poster

A Valentines disco? For Reception?????

254 replies

nearlythree · 25/01/2007 20:47

The school PTA have organised a Valentines disco - well, two in fact, one for 4-7 year olds and the other for the rest of the school. Apart from the fact that it finishes after dd1's bedtime, I am furious that the school thinks this is appropriate for such young children. I know that Michelle Elliot of Kidscape has spoken out about this trend and I am shocked that dd1's school aren't more clued up. Dh is backing me on this and wants me to see the head about it. Whatever happens dd1 won't be going.

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TenaLady · 26/01/2007 14:51

I like the idea of this in put in a positive manner.

I mean maybe the discussion of loving and caring for others and giving a general description of what this all stands for.

Its here to stay so we all may as well get used to it. The kids love a boogie at a disco as long as it isnt too loud.

tamum · 26/01/2007 14:52

They have these at my children's primary and I have never given it a second thought to be honest, dd loves them. Hmmm, shall I say that the boys all slide around on their knees or shall I just leave it, since I'd be about the 15th poster on here to mention it?

franca70 · 26/01/2007 14:53

I agree with harpsichord, but try as I might, the word disco paired with a 5 yrs oldkind of annoys me

FluffyMummy123 · 26/01/2007 14:53

Message withdrawn

Anchovy · 26/01/2007 15:02

It always pisses me off that other nations have cool dancing traditions. But discos are ours - I like to look on it as a cultural imperative . Only through early exposure to discos are our children going to learn how to dance in an unselfconscious way rather than in the truly, truly awful way witnessed at my office party (although, to be fair, none of the men were sliding around on the floor on their knees).

I'm on the PTA (spent Tuesday evening sitting in the school hall discussing..er... dates for the upper and lower school discos, as it happens). If anyone came and criticised it after we had done all that I would probably cry. Or poke my fingers in their eyes. Probably both. (Doesn't mean to say they wouldn't have a valid point. I'd do it irrelevant of how valid their points were. Just to make myself feel better).

Kittypickle · 26/01/2007 15:08

N3, I see completely where you are coming from on this and I did a bit of a double take (well actually I probably had a complete headfit if I had PMT, can't remember properly now !) when I got a note about the Valentine's Disco when DD was in reception. But I do feel this is really not one you want to take to the head. Not all the children will necessarily go anyway - I thought they would in DD's class but they didn't. I do understand why you feel strongly and see exactly where you are coming from but I think there will always be issues that we see differently to other people. The trick I have found is just to do what you feel right and don't discuss it too much with other people, if you feel comfortable that is the main thing. DD isn't going this year to hers as she doesn't cope well with loud noises, but the idea of it sits much better now she is 8.

prettybird · 26/01/2007 16:22

Should we start a new thread on "why do boys slide around dance floors on their knees"?

prettybird · 26/01/2007 16:35

I think the other thing that people need to acknowledge is that the school is run for all the kids there - and many of them won't have the same views as you.

For example, we have a new group of P1 parents on our PTA. They are very keen, which is great. However, they keep on "complaining" about things that are or aren't done - without first checking wth the school or with other members of the PTA what the actual sitiation is or if they have been considered in the past. Their only experience of the school is through their P1 kids and they haven't yet realised that there are lots of other things going on.

For example, there has been a comment made about the red blaize pitch, "it's hardly ever used - we should use it for something else". It is used regularly by the older kids for football (the very young kids aren't allowed on for their own safety) - both before school, playtimes and during PE sessions. In the summer it is also used for cricket (alternating with football) - which is something the pupil council decided.

SherlockLGJ · 26/01/2007 16:38

I was just as aggravated as Cod my the content of the original post.

So why has Cod been singled out ??

SherlockLGJ · 26/01/2007 16:38

by the content even.

handlemecarefully · 26/01/2007 16:54

Sorry that you feel belittled nearly3 but I think you have misconstrued this disco thing.

I am sure most of the posters on this thread would whole heartedly agree with your sentiments about not wanting our children to grow up too quickly...but I really think the 'disco' thing is a semantics.

It's a party with music - that's all. Probably with a few games thrown in. All age appropriate I'm sure.

caterpiller · 26/01/2007 18:30

I must be a complete ignoramus then because this issue has never occurred to at this age. I am, however, a little uncomfortable with my 12y old ds going to a Valentines disco because that is the borderline age when peer pressure can sweep them along just when they may be having the beginnings of an interest in girls. This is when you need to think about things like this. To be concerned at the age of 4 is, I'm sorry, in my view a joke. .

Original poster
nearlythree · 26/01/2007 20:18

Kittypickle - thank you.

Jimjams, I agree, why should you object to a birthday disco for a six yr old? They are six, not in reception, and if a parent decides a disco is the right thing for their child then fair play to them. This situation is different.

Caterpiller, it may seem like a joke to you but I know there are 6 and 7 yr olds who will turn up at the school wearing make-up, and that isn't something I need dd1 becoming interested in right now, b/c there is no way she is getting any, even for dressing up. Can see why you are concerned though - when I was 12 some of my peers were already sexually active.

I think the reason for a lot of the objection has been b/c I'm annoyed with the PTA. I'm sure yours are all lovely, but at dd1's school they are v. cliquey and unapproachable. Last yr was the first I got to know anything about the school, and some of the people on the PTA committee also went in for a bit of minor bullying - you know, excluding people from conversations, blanking them etc. Some of the dads caused trouble in the pub...a PTA social evening ended up with such a drunken disturbance that residents nr the school have opposed every attempt since to get a license. I believe this yr some of the committee have changed but there is still so much gossip and I think if I talk to any of them it will get around and may harm dd1. So that is why I would have approached the head, b/c I trust him and believe he is professional enough not to let it go any further. However, this is one of the things that I am mulling over due to the kind replies some of you have made.

Btw dh and I are involved with dd2's pre-school committee - we just don't go to any meetings!

Sherlock, we def. disagreed and it got heated, but I don't recall you laughing at me? It's probably stupid of me but every time I woke up during the night (which was a lot) I was dreaming about this bloody thread. I have no problem with disagreements but last night I felt like I was back in the playground with the cool mnetters taking the piss.

OP posts:
portonovo · 26/01/2007 21:33

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

handlemecarefully · 27/01/2007 13:16

Ahhh - Nearly3 - it makes sense now. Part of your motivation is to do with feeling alienated by cliquey members of the PTA. Sounds horrible! - I am sorry that you have to put up with dynamics like that.

I thank my lucky stars that my own village school seems quite friendly and inclusive (only been exposed to it for a term and half though)

crunchie · 27/01/2007 13:36

You know something I am jealous, our PTA doesn't organise anything like a school disco/party/ball for the kids. The fundraisers tend to be disco/party/piss up for the grown ups

Along with teh usual bunfight of school fair (summer), Hollyberry fayre (winter) and massive fireworks night which makes shed loads of cash (about £5- £6K every year) as the whole village turns out (around 2000 people!!)

fortyplus · 27/01/2007 14:23

I used to be Chairman of my son's school PTA.
We always had a Valentine's Disco - we sold pink sweets, jelly hearts etc and naff silk roses which the little ones would buy - usually for Mum or teacher. There was never any snogging behind the bike sheds!
If you don't approve of the event just keep your child away and allow others to enjoy it.
The same applies to Halloween, which a tiny minority views as un Christian. We had a parent who asked why we celebrate evil - why not have an All Saints' disco instead.
My reply?
Not nearly as much fun gor dressing up!

You won't do yourself any favours by complaining to the Head. Lighten up a little

kittylette · 27/01/2007 14:35

PMSL- is this thread real???

jeeeezus! its just a kids party! i doubt they'll be erotic dancers with heartshapped nipple tassels!

i think its just sad... some kids are exposed to things too early and forced to grow up too soon, yes

but shadowing your child, and not allowing them to do innocent childhood things because of a fear you hold yourself - and the way you see things and fear how they could turn out is just as bad!

morningpaper · 27/01/2007 14:51

N3 (I like that!) do you never take your children to Disco's while on holiday?

morningpaper · 27/01/2007 14:53

I would be really jealous if my children got to go to school discos. I was 14 before I went to anything as exciting like that.

(Mind you I do let my 4 year old wear make-up at parties and the other day when leaving the house my 16 month-old looked in the mirror, put her palm out to me and shouted "LIPSTICK!" )

noogles · 27/01/2007 14:58

Sorry but nearlythree, I understand you have a totally different view to the term disco than many others. To me a disco IS a childs thing, if dh and myself are going out to an adult only do its normally called a party but there we go.

Without offending anyone ffs but its a bit of excitement. My ds is nearly four and I have no probs with him going to his school disco.They are supervised an mainly consist of hypo kids running round wearing themselves out!! (not a bad thing imo )

If you dont want her to grow up to soon and you dont feel its right dont send her, but dont complain about it and ruin other childrens fun because you cant get a grip.

Just because she goes to one disco doesnt mean it ruins the magic of an enchanted ball or teddy bears picnic its just another experience for her.

Once again dont want to offend any one but certain things really get my goat!

Original poster
nearlythree · 27/01/2007 15:47

Did I say I wanted the thing cancelled? (I said I knew the head would take it no further...) Did I say I shadow my child? Incredible how judgemental people can be based on one view I happen to hold.

Hmc, that is a good point, I don't feel alienated by them but I do find them unapproachable. They did a lovely shopping evening which I really enjoyed but even there some of them were drunk and slagging off the stuff for sale.

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nearlythree · 27/01/2007 15:50

mp, I would rather have colonic irrigation than go to anywhere that has a child's disco for a holiday (shudder)

I do think though that by the time it's dd2's turn I will have probably chilled a bit - that seems to be how things have gone so far.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 27/01/2007 15:54

N3 you are just too posh

Get down to Butlins and shake your errr booty

The kiddies love it

Boogying with Daddy

It's the highlight of their holiday

CristinaTheAstonishing · 27/01/2007 15:59

DS has been to two discos already. Roller discos, nonetheless. I took my nearly 2 year old too. They both had a brilliant time. Not a lot of dancing involved, just as someone described it below, running around, drinking pop, eating crisps etc. I really enjoyed myself and loved the drive home with 4 excited little children in my car (not all mine!) who'd been out late on a Saturday evening. Nothing too grown-up about it. Really good fun.