To write letter to request DS has a particular teacher when he starts reception in September

[BingBong36]

I have another son that is in year 1 now and I really disliked his reception teacher for various reasons (so did he). She has a very stern approach, there is a job share and at parents evening they totally spoke over each other etc and I just didn't warm to her. My youngest son is very sensitive summer boy and I really love the other reception teacher and feel he is best in her class.

I am going to write to the school to request this but how do I word it?

Thanks

I apologise bing though I still think it's a bad idea and you're not listening to advice from people with direct expertience / expertise

TBF, OP, you phrased it as "to write letter.." which is an AIBU phrasing!

I never said she cannot do her job!!! I said her stern approach would not suit my DS, he will only have just turned 4 and I know he needs someone a bit more sensitive.

The other teacher has a reputation for being great with the younger ones.

Yonic... Forgive me for phrasing it wrong but seeinbhas I posted it in 'primary' and not AIBU it's a bit of a giveaway.

'Seeing as'

Not really, Bing, lots of people just click on threads from Active and don't necessarily look at Topic.

OP I would love you to have five minutes with my absolutley brilliant job-share primary teacher sister. She could put you straight on the subject of job share teachers

And yes, I read the title which is phrased as a AIBU style question - that's what threw me! (thanks Yonic I thought I was going a bit mad!). And yes, it was on my "Active Threads" list

I don't care about job shares, but this job share so obv doesn't work, contradicting each other on parents evening is really unprofessional. Job shares work or they don't.

Yes as I said if loads of parents were avoiding me despite the glowing onservations then I would want to know why. But OP is not spreading playground gossip about the non preferred teacher. She is confidentially asking for her own set of reasons. She is not trying to undermine anyone's professional reputation. Seriously I do not know how people survive in this profession without a very thick skin. Mine is like rhino hide.

Bing if the head agrees to your request, when in reality you don't have a concrete reason eg training or experience, the head is essentially saying that she isn't up to the job.

When my ds started school in reception I spoke to the head, she mentioned that the teacher he would be getting was very experienced in SEN and early years practise so she'd deliberately put him in her class. Well of course she body did as my ds is very challenging . However she hadn't really finished her sentence when she blurted out "but Mrs other teacher is very good too" She immediately realised that she was making out that one teacher wasn't as good as the other, even though there were training differences, which could hurt the other teacher's reputation.

Reputations are difficult to repair. I'd have more time for this if you'd put a complaint in previously about the other teacher.

Oh poo, I thought from thread title this was an aibu too.

The thread title makes no sense really does it?

Anyway.

I have to say I thought this was in AIBU. The thread title makes absolutely no sense otherwise.

Yy to that post Tiggy.

I think that's why a lot of posters are answering the title (do it/don't do it) not the OP (here's some tips on doing it)

I have prepared my son, but id like his first year of school to be with a more nurturing teacher.

The head teacher will know that the two reception teachers are very different. One very stern and the other very nurturing.

Why would the head teacher be pissed if with me for saying I felt my son would be best off in me's x class? I'm not saying anything bad about the other teacher to the school.

I haven't read the whole thread but I think you could think about this and approach it slightly differently. You could give the information about your child and what their temperament, behaviour and nursery experience have been. Then suggest that you feel that a certain approach teaching wise would be the one your child would respond to best. The head may then come to the same conclusion as you re teachers, or equally have other suggestions to make, nothing to do with the teachers. This way you avoid taking it to a personal level, asking for one teacher above another, which is probably not acceptable.

You won't be the 'talk' of the school if the ht has an ounce of professionalism. If a parent were to come in and request one staff member over another (by implication criticising the other) it should never be broadcast!

I would not go there though. I'd wait it out. In reception the role of the TA is higher profile than further up the school (ime) and if there's a cuddly TA then he may settle with them.

Really, I'd keep my powder dry for 'requests'/concerns in later years.

OP

do you think it's fair that parents who know the teachers get to put in requests that parents who don't wouldn't be sufficiently informed to make?

You've said nothing about Ms Stern's job share btw - is she/he stern too?

If you make this request, the school will HAVE to say that they cannot accept any personal requests for or against individual teachers. This will be because it would be impractical to allow everyone to do this, because most might prefer one person rather than another. It would be wrong of them to accommodate your desire and not that of others - can you see that? And it would be wrong for those with prior knowledge of the school to get to have an influence based on prior knowledge which other parents lack - can you see that? YOU cannot be given preferential treatment.

Schools are big places and your son will be one of many. Classes will be formed to get a mix of ages, perhaps abilities and backgrounds. He is one of many and you are one of many parents too. You are going to have to realise that personal preferences really cannot be considered about these kind of things. Any Head who has worked in a school for a while will know that pandering to your kind of request is opening a can of worms and LOADS of trouble for the school in future from the parent body - it is simply not possible to satisfy everyone's personal preferences which is why it is not possible to accommodate even one, if it is just preference, which yours seems to be.

Why come on here is you aren't willing to hear what people think? Doesn't the fact that huge numbers say your idea is daft and cannot be accommodated tell you anything?

Your son will be fine with the other teacher. Remember that liking a teacher isn't the key thing for learning. And he may love her style, even if your other child or you didn't. He might love her style......as long as you don't give him any kind of suggestion that he won't, or that she is wrong in her approach. You need to back the teacher up, whatever their style.

So wait and see. You may naturally get your preference anyway...or not. And as others have said, only go to the Head when you have a genuine concern about the school, not just a personal preference....you really need to appreciate the school just cannot accommodate your personal preference, because it would be unfair to do so when they cannot offer or accept that from everyone.

And finally you say you'd 'like his first year to be with a nurturing teacher'. That's fine, you are allowed to have that preference or opinion. You are absolutely not entitled to expect anyone in the school to be willing to listen to that view or to consider it, UNLESS everyone has the chance to express such a preference. Even thinking it is okay to ask this and expect some kind of action on it shows a total disregard and lack of appreciation for schools as bigger institutions meeting the educational needs of very many children. It is NOT all about you or your son.

Good post CW.

My school would be receptive to hearing parents views because they want to set up all their children to succeeded. I'd probably request that he goes with nice teacher because he's quite a sensitive soul and you feel he would struggle in the other class.