Should I complain about this teacher?

[Allisgood1]

Dd is in y1. She is a early birthday (sept) so oldest in her class. She is also very very shy. It probably took a couple months for her to speak in a whisper at nursery and a month in reception.

I had parents evening the other night and DD's teacher had the following to say:

*dd is in the lowest centile in maths
*her writing and reading are in the bottom third of the class.
*she has flagged her to the SENCO because of her age and performance.
*when I mentioned she's always found numbers difficult and I've often wondered if she's dyslexic with numbers she said "it wouldn't surprise me if she is dyslexic. Does it run in your family?"
*dd does not respond to adults, ever. Not even non vocally.
*dd will be having a speaking and listening group as "she needs to learn to respond to adults"

I don't think she had one positive thing to say and I've run through the conversation over and over in my head. Prior to talking to the teacher I had a quick chat with the head who said dd was starting to respond to him, albeit very quietly, and that at an assembly she answered his question quietly in front of everyone. Quite different to "she doesn't talk to teachers, ever".

Dd has a tutor and I've asked her about her performance levels. She says dd is exactly where a child in the autumn term of y1 should be and that she doesn't understand why teacher was so negative. She said dyslexia shouldn't have been mentioned.

Do you think I should go to head teacher about this? I feel the teacher has a v negative attitude towards dd and has flagged her being shy as an issue.

Yes she answers comprehension questions and questions if asked (I.e. Show and tell).

Teacher, how did you get your dc diagnosed? Is it something I should be doing? I am hesitant to place a label on her but equally if it helps her then I will.

She's come home today and said "I am challenging myself to use my big voice in school". She just came out with it, we weren't even discussing school!

I think she is being very supportive she has identified issue saved put some intervention strategies in place I think you are being a tad over sensitive looks like she's on the Balkans pro active

Schiool got Ed Pysch in. Conclusion was acute anxiety leading to selective mutism, an autism spectrum disorder to be further investigated..

I don't know whether to cry or laugh if I read that report 8 years on, as DS is a typical, loud teenager, not remotely anxious, very able, teachers love him, excels in languages at school (especially verbal work) and very, very few ASD traits. He is no longer a selective mute, anxious or regarded as having possible ASD - though under stress, he does still show some ASD traits.

What helped? Period of Home Ed, followed by a school move. It genuinely was school-induced, and turned out to be induced by a specific school, not by school in general.

To those of you from other countries - (who's children start school at a more sensible age)
You will probably be shocked when you realize that the child being discussed here is probably only:
5 years old (6 at the most)

Targets and expectations (not to mention tutors) - at the tender age of 5/6????
Such pressure at such a young age.
At this age, children should be enjoying themselves!

But that's just my opinion. What do I know?

Sorry, came back to add - the ed Psch report wasn't as definuite as 'your child has selective mutism'. Lots of 'consistent with / possibility should be explored' type of language.

Niorman, tbh, I agree with you about the tutoring. However, I do think that the unusual lack of communication that the OP's child seems to show in school IS worth investigating at a young age - because it is out of the normal erange for this age, but early intervention may well have great results (as it did for my DS - without the ed Psych report at age 5/6, we might well have delayed withdrawing DS from that school, and his anxiety and his response of silence could well have become so ingrained that it might not have been so successfully reversed). The selectively mute child I taught as a Year 1 now speaks normally, the one who only started to be diagnosed / investigated as a child in juniors has progressed less well.

She's 6. And I agree, it's madness. We will likely be leaving this country over the next couple years and going to one that starts school at a later age. Believe me when I say I won't be pushing to have her placed in the same year that she's in here. That unfortunately changes nothing about the shyness issue that needs further exploring.

Re: tutor. What is wrong with being proactive? I avoided getting one for two years (yes, since nursery) but hearing "your child is on the 3rd centile in maths" only confirms my suspicions that there is something with her and numbers. The tutor is a teacher herself (reception now) and is fun. Dd enjoys it and asks for her. It's not a bad thing.

Dancing they can't diagnose dyslexia prior to the age of 8.

This isn't true. Dyslexia can be diagnosed earlier than that.

If you read posts from many ex pats with young children in schools around the world you may be surprised at how gentle they see our early start compared to those that start slightly later.

I'm not british and I think what dd is doing here is no where near what she would be doing in my country. She would only just be learning to read!

agree mrz. Just because it is called Kindergarten et al doesn't mean it is a softer option or involves less learning. There is still pressure within the system and issues around early/over diagnosis of SEN if a child does not conform to expectation.

It's not the "when" but the "how" Allisgood.
I know teachers (originally from other European countries) who have expressed surprised at the gentle start to school in the UK compared to their home countries having previously believed our early start was "cruel" and have said they much prefer our approach.

out of curiosity can I ask which country you are from? From what I know of friends abroad their nursery settings from 4-6 are really no different to our foundation class, perhaps Yr1 is slightly more formal but they will be doing at least the same amount of maths and reading and writing even if it is in a slightly less formal setting.

Being moved down a reading level at the start of the year isn't unusual either, many teachers do it because the 6 week break causes children to slip back if they haven't practiced and it also gives the teacher a chance to check they really are secure at that level before moving them on. it can be frustrating but to be fair to the teacher if your daughter is too shy to read in anything other than a whisper then it will be hard for her to assess.

From what you have said she is happy enough with friends etc it is just in the classroom she doesn't want to speak, have I understood that correctly? Is she very scared of rules and authority? could she be really worried she might be told off for doing something wrong or giving the wrong answer? I don't have any experience of selective mutism (other than a friend's daughter) but it would sound like it all comes down to self esteem and confidence. Could you perhaps work really hard on that at home and see if it helps?

Sorry have not had time to read the full thread, but I think at least the teacher has identified areas for concern and has put things in place to help. Much better than a teacher who just says she will catch up eventually.
Does the tutor know what methods they are using in class? Is there any danger that if the tutor uses different methods to her teachers, your dd may end up more confused. At your daughters age I think maybe if you could incorporate more indirect learning into your day to day life, playing number games, helping with shopping etc might be more useful than a tutor.
btw - Is you tutor a part-time teacher, as I know none of my teacher friends would have time to tutor when working full-time.

This is a very interesting paper: www.nfer.ac.uk/nfer/publications/44410/44410.pdf

I'm american. My mom is a speech therapist for the school system and did a lot of assessing Dd over the summer (hearing check, phonics, auditory skills, etc). She agrees that it's more of a confidence issue. I asked dd directly if she finds it hard at school and she said she does.

We have done number/coin/shopping games to death.

The tutor is a full time teacher. She only tutors a couple kids (including dd). What they are doing matches up with what school have told me she needs work on. I also work with dd in the week when time allows (difficult with an 11week old!).

We will get there.

Does your mom work in the UK or US school system?

US. I also went through that system.

Then you will know that reading instruction is v different and that phonics teaching is nothing like UK SSP

I think the teacher forgot the importance of a shit sandwich - in other words - positive, negative, positive

Schools generally don't like to part with their cash if the child with suspected dyslexia is in infants. A school waiting for issues to iron themselves out by junior age might save them selves a bob or two

Why would a school have to part with cash if a child has (suspected or diagnosed) dyslexia?

I am confused about the OP being given this view of her child from a state school teacher. I am surprised any teacher saying a year 1 child is in the 'lowest centile" in maths and in the bottom third for reading. This would make me wonder if the normal targets are being used which do not put a child in a position within the class. My DDs prep school did group children into class positions. Top 25% was the scholarship group for example. These descriptors do not take into account how bright the other children are. Being in the bottom third for reading actually means very little if you do not know what level the child is actually achieving.

I would go back to the school and ask for her levels and expected levels at the end of the year. See how this matches up with national expectations.

MillyMollyMandy there aren't any levels (or national expectations for Y1) they were scrapped when the new curriculum was introduced and schools are free to use assessments systems of their choice (including percentile rankings)

MillyMollyMama*