What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

[Classof2032]

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

My dd has similar issues, the school don't punish her, they talk to her.
The difference is mine is 12 years old and doesn't see the importance of education, no matter who tries.
She is currently being assessed as she will do anything rather than school work, especially something she doesn't like or can't do.
I think this is a normal reaction tbh, not one that goes well with school or one that will provide a good basic education, but normal.
How many grown ups procrastinate or do something they don't want to because somebody says they should.
Lots of adults have the occasional sickie because they can't be bothered going into work, need a break or a change?
Some children can't or won't conform and they need help, support, reason and educating why it is important to gain a good education, rather than constant punishment which after all doesn't work for the wilful and determined not to do it type of child.

mom

4 or more people can still be wrong, especially if they are coming from a particular perspective where what the OP is saying is unwelcome. It does not take much of a a stretch of the imagination to think they might seek to purposefully invalidate the OP.

If those threads / posts mentioned, in relation to the OP, were posted by a person with a different user name there is no proof that the OP is the same person.

To prejudicially group all posters together, for simply questioning their children's teacher's actions, into one imagined unhinged poster who just hates teachers, seems rather divisive, to me.

constant punishment? Who said anything about constant punishment? She received a consequence. It's a fairly standard rule in schools, and in life generally, that you finish your set tasks before play.

She received a consequence

I would add - the teacher in all likely hood would have given her a warning of the consequence -

You can finish this now or during break - so she said it - she would follow through -

Not a big deal really

clam

Children who refuse or are unable to conform are punished at school, hence constant punishment.
This is surely what will happen if the OP dd doesn't conform.
I wasn't suggesting it was a regular occurrence for the child, I don't know her.
Just saying that some dc can't conform and punishment doesn't work for them all.

It was before the cardi, she started a thread asking if it was normal not to be allowed to talk to the teacher.
The cardi one was the "why does the teacher hate my dd" thread title (at least something like that.
Lager , op posting style is very recognisable, but namechanging and dripfeeding is not going to get her the help her dd needs.

bruffin how recognisable? Beyond doubt? I am assuming you saying this means that the posts in question are under different user names. If you believe this, the correct action I would have thought is to report your suspicions to MN. One of the reasons this course of action is in the guidelines is because there is a potential problem of people seeking to invalidate anything posted that they disagree with, by suggesting the poster is some kind of troll.

serving only to give her daughter a negative association of school

Being given the choice to work during the assigned class time or during break or golden time is not a punishment. The child is not being punished. They aren't beaten, losing points, being starved. They are given the choice to work during the time assigned to the task, or during their break or golden time. No punishment. A choice. One that every person has to make in their lives - study or go to the pub, work or talk to a colleague. Every choice has a natural consequence, and it's a very valuable lesson for every person to have to learn in their lives.

I chose to leave school at 4:00pm on Friday and meet up with a friend. So I had to do an extra couple of hours work on Sunday afternoon to make up for it. It wasn't a punishment, but a consequence of my choice to prioritise my friend over my work. The work still had to be done, and that meant losing my own time to make up for it. A choice that adults make on a daily basis, and one that all students need to learn within the school environment.

Not trolling, no. It's perfectly acceptable to change names, unless it's within one thread in order to support your own points. That's called sock-puppetry.
It's quite common to be able to recognise posters who have (legitimately) name-changed over a period of time from their posting style or from the details they mention, as in this case.

You are being PFB and you're going to have a lot of struggles if you teach your child that she can pick and choose to do her school work. Maybe you should home educate your child and be prepared for lots of struggles when she wants to do what she wants and not what you want her to do

Midnite so losing break time or Goldren time is not, at all, punitive? Why is this used as a negative incentive then? In fact, if this is not seen as punitive, at all - if the child does not see this consequence as at all something unpleasant, then they might actively prefer to chose to work at break or Golden time. Would this not be problematic?

clam, seeking to invalidate a poster's claims, by referring to posts, posted on other threads, under a different user name, does seem to me, to be very similar behaviour to troll hunting.

This poster has said enough on this thread alone, even though she disappeared quite some time ago, to give us a clear idea of her stance. In fact, she even admitted herself that she's always being called pfb. There'll be a reason for that.

And Lager, you too have quite a distinctive posting style. I'm sure I recognise it, although if so, you must also have name-changed.

clam PFB is a term I have only really come across, on MN. On here, there appears to be a bit of a vested interest, in accusing posters of being PFB, if what they are saying, could at all, be remotely suggested to be critical, of any member of the teaching profession.

ooh, who am I clam? Am I an integral part of this imagined hive mind of PFB, teacher hating, bad parents?

What op has posted about her dd on other posts is relevent, especially as previous post under this name was about losing golden time. There is a history of behavioural problems which op is constantly trivialises, which is relevent to why her dd has missed golden time.
I dont think anyone thinks OP is a troll fwiw, but as i said above her previous posting history on the same subject does matter if she wants to get good advice.

Is this the OP who thinks her child should be able to earn back golden time after hitting another child?

Lagertha - with the greatest respect the child's biggest problem is her mother's attitude. AS the OP. Even if special needs are present, without a major shift in attitude from the OP the child will struggle more than necessary.

bruffin when I first advanced searched on the OP's user name I did not go back far enough. On searching back further I found one other thread. On reading that, what is comes through most pertinently to me, is that these sanctions are not working for this little girl and that she really struggles to concentrate on her work within the classroom environment and behave within teacher expectations. So why, on earth, are alternative solutions not being sought, to support this child in what she finds difficult? Instead of the same kind of sanctions repeatedly being issued.

This child has a right to an appropriate education, regardless of her mother's apparent 'trivialising' of her daughter's behaviour. Added to this mother might not see her daughter's behaviour as an insurmountable problem if she is able to successfully manage her child's behaviour at home so problems do not frequently manifest. It will be extremely frustrating, in this case scenario, if her experience of dealing successfully at home with her daughter's behaviour is not taken seriously and dismissed, out of hand. She holds valuable information regarding her daughter's needs and abilities - she should be listened to by the teachers and not avoided at all costs.

Also finding out your child has additional needs can be extremely difficult for a parent. It can affect the hopes and aspirations they hold over their child. A lot of parents describe the experience akin to grief. Does this OP not deserve any degree of compassion? Additional needs present or not, the worry concerning her daughter's negative experiences at school must be huge.

It's always been the same username Lagertha , and always the same pattern. And OP never returns to the thread. Just posts a new one complaining about the school and the teacher. Quite tiresome.

Whether it is tiresome or not, Lemon, I think it sounds like the OP clearly has being going through some extremely difficult and stressful experiences. The aggressively critical style of some of the posts, on this thread and the other I saw, would not have exactly encouraged the OP to continue posting.

There was a name change lemonredwood.
Legartha
She is not going to get the help the child needs if she is in denial that what her child is doing wrong.

through some extremely difficult and stressful experiences.

No she isn't - she's choosing to make a big issue out of something quite small and normal -

bruffin schools have a legal responsibility to make reasonable adjustments and cater for the additional needs of children, regardless of a parent's attitude. This little girl is entitled to an appropriate education regardless of her parenting.

Schools are legally obliged to spend an initial 6k of funding (which buys approx 12 hours per week of 1 to 1 support in many authorities), per individual child, to cater for any additional needs before top up funding is even applied for. Parental efforts, in seeking help does not necessarily effect the support a school is able to fund, especially in the early stages of discovering additional need.

This seems to be typical of primsry schools' approach now.