Confessional: I've booked an 11+ tutor.

[recyclingbag]

Starting in September, DS will just be starting year 5.

I have done this purely out of panic
a) if I didn't they'd all be gone by the New Year
b) everyone else seems to have one in some ridiculous arms race
c) I never want to feel like I somehow failed my child but not giving him the support we are capable of.

I'm disappointed in myself to be honest. I always swore he'd get there on his own ability or not at all.

It's a county grammar, so takes about the top 20%

I'm only posting here because I can't tell anyone in real life.

I don't think my views are especially unusual, Rash. There are others on this thread also saying they've managed the 11+ without paying for tutors. And it's rather rude to suggest I've 'turned it into a soapbox' for my views - the OP asked for opinions, and I gave her mine, just as you did yours. They differ - get over it. Not everyone agrees with you.

mrsplum - I agreed with the OP because she gives her reasons for tutoring her dc, rather than implying that everyone ought to - in fact, on the contrary, she started this thread because she didn't feel comfortable with it at all. From her description of what she already does with her dc, I don't think the tutor is going to add much at all as she already does most of the things you'd want to do if preparing for the 11+. She doesn't fall into the category of someone who unthinkingly employs a tutor because 'everyone does'. Nor does she fall into the category of those who leave it all up to a tutor, either. Which is why I strongly suspect her dc will be successful.

LilyTucker - you wrote:

"CEM exam technique isn't written down in any book and how exactly do you identify gaps? It's been like getting blood out of a stone as regards finding my dd's gaps."

If there was a book that explained all of that, would you buy it? Or would still insist on getting a tutor to work their 'magic' for you?

There are books (and websites) that do indeed cover this - how do you think tutors know how to tutor? How do you think I learned how to do it?

OK pink, which books do you recommend?

Massive ROFL @ pink calling me rude

Pink is obv using this thread to gauge uptake for her new book

Not sure how buying pinks book is really any different to paying for a tutor. Oh yeah, silly me. You'd be lining her pocket.

No I wouldn't ever rely on a book.

A book doesn't know my child or work with him.

I'm sure there are those who managed without tutoring at home or elsewhere.I suspect they are those with kids in schools who cover the maths and English in plenty of time before the exam. Ours didn't so we tutored.< shrugs>

So we've established the tutoring guidelines

1. all kids are the same, if a minority of kids get in without tutoring they all can
2. tutoring your child means they'll deprive an equally able child and therefore you don't care about the child who misses out
3. the system itself is unfair, therefore any parent just doing their best for their child, like we all do, is responsible for the unfairness of the system
4. if you need to tutor you'll be scraping in and they should suck up the alternative
5. tutoring yourself is acceptable, paying someone else ( like a cleaner, childminding, food production etc) is not
6. a grammar worthy child should be able to access the material themselves
7. pinks business information and books is the best advice you can take. Glad I've now solved the whole grammar debate, I'll tackle the nhs next

Pink, I hear ya!

Love it Lurked

I'm happy to have influenced your mail reading mindset rash

Lurked, good précis. Your inference skills are exemplary.

Haven't read the whole thread but I don't see the issue with getting a tutor at all.
I had a tutor for a year before sitting the 11+ I was offered a place at both a grammar school and a full scholarship for a private school. I would not have had a chance at passing the exam without the tutoring. I had never sat an exam before and knew nothing about verbal reasoning not to mention exam technique.

I was never out of my depth. (Was in top sets for everything bar maths and passed my all GCSES with A&B's) I was bright enough to be at the school but my parents didn't really know how to sufficiently help me to get through the exam.

Good-oh recycling, you know it's best to take the word of an online randomer over your own opinion and everyone else's so now I've shared my wisdom you can sack the tutor! Good luck with it all

Lurked you would make an excellent education minister!!!!

You did the right thing OP. We are going through the pain now. My DD has reached her potential BC of the tutor I feel.