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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Children told off after Nativity.

152 replies

Sweetsecret · 15/12/2015 08:14

Hi everyone,
Just need a bit of a rant etc.
Went to my dd''s year one Nativity last night.
It was fab, all the kids had a great time and the parents all enjoyed it.
Until... the kids came back out of their classroom after getting changed out of their costume with a lot of them crying and most of them looking quite deflated.
Apparently their teacher had given them a really big telling off saying their behaviour was disgusting, ' that your parents may let you behave the way you want to, but I am your teacher and I have never had a year 1 as bad as you!" She singled out a few children who were on the "good list" and the rest of the class were told that she was disgusted with them and that they are now banned from doing any Xmas activities for the rest of the week.
I sat and watched the play and the kids were amazing, they sang their songs really well and did their reading and considering 12 kids didn't actually turn up and they had to cover their lines they did amazingly well.
We didn't finish until 7pm, so after a long day at school they did brilliantly, all of them.
It has just left a really bad taste in my mouth.
My Dd (5) came home and said I wasn't good in the play tonight, miss xxxxx said so.
Is it me or is this really uncalled for?

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differentnameforthis · 16/12/2015 11:16

maybe she needs to toughen up, it's a cruel world out there' And children need to learn this at 5, why exactly??

and the head said "they deserved all that they got." Nice. I wonder what the bullying situation is like in that school, because the teachers sure are good at it.

Well I think the head's & the teacher's behaviour is disgusting...telling a group of (very possibly) tired, emotional, ramped up 5yrs olds that they are excluded from the party because unlike 12 others, they actually bothered to turn up & perform their little hearts out, along with having some fun. And Add in being rude to a mother who is looking for clarification.

Why are adults (head & teacher) holding a group of 5yr olds to higher standards than they themselves are displaying?

RamblingRedRose · 16/12/2015 11:26

Are they still excluded from the party?

I still remember going to my Head Mistress in primary school in floods of tears because a group of boys were bullying me and she told me to stop being such a baby and go back to class immediately (the teacher had left us unsupervised). I still think she's a bitch for that.

Original poster

Sweetsecret · 16/12/2015 11:36

They got their party, and also were told how wonderful they were in their play was, so I think they are backtracking a bit.
It's the attitude of the HT that has annoyed me the most now.
Funnily enough you mention bullying my DD has been dealing with bullying this year and actually the school have been very good, although it's the dept head I have dealt with regarding that and she is more empathetic.

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Original poster

Sweetsecret · 16/12/2015 11:43

The bit that makes me laugh was the HT's daughter was at the play and we couldn't hear a lot of the lines because her DD was making a right fuss! The irony was hilarious. But hey we all know children get bored and tired.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sweetsecret · 16/12/2015 12:03

Rambling a similar thing happened to me at school over a school play actually. I was asked last minute to go on stage and it was my worst nightmare as I was soooooo shy so burst into tears and I got frogged marched down a corridor and had the hair dryer treatment, unfortunately she didn't realise my dad was watching the whole thing! You would hope times have changed.

OP posts:

LauraChant · 16/12/2015 13:30

The toughen up thing is dreadful. I'm reading a guide to delivering the Early Years Foundation Stage at the moment and it has a quote from LR Knost: "It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless."

Original poster

Sweetsecret · 16/12/2015 14:18

Laurachant good quote, would be good if everyone had this logic.

OP posts:

wheelofapps · 16/12/2015 15:05

My child has endlessly been told to 'toughen up' by a school that lets rampant bullying go on.

If that sort of behaviour was displayed in the staff room, they would soon be bleating to the Union.

Somehow, some teachers think children have less rights than they do and act accordingly.

bodenbiscuit · 16/12/2015 15:31

I think the teacher was wrong. 5 is still really little and the build up to Christmas and having to break their usual routine doing play rehearsals and then back into class etc is hard going for them. Not to mention that it's a long term anyway.....

To say that they have to miss the Christmas party is beyond harsh and she sounds like a bitch to be quite honest.

Feenie · 16/12/2015 17:32

That's a ridiculously goady post, wheelofapps -clearly you are upset about your dc's situation, but having a general go on teachers on a completely different thread isn't going to help.

Feenie · 16/12/2015 17:34

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 16/12/2015 18:18

Hair dryer treatment?

Shutthatdoor · 16/12/2015 18:29

Somehow, some teachers think children have less rights than they do and act accordingly.

Ridiculous thing to say.

user789653241 · 16/12/2015 18:50

I think a lot of poster wasn't happy because of the language the teacher used, the punishment she gave, and the circumstance of this situation.

I can understand the expectation of teachers, they are only doing this to make children and parents happy. Dealing with lots of 5/6 years olds is hard work.
I still think making them feel bad after the great, fun performance is not nice, but I really don't want this thread to become teachers vs parents!

IguanaTail · 16/12/2015 18:52

they would soon be bleating to the Union.

Unions are utterly spineless. The bullying of teachers by the public and by the government is appalling. Teachers have nobody to turn to.

user789653241 · 16/12/2015 19:08

IguanaTail, I do have negative thoughts about teachers sometimes, but I still do respect them very much.

wheelofapps · 16/12/2015 19:27

I'm not 'having a general go at teachers' I am saying that the behaviour described on this thread seems bullying and I have witnessed it too.

Bullying of children, not teachers.

If you find that 'ridiculously goady' then you seem rather sensitive for the job?

IguanaTail · 16/12/2015 19:46

Your use of the word "bleat" is loaded, Wheel. The irony being that teachers have practically no support mechanisms and therefore nobody to listen to, far less act upon their concerns.

Children have different rights because they are minors. I think most people know that. They do not have the same rights as adults. They also don't have the same responsibilities.

Teachers are constantly vilified, ridiculed and scoffed at on MN. It's becoming quite the hobby for people to raise a concern or a viewpoint for discussion and then for posters to pile on, Lividing and Raise Merry Helling... each one more disgusted and appalled than the last. It's quite a pantomime on occasion.

mrz · 16/12/2015 19:49

if a parent told their child they were disgusted by the child's behaviour and as a consequence they wouldn't be getting a treat is it bullying wheelof?

IguanaTail · 16/12/2015 19:50

And it's "fewer" not "less" rights.

wheelofapps · 16/12/2015 20:13

I use the word 'bleat' as it seems like bleating to me.
You are free to disagree, of course.
I didn't mean to be 'goady' but if you find it so you can always ignore me.

mrz it can be, rarely, but it can be. But this thread is about a teacher.

Iguna I bow to your superior grammar - you are correct, of course.

Perhaps teachers could 'toughen up' like the 5 year olds are being advised to?
If the Unions are really so useless then it may be the only option (or to re-train?).

wheelofapps · 16/12/2015 20:16

sorry, if it seems like bleating.

Didn't say you were 'bleating' but certainly occurs in the staff room of my kids school and I know that is not unique by any means.

mrz · 16/12/2015 20:18

In what circumstances would/wouldn't it be bullying for a parent to withdraw treat as result of poor behaviour?

IguanaTail · 16/12/2015 20:30

58% of teachers plan to leave in the next 2 years. At that point I think it will be parents who will have to toughen up as their children's schools will be filled with temporary supply staff and unqualified teachers. Let's hope nobody is "bleating" then!

Feenie · 16/12/2015 22:41

If you find that 'ridiculously goady' then you seem rather sensitive for the job?

I see. I point out, on an internet forum, that your post is unnecessarily inflammatory (followed by others) and from that you extrapolate that I'm perhaps not quite suited to.my job?

Does your bizarre logic often make you look ridiculous?

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