Should I complain about this teacher?

[Allisgood1]

Dd is in y1. She is a early birthday (sept) so oldest in her class. She is also very very shy. It probably took a couple months for her to speak in a whisper at nursery and a month in reception.

I had parents evening the other night and DD's teacher had the following to say:

*dd is in the lowest centile in maths
*her writing and reading are in the bottom third of the class.
*she has flagged her to the SENCO because of her age and performance.
*when I mentioned she's always found numbers difficult and I've often wondered if she's dyslexic with numbers she said "it wouldn't surprise me if she is dyslexic. Does it run in your family?"
*dd does not respond to adults, ever. Not even non vocally.
*dd will be having a speaking and listening group as "she needs to learn to respond to adults"

I don't think she had one positive thing to say and I've run through the conversation over and over in my head. Prior to talking to the teacher I had a quick chat with the head who said dd was starting to respond to him, albeit very quietly, and that at an assembly she answered his question quietly in front of everyone. Quite different to "she doesn't talk to teachers, ever".

Dd has a tutor and I've asked her about her performance levels. She says dd is exactly where a child in the autumn term of y1 should be and that she doesn't understand why teacher was so negative. She said dyslexia shouldn't have been mentioned.

Do you think I should go to head teacher about this? I feel the teacher has a v negative attitude towards dd and has flagged her being shy as an issue.

OK so new baby has clearly had an impact here.

As for meeting as soon as a concern was raised, I wouldn't necessarily expect that. Handover information is passed on and teachers then use their professional judgement. What if the reception teacher had left the school? I think you are too focused on things you think staff have done wrong, instead of focusing on how to help your daughter.

Getting someone into school who specialises in SM may not be the best course of action. I would liase with the senco because they probably already have contacts in this area. Marching in like you are the expert will do you no favours.

I know there wasn't a handover because the SENCO told me. She also told me she will have a meeting with reception and y1 teacher to determine what they did last year. She wasn't aware of dd last year because she wasn't there. The head and SENCO apparently have observed dd prior to the parents evening. This is a good thing, as now there is a course of action for her. It's a small school, one form entry.

I specialize in teaching children with special needs. That is what I do. The treatment for SM involves specialized professionals whom I know. I'm not even sure if that's the problem here so I'm holding fire as the school seem to have a good plan in place. I've agreed to review at end of term.

As I've said down thread, this isn't about the content of the meeting so much as the seemingly negative attitude I felt this teacher had towards dd. As someone else said, bedside manner accounts for a lot. When I need to tell a parent a number of concerns I always make sure I insert positives. The teacher came across to me as annoyed that dd is so quiet. That isn't helping.

I'm not a teacher. And I don't think homeschooling is for us.

You seem very happy to take the word of those not directly involved. It would be very poor school practice if new teachers didn't have access to all relevant information for all members of their class. If the school is not providing this then it is perhaps something you need to take up with the head. Whether the Senco is aware of every conversation between teaching staff is very doubtful.

I asked "has anyone spoken to last years teacher" and the answer was "no". Why am I getting the flack here? I'm well aware that dd is shy and am supportive of interventions being put into place to address this. What I am not happy about is the attitude.

There are a lot of people on this website who will ALWAYS defend a teacher's attitude and approach unless it is extremely abusive. It sounds like your daughter's teacher is not particularly sympathetic and doesn't have a soft touch. You should follow your instincts about what will be most helpful to your daughter; you know your daughter and you know the teacher. No one on this thread can understand the subtle nuances of what has gone on.

"Of course her 'being shy' is an issue. Can't you see that? It's an issue in itself and it's causing her to either fall behind or not be able to display her ability."

I disagree with whichever poster made this statement. Shyness in itself is not the issue. I have a very shy DS. He, however, responds well to teachers and other staff, he responds to his peers, he is very able and demonstrates his ability through his work. His shyness is just one feature of his gorgeous personality.

The teacher may have been more abrupt than you would have liked (and I do think she could have prefaced her concerns with a positive or two) but you are being informed of potential issues early, when there is still plenty of time to put appropriate interventions in place. Many parents let down by their primary schools would welcome this.

Good luck.

Sorry but have been on the merry go round of SEN for a number of years now and a handover is meaningless...

My son has had everything from starting a new school with no info to the teachers in his year group being ones who know him. Every teacher approaches him with their own skills and experience... As they should.

I used to be a midwife and whilst handover is useful it was my responsibility to review everything and make my own judgement on the situation. If you don't you miss stuff.

As I said year 1 is very different to reception - last years teacher won't see what the year 1 teacher has because she wouldn't have expected DD to do those things as its not in the EYFS. I would have struggled to hear it but now I prefer to know the worst... Helps me to understand.

And for what it's worth I prefer an approach like this teacher than a reassurance...

Reassurance doesn't get the job done... She isn't your friend - she's a professional

Have you asked about a Common Assessment Framework ? This can be just an internal document (not involving external services) completed by you and staff. Then it can move along with your daughter each class she goes to and gets reviewed/added to.

I would be asking for another meeting with the teacher so you can have a longer chat and try to sort out intervention and an action plan. (10mins covers bugger all when your child has some issues to address). If not satisfied that there's an action plan then move onto the Head teacher.

Don't go in ranty, which I am sure you won't. Then you'll know if it was one off blip with the teacher or you have good reason to be concerned about their attitude.

I think the only sensible way forward is for you to book a longer meeting with the SENCo and the class teacher to discuss your daughter in more detail.

It sounds as if what the school is putting in place is good, but I can understand you needing further information - and you may be able to provide further information that is helpful. For example, having taught a couple of children with selective mutism as well as having a DS who was temporarily a school-induced selective mute, it may be helpful for you to identify particular children or e.g. a particular TA who your daughter talked most happily to, as these may be the key to getting your daughter to speak more, both in the planned intervention and more widely in school life.

One element of your reasoning seems to me to be the following, though:

• You found the Year 1 teacher's approach clinical and somewhat abrupt.
• You didn't warm to her.
• You therefore think it likely that your DD hasn't warmed to her.
• Your DD will only speak to those she likes / loves.
• This is your explanation for why your DD isn't speaking in this teacher's class.
• It is therefore the teacher's fault that your DD doesn't speak in class, and to solve it she needs to make herself loveable to your DD.

As I say, my DS was a school-induced selective mute - because his class terrified him (tbh I used to read with children in the class, and I didn't feel that comfortable myself), and the teacher was not effective in creating the order and certainty he required, as a child with many ASD traits. So I can understand the feeling that 'this teacher is MAKING my DD like this'.

However, I did also understand that there was an underlying 'issue' in DS that contributed to the problem. It isnt a sustainable position for your DD to, essentially, require everyone to be loveable to her in order for her to speak. That's not the position a teacher - especially as a child goes up the school - needs to be in [I am not remotely loveable, as far as many of my class are concerned. But that doesn't stop me from being an excellent teacher.]

Thanks teacher.

I already agreed to review this with school at the end of term. There is an action plan in place that I discussed with the SENCO which includes dd being given a 1:1 who has a personality the kids seem to take to.i think my suspicions about the teacher are potentially fueled by other parents telling me that their dc don't like the teacher and don't want to go to school. She apparently "shouts a lot". I do realize I am not there, however. One thing te SENCO told me is that she observed dd outside the classroom and said she is a completely different child. She's confident, loud, and outgoing. I am so confused.

When I taught one particular selective mute, the most frustrating part of the day was to see her reach the school gates, meet her mum, and run screaming, shouting and laughing along the road, yelling to her friends or calling to her mum.

The 'selective' bit, even though it may well not be under the conscious control of the child, can be baffling, i agree.

Do you think that your DD's problems with Maths, reading and writing are linked to her extreme quietness in the classroom? (As in, she is assessed has having low ability due to the fact that she doesn't speak) Or do you think that it might be the other way round - that she knows that she finds the work difficult, that she doesn't know the answers, that she doesn't see how things work, so that makes her anxious and she ends up being silent? It might be worth looking at the two parts separately to see which is the chicken and which the egg...

I have no idea teacher. No idea. That's what I am trying to work out.

If I look at her history, being extremely shy since a very young age, wouldn't play in the big frames at soft play, clingy, taking longer than average to warm up, still cries if I drop her off somewhere new..all that shouts selective mute and anxiety to me.

I have no idea what to do next. GP?

How many times did she observe your dd, in what situations and who with?

My social anxiety disorder flares up in some situations and not others. If you never saw me in the situations that cause me to freeze I coukd probably pass for confident and outgoing. Possibly something similar is happening for your dd.

She observed her once with the headteacher. Both in and out of the classroom. It is true that she freezes in the classroom but is a completely different child with her peers on the playground. I've been told that since she was in nursery. She just always eventually did talk in those settings.

OP, you clearly think you are right and no amount of input from anyone here is going to help so as you clearly think everyone from the teacher to the mumsnet jury should blow smoke up your jacksie, here you go
"You are right. The teacher should have ignored your daughters shortcomings and praised her only, go and rant to the headmaster about how all the teacher did was try to set your daughter up for success when you wanted meaningless praise"

Zeeboo, please read the thread before spouting. I never fucking said she was wrong. I said some of her comments mismatch what the head and her previous teacher said and she had not ONE positive thing to say.

This is someone's child. Not an object. Have some respect.

Early years and year 1 can be such different settings there could be any number of reasons this particular class is causing her an issue. More structure/she has less control, higher expectations, teacher she doesn't particularly like.

I think you probably need to have a chat with the teacher where she has fewer time constraints and you haven't just been surprised by a list of issues.

Sorry haven't read all this thread..But I went to a parents evening last year where no one posotive thing was said about my DC. My DS was sat next to me during this meeting. I didn't want an all singing dancing report but one where they recognised my DS's strengths and weaknesses. To be honest it set the tone for the whole year. I refused to go to parents evening again and explained why.

I have been to parents evening again this year, different child, comes home excited about school. So I don't think there is nothing in it however I really don't know what complaining would do

"I asked if anyone had spoken to the last years teacher" you clearly are willing to believe the SENCO is aware of every conversation that takes place in the school highly unlikely I'm afraid however Passing on information isn't always verbal ...

Sorry to nit-pick but in your first post about transition you said "It seems there was no handover between reception and y1. I asked the SENCO and she didn't seem to think there was either." - Later it changes a definitive fact that it didn't happen - "I know there wasn't a handover because the SENCO told me." I only quote these as I was double checking previous posts before commenting again. But before you raise this I think you need to be certain.

If you still want to complain there is nothing to stop you, but you must follow the school's complaints procedure. If you don't know that procedure check the school's website or contact the office for a copy of the policy.

As a Y1 teacher I talk everyday with Foundation Stage and Y2 staff (although I very much doubt other staff are aware of the subject of our conversations) this combined with EYFS profile data and Learning Stories provides a very clear picture of every child.