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What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

373 replies

Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:16

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

OP posts:
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LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 16:24

Irvine a child with additional needs is equally entitled to an adequate education as any other child. Yes, it is the teacher's responsibility to teach, they are paid and qualified to do this. Parents are not necessarily qualified or paid to teach their own children. Just because a child receives 'interventions' does not necessarily mean they are effective, appropriate or enough. If the homework set by the school is not correctly differentiated, to take account of a child's additional needs, it negates its usefulness.

user789653241 · 30/04/2016 16:45

LagerthaSilverHair, I do understand what you are saying, but she is actually a secondary teacher. Maybe what they can teach in primary and secondary maybe different, but she must know how difficult it must be for teacher to help children who is falling behind. It made me feel very shocked when I saw this lady shouting at her dd's teacher, and wondered why she doesn't help her at all.
(She clearly says she doesn't, because dd hates school works, what you can't do 1-1 at home, how can you expect teacher to do 1-30?.)

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 16:49

irvine maybe her teaching experience has given her some insight regarding what her child is entitled to, regarding her additional needs, and how they should be appropriately handled. Maybe she is feels frustrated and not listened to, which will be doubly galling if she is speaking from some degree of expertise herself. It is difficult to judge without knowing all the facts.

user789653241 · 30/04/2016 16:56

Yes, true. Thank you LagerthaSilverHair. I shouldn't be judging without knowing the truth. My bad. Thanks again for reminding me.

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 17:03

No worries, irvine.

spanieleyes · 30/04/2016 17:03

Crikey, if knowing the whole truth was a prerequisite of posting, Mumsnet would be deserted!

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 17:06

Being able to judge effectively, not post on MN, spaniel. Two very different things.

spanieleyes · 30/04/2016 17:10

So I've noticed

CodyKing · 30/04/2016 17:17

Depends whether this is an isolated incident, sally.

OP - I feel she is coming down with something -

Suggests ill child - and a one off "Don't want to attitude"

Does not suggest that the child has additional needs - or a teacher who is harsh and has only tried loss of golden time -

Suggest DD was rude - and the teacher showed her authority by withdrawing (gasp) 15 minuets playtime -

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 17:32

Whatever, Cody. The OP will be able to decide for herself whether this is the case. At least she has been given a range of views regarding what, possibly, may be going on.

I, personally, think this is far more useful, than a whole host of posters, coming from similar perspectives to tell her off for questioning the teacher's punishment and not ensuring her child is well behaved enough, when that child has developed an illness and is being looked after by someone else.

Moonlightceleste · 30/04/2016 18:09

So when you tell your child she does not have to do everything an adult tells her to, does that include you? Confused

mrz · 30/04/2016 18:57

I'm also wondering what parents do when their children tell them "no" Confused

CodyKing · 30/04/2016 19:36

The OP will be able to decide for herself

I think the OP wanted an outcry of injustice and how dare her little lamb be made to work at school on her lessons!!!

(Either that have the child assessed for additional needs)

starry0ne · 30/04/2016 19:37

There is a lot of talk about additional needs on this thread...From the op posts this child has no additional needs just gets to do what she wants and not what she doesn't...

Does she do everything you ask her op? Eat a healthy diet, brush teeth, wear her uniform, take medicine when required, go to bed? what do you do when she doesn't?

I would also like to add boundries do help kids feel secure..

LemonRedwood · 30/04/2016 19:55

This thread seems to be going the same way as the OP's others. Not everyone immediately agrees with her and demands the teacher's head on a plate so OP disappears.

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/05/2016 02:08

Irvine if we could have just had a break from the homework then I might have stood a chance at teaching him something useful.

You have to take on board that he could not read or write so every evening we would spend hours trying to write essays or sentences. Hours of him painstakingly writing out words he couldn't read. Crying with frustration. I sat with him every night for at least 2-3 hours, I have another dd who equally needed help. Homework in our house left everyone exhausted and emotional.

I did ask if he could do something more appropriate so he could at least try to catch up but apparently that was not on the NC in that particular year.

We tried not doing the homework but he was kept in everyday to complete the homework. So he spent every break and lunchtime staring at a piece of paper.

I should point out that from the September to the week before the half term in February my ds had not actually attended class.
I was dropping him off at school and he was going in the door but the teacher would make him sit in the corridor all day. Things came to ahead when he contracted viral pneumonia and was off school. On his return the doctor had told me that whilst he was no longer infectious he would still have a cough for about 6 weeks. So I armed him with tissues and told both the teacher and TA about his cough. That was on the Monday.
On the Tuesday he did not want to go in, but he eventually went in.
On Wednesday he had a complete meltdown in the car just as a girl from his class was going past. She made a slight quip and them told me what had been going on in class. Apparently he had never been in class for a whole session since September. The latest reason for throwing him out of class was as soon as he coughed he was out of the door.

I asked around the playground and it was confirmed to me that he wasn't in class for a lot of the days. The TA also confirmed what had been happening. That was when I went into the HM office and made my complaint. I later found out some incidents that had been reported. this teacher had stopped the TA from helping a girl who had a bad nosebleed so she bled all over the place. Another girl dropped her pencil just as she was about to start writing in class then was told she couldn't pick it up, then got screamed at by this teacher because she had done no classwork. This was also the teacher who when I got my ds's spellings and I realised he had been given the wrong sheet. I went back into the classroom holding the sheet and before I got a few words out of my mouth she flew at me in a complete rage that I was questioning her and he would do the homework there was no excuse. The tirade lasted several minutes and there was no breathing space for me to jump in to say that I needed the sheet that was for his table not the top tables spelling.

As it happens I was not the only one who celebrated this woman's departure.

MadamDeathstare · 01/05/2016 03:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

calzone · 01/05/2016 03:44

Where has the OP gone?

user789653241 · 01/05/2016 06:58

Oliversmumsarmy, I am very sorry to hear what happened to your ds.
Hope he is happy and doing well now.

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/05/2016 09:29

Having got 2 dc who both have dyslexia, dd has ADD as well the ops dd sounds exactly like my dd without the hitting part. The amount of things she loses on a daily basis is unbelievable. If I was not able to go into her classroom at pick up I think I would have been bankrupted by the amount of uniform that according to my dd had been lost. I am presuming you are the op who is not able to go into the classroom at pick up.
So far this week dd has got her new oyster card replacement but has now lost her purse and iPhone recharger. On Monday she spent 2 hours of a 2 1/2 hour exam trying to remember when she was told about the exam which everyone else knew about and staring out of the window. She is 16.

LunaLoveg00d · 01/05/2016 09:59

So, so glad that my children don't have special snowflakes like this little Madam in their class.

School work is not optional - and you do what a teacher tells you. I would be horrified if one of mine came in and said they'd lost privileges because they couldn't be arsed doing whatever the teacher asked. WHY this little Madam didn't want to do the work is completely irrelevant. Her job at school is to do what the teacher tells her.

The OP sounds like a nightmare parent - if she is going to instill in her daughter that she can pick and choose what work she fancies doing at school then she should be educating her child at home. Having an uncooperative monster in a class - whose parent thinks the teacher should be dancing attention on Madam while 29 other children run riot - must be dreadful.

clam · 01/05/2016 11:01

Hang on, Luna, I think that's going way too far to call this child a madam and a monster. She had a bad day on Friday - that may or may not be a pattern, but it's not unusual for kids that age. Calling her names is unacceptable.

CodyKing · 01/05/2016 11:18

Hang on, Luna, I think that's going way too far to call this child a madam and a monster. She had a bad day on Friday

So OK to suggest additional needs - not OK to suggest children can be badly behaved?

clam · 01/05/2016 11:36

There's a difference between calling out bad behaviour (which many of us have done on this thread) and actually calling the child names, such as madam and monster.

CodyKing · 01/05/2016 11:39

Ok - I love these types of kids -

Always think they'll make great teenagers.