Confessional: I've booked an 11+ tutor.

[recyclingbag]

Starting in September, DS will just be starting year 5.

I have done this purely out of panic
a) if I didn't they'd all be gone by the New Year
b) everyone else seems to have one in some ridiculous arms race
c) I never want to feel like I somehow failed my child but not giving him the support we are capable of.

I'm disappointed in myself to be honest. I always swore he'd get there on his own ability or not at all.

It's a county grammar, so takes about the top 20%

I'm only posting here because I can't tell anyone in real life.

WhattodowithMum has summed it up for me.

There is no way that my DS's school will cover the 11+.

There are 30 children in my DS's class, 4 applicants per school place, the other primary within walking distance is even more over subscribed (it used to be the most over subscribed primary in England). In class quite rightly the TAs are sat with the children who are struggling, but where does that leave boys like mine who do as little as possible and still acheive the expected level?
The school has excellent SATS results but children like my son are not taken through the 11+ at school as there is limited time and resources. State schools don't publish the destinations of their leavers, but they do publish their SATS. So if you were the school what would you put your resources into?

I'm always interested in how many passed 11 plus, alongside SAT result. Tbh though that's all skewed as our lovely MC school has mostly tutored children.

The school think they have done a great job and boast about sat results.

One of last years leavers had three and half years of tutoring plus parent help. He scraped in. I'm not convinced he will be enjoying the fast pace. It's super selective here though so six sessions with a tutor won't cut it. The preps here take at least 60 places! People also move house if they get in.

All v depressing.

To quote myself "That smells like the school isn't teaching the national curriculum well enough or the student isn't able enough."

Clearly if your primary school is at fault then you must do as we all would.

We're lucky, but that hasn't stopped the arms race.

Actually I don't think it stops the arms race at all.

Our primary school is good but most of us also know children at local prep so are acutely aware of differences.

As I said in my OP, my main reasons for starting in September are to make sure there is a tutor with a space and also to make the process more relaxed than a panic at the last minute.

There are people who say 'oh we just did a few practice papers in the summer holidays' and it then transpires they were doing 2 hours a day and cancelled their holiday.

45 minutes a week sounds far more relaxed to me.

I also agree that it very much depends on the child as to whether they will struggle.

DS has never really tried his hardest and I want to give him the chance to see what he can do, rather than writing him off as not bothered or never believing in him. I can't do it for him though. It's different to a child who has always tried their very hardest but is still only just meeting expected levels.

I am still undecided whether DS1 will do better at the top of a lower ability school than middling in a higher ability but at least this potentially gives us the choice.

We made the decision not to get a tutor for DD, who is due to sit the equivalent of the 11+ in 4 months time. She is in the minority of her class and we thought long and hard about it.

In the end, we decided that she was more than capable, and she responds well to our feedback and guidance. I work PT so that I can spend time helping with homework.

We also thought it was important for her confidence to be told that we didn't think she needed a tutor, although left the door open if she wanted it, or if there was a particular area where we / she felt extra assistance was needed.

I think it is a personal choice, and neither decision is right or wrong.

Dd was asking for a tutor as so many others were being tutored in her class. She just wanted to level the field a little. I would doubt if I am honest that she will be top maths set at a grammar school, so on that dimension you could argue that she won't be doing as well as if she was top of a comprehensive. Having said that her English is very good and I think that she will give most girls a run for their money on humanities too - which although they might not set for are other key subjects.

I can't imagine that the girls who don't know that they are sitting the 11+ are in a grammar county, maybe going for a superselective. Dd1 found out about the 11+ in yr1 when a sister of one of her classmates passed it. It has been a hot topic at school since yr4. I can't imagine how , tutor or no tutor, anyone with a chance of passing in her class could have missed the fact that the 11+ is looming. We have been vague about exactly when it is but I imagine that she will find out the exact date when she goes back to school next term from someone in the class.

Her school is a good school but I imagine that the extra tutoring must inflate the SATs, although it probably inflates them all around here. Not sure what difference the new curriculum will have I am not even too sure whether the 11+ is following the old or new maths curriculum. Probably should find out.

I'm never sure why people feel guilty for hiring a tutor if you're in a secondary modern county. I'm totally opposed to selection but if I was in Bucks or Kent and couldn't move then of course I'd do whatever it took to get DD into a grammar school.
Incidentally there was an article in the Times today by and MP extolling the virtues of grammar schools in promoting social mobility( a myth disproven by endless research). Perhaps he should read this thread?

Don't feel guilty about it. DS is bright but was adamant he didn't want to sit the 11 plus until 2 weeks before the exam. We didn't push him to enter as he has had some hideous melt downs about homework plus he is in a bright cohort with not many deciding to do the 11 plus this year. We're outside the catchment for the Grammar but traditionally some local children go, less and less each year though as the Upper school is improving and we felt he would on balance benefit from the extra time in middle and being in higher sets in Upper School.

He basically went in cold having done one timed English paper and a cursory glance through Maths, NVR and VR as my FIL fell and nearly died and the Psychiatist was seeing my Mother as she was delusional and we just didn't have a chance to do anything other than his school homework.

He didn't pass by half a mark, i'm very proud how he did during a whole morning's worh of testing on 4 papers with pretty much no preperation, I still am not sure the Grammar woukd suit him but he has changed a lot this year and now hasn't got the choice now so given my chance again I would have done a few sessions with a tutor. He pulled off a L6 in Reading and Maths in SATS so his confidence has gone back up thank goodness. I'm vaguely considering trying to get him in at the end of Middle School as sometimes spaces crop up. If we try this there is no way on earth that we won't get a tutor this time or put in a reasonable amount of time ourselves, learnt my lesson.

That a child that is achieving L6 SATs in Reading and Maths doesn't pass is many shades of wrong.

SPT - it sounds like his alternative is good. Did you appeal given the circs leading up to the test?

Certainly in Kent, there is a very good case for appeal there. His school record (incl his L6 SATs) and the circumstances leading up to the test. Have you spoken to the school about a late appeal?

I know someone that did a late appeal in Kent last week. It may not be too late.

I thought about it for my dd, then didn't tutor, or put her in for exams, as I didn't want to put her under pressure. She went to the bog standard academy a five minute walk up the road. We are now waiting for her GCSE results and her predictions are very good. So much so, she has got into the sixth form of the GS she would have gone to in year 7, under her own merit.

Go with your gut instincts.

To the OP. Nothing wrong with aiming for GS.

I have six weeks off as DS is taking his exam in 8 weeks. Whether he gets in or not, does not matter. The journey is just as important as the destination. Besides, if it is a CEM test, then kids generally need extra help on these, as they are not curriculum based tests.

Keep on trucking.

Ime it isn't just about bright or less bright kids. In our last state school many children in top set or managed to pass 11+ without private tutors often have certain characters. Quite often these dcs are reasonably obedient to their parents and will accept to do extra homework set by their parents. I very envy and respect their parents. However I don't think those parents feel they have to pay for tutors should deserve less respect as they are only trying their best for their dcs in difficult situations.

OP, I live in Kent. And when my dc were young, I was firmly of the view that if they needed coaching to pass the 11+ they wouldn't be suited to a grammar school education. Then I found out more about the test - that it doesn't test on what they've learned at school.

My eldest dd would have failed - in fact her CATs scores at the end of year 5 were down in the 90s for the non-verbal element. Yet six months of coaching meant that she got the highest possible mark in the NVR when she took her 11+.

Is she grammar school material, given that she needed coaching to pass the Kent Test? Yes. She's on her grammar school's G & T register, and has been awarded a number of prizes including highest achiever completely unstealthy boast. Mind you, I dread to think what she scored in her CATs at the start of year 7 .

It annoys me that society is so judgemental that you feel you can't tell people in real life and I sympathise. DD is at an independent school so I get judged on 'selling out' too. If the tests were in Maths and English my DD would have no problem but i don't think it fair where the tests are NVR and VR which if you go into an exam never having seen them you are at a disadvantage and it is only fair you are giving your DC a chance. Do invest in a good tutor though, some may do more harm than good. We ditched a tutor and now doing it ourselves, even though I work full time as DD is very motivated. Proof of this method is unproven as she is due to sit tests in September, gulp. Also research the admissions criteria well as there is nothing worse than sitting the exam to find that based on distance you don't get in even if DC passes. Take a look at the elevenplusexams site for more information.

Thanks Rashdecision. We didn't appeal at the time as were going through a huge amount of stress still at the time.

I have just spoken to them though and the Admissions lady was actually sort of encouraging about trying an In Year Admission in September .Food for thought. 6th form is an option too.

Petts, yes society is so judgemental. I am fed up with the fact that caring parents at all levels are constantly being criticized. All parents are bad people if they choose prep schools or pay for tuitions or push their dcs at home or buy a house in expensive area close to good schools or being working class unable to support their dcs because of lacking time and resources or whatever.

timeandtimeagain, that is exactly how I feel.

I have many friends who have bright compliant children but mine isn't. He's no less intelligent (maybe more so) but telling him to put down what he's doing and do his 10 minutes a day is almost impossible.

The CEM test was supposed to be tutorproof but from what I can see it is anything but. Although it relies less on year6 curriculum it is all about speed and accuracy so those children who have been taught exam strategies and done lots of practice will perform lots better.

In its favour, it probably means you can't teach a child who is not capable but overall I think it probably divides the capable children into tutored and non-tutored by default.

I've tried many books, mathsfactors, khan, bbc bitesize and many other websites and printouts etc etc...... My dcs just wouldnt do any of them or pay any attention to any tasks i gave them. My dcs however always do homework that given by their teachers. Just unfortunately that too many teachers dont believe the power of homework.

We are coming to the end of y5 and have unashamedly got a tutor in to do exam practice.

The best thing you can do is get your dc reading old books that use flowery descriptive language

I am currently reading The Secret Garden to him.

Hurrah!

The area I live is crazy for tutoring.
They all have it for at least a year ahead of the 11+ test.
My daughter took the test 5 yrs ago and no one we knew was tutored.
We practiced some of the test papers at home a bit and she got a great score but then declined the place in favour of the local comp.
Was her choice and she has done great. A and A* predicted.
My stepsons who did go to the grammar school have done no better academically or socially.

Lk26, that would be my preferred option but it's all grammar and secondary modern here so it feels like a starker choice.

When we moved here our children were babies so we didn't really think about what we would do for secondary.

Besides, I went to the local grammar and it was fine - I just didn't realise how much the system had changed in 30 years

The best thing you can do is get your dc reading old books that use flowery descriptive language

Not in Kent, the comprehension in the English paper last year was non fiction about dolphins!

SPT- that's great news re an in year admission

Ahhh thats how ds got in. He can't stand flowery text.