Don't want DS to be seen as "clever"

[andnowforsomemoreofthesame]

DS1 has started Reception in September, as according to his teacher, he is the most advanced in the class in numeracy, and is in the highest group for literacy. Although I'm not too bothered about academic achieving at this age, I don't like the idea of him being in the highest group.

Even though the teachers are clearly stretching him, I would like him to be in an environment where he is closer to the average.

I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear, and I'm aware some people will just think I'm an idiot. But my point is that I hate to see people saying "clever boy" and things like that to him. I don't want him to think he is clever or better than anyone. I would like him to be in an environment where some children will be more clever than him, and where he won't be praised so much.

I'm saying that because I grew up thinking that I was clever, and it wasn't good for me. I am intelligent, but no one told me that intelligence is useless without focus, persistence, effort and a lot of other things. Today I like to be in a place where people are more capable than me, where I can learn. (and I have no proper career, which proves that being only intelligent doesn't get you very far)

I think he is fine where he is by now, but maybe in 2 or 3 years I would like to change schools. He is in a regular comprehensive primary (in London, and the range of abilities in his class is huge), and we can't afford private. I've heard I can try a grammar school when he is secondary age, or a scholarship in a private school. But is there anything I can do before that?

Any suggestions? Anyone in a similar situation? Any places I could take him after school or during holidays where he can be in contact with really clever children (because I'm perfectly aware DS is just an intelligent boy, not a genius)?

If you think I'm totally wrong, please don't flame me. Tell me WHY I'm wrong (if you CBA). I've changed my mind regarding education so many times in the last few years that, believe me, I'm open to different opinions.

Thanks!

And a normal childhood is definitely what my friend has strived for for her DS.
She was in denial for many years, which is why he remained in his primary well passed its sell by date.

But his normal is very different to other peoples. And he has been much happier since that has been embraced.

Have you seen this article:

www.khanacademy.org/about/blog/post/95208400815/the-learning-myth-why-ill-never-tell-my-son-hes

I have some of the same worries for my daughter because my experience was that I coasted through A levels. I find this article encouraging.

I read an article a while back about a woman whose father paid her when she failed at something, I can't find it now, it was eye opening. Googling just brings up a load of stuff about dads failing to pay child support!

I don't think a four year old would be likely to perceive himself as clever unless his parents had given him this view. It's your attitude which is the key here I think, certainly for years ahead and maybe for all of his schooling. A lot of school life for children is not about academic stuff, so even if he is ahead of his classmates when he is 8 it may be that he will see this as less important than being good at football or having built some really cool stuff on Minecraft.
The school will have seen all sorts, and will be most unlikely to label him as clever, particularly at 4. He may be the most advanced in his class at numeracy but that doesn't mean he will be the most advanced child they have ever taught
In the years to come being intelligent might mean anything from a bit ahead of average to miles ahead, and there is no way of predicting how this is going to pan out. Some of the youngest children in the class will probably catch up, and some of the children with English as a second language will probably acquire excellent English and also catch up. My experience is that anything other than miles and miles ahead can be dealt with pretty well in a normal primary.
And if you are in an area of London which doesn't have many grammars then the comprehensives are truly comprehensive. Many of us will send all our children to our local comprehensive, clever or not. That means a normal London comprehensive will include a lot of pretty clever kids.
So I think nothing to worry about at the moment, and possibly nothing to worry about at all.

There are actually 8 or 9 different types of intelligence according to dr Gardner