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Original poster

confused! suspension/exclusion?

151 replies

DeadMansBones · 20/12/2013 17:50

I was phoned by my sons school today and told that I must collect him due to an emotional outburst and that he couldn't stay at school in the frame of mind he was in.

of course I immediately went to fetch him, not sure what kind of state I was going to find him in. he was actually sitting calmly in a chair a bit tearful. it seems he had been asked to read out his homework to class and had refused and been rude and uncooperative. obviously this is unacceptable and we will be dealing with his behaviour.

i asked if he would be able to stay at school as he had calmed down and were told no the decision had been made that he was to go home.

what I am confused about is the school have said that this is not a suspension/exclusion, my husband spoke to the school when he got home from work and they said that it was agreed with me that it would be best for him to come home, this simply isnt true I specifically asked if he could stay at school.

my feeling is that they had lots going on today (school panto etc) and just didnt want to deal with things properly.

can they just send kids home without formally suspending them?

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tethersend · 21/12/2013 00:21

Yy, particularly if the school has a social/medical admission criterion- if involved professionals are able to write letters in support of an application to a particular school, this could help a great deal.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 00:23

Well it 'could' take 6 months, if you are lucky, with a supportive, proactive school and their carefully documented evidence.

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 00:25

thank you all so much for the advice, I feel like I can meet with the school and have a bit of confidence in what I'm saying. I've trusted the school up until now to have my sons best interests at heart but they have clearly been letting him down

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MrsS1980 · 21/12/2013 00:47

Which agencies are you working with dead man? A CAF should only be in place if school plus 2 external agencies are involved. Also, it is a process not a form so there should be agreed actions with completion dates in place.
In terms of the illegal exclusion - that could be a support mechanism in itself as opposed to sticking q load of fixed term exclusions on DS' permanent record.
Good luck and I truly hope you find whichever strategy works for you and your family.

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 00:53

not working with any agencies yet, we filled the forms in a couple of weeks ago with the school family liasion worker, not had any feedback yet

OP posts:
Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 00:56

oh and the liasion worker referred to the forms as CAF forms, I'm really not that clued up about it all but am trying to learn as much as I can.

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 00:57

Who requested the CAF and why?

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:05

when we asked what the next steps should be the deputy head basically plonked us in a room with the family liasion and she suggested the CAF

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 01:08

Why? What were the reasons given?

Were there any reasons given?

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:11

the way it was explained to me was we needed to fill the forms in to get ds outside support, they would decide what extra support ds needs from the answers on the form, something about building a team around the child?

is the caf a bad idea?

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 01:22

I don't like them, because I think they often add a layer of complexity to something that should be fairly simple, they cause delay in anyone actually DOING anything and IME can be used to pass the buck round and round the agencies, whilst looking like expensive intervention.

They also tend to focus on support for the family rather than the child, which is often inappropriate but also often cheaper.

But that is not what they are supposed to do and sometimes they can be very helpful. I wouldn't worry now it has happened. At least no-one can say your Ds can't have support due to lack of one now.

Who was present?

HoopHopes · 21/12/2013 01:23

A CAF can be a great idea as if you read up on it it is a process. It should follow strict deadlines of timings and a meeting with all agencies involved - so you, family worker, school nurse might be a good idea, SENCO etc. As a result of this there should be agreed outcomes and actions!

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:25

when we filled out the forms? me, my mum and the family liasion worker.

I dont feel like we need support as a family, the issues are at school.

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 01:29

That's not a CAF, that's a stealing your personal information under false pretences act Confused

Were there any outcomes?

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:34

nothing yet, the outcomes she put on there that they want to achieve is to help ds cope with his emotions better.

there really wasnt much information to give we have a really rather boring normal family life, all the issues stem from school.

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Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:35

was it possibly pre-caf forms we completed and the actual caf hasnt happened yet?

the school dont seem to be doing anything in the mean time

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 01:35

Did you put plenty of that on the form?

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:38

yep the form was filled in honestly, there was a section for his teacher to complete as well that I havent seen.

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 01:44

Did the family worker say when you'll see the teachers bit? Did she say what happens next?

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:48

she said its just a case of waiting, dont know if I get to see the teachers bit.

so can you get a statement or ed psych assessment via the caf or is that a seperate process.

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StarlightMcKingsThree · 21/12/2013 01:54

It's a separate process.

Waiting for what? Yes you can see what the teacher has written. Of course you can. Why should you not?

Do you have the name and address of the family liaison worker?

Original poster
DeadMansBones · 21/12/2013 01:59

she is based at the school.

I dont know what we're waiting for tbh, who makes a decision once the application has been made?

from what you have said it seems like an ed psych is the path they should be going down since his issues are based at school.

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GoodnessKnows · 21/12/2013 06:03

Haven't read entire thread but my gut feeling is that your DS was embarrassed. Terribly embarrassed and felt vulnerable - hence a defensive and emotional outburst. I'd be looking at that and enlisting (demanding) the 'help' of his teachers with that. Schools (I'm a teacher) often view (blame) a child's behaviour on the child's own personality, home issued, any bloody issue - rather than by acknowledging their part in things.

OneInEight · 21/12/2013 06:40

Things that the school could / should be doing to help the situation:

  1. Put your ds onto school action - maybe just paperwork but the LA will probably expect this to have been in place for two terms before they will even consider giving a statement.
  1. Ask for your child to be seen by an educational psychologist to see if she can establish the underlying reasons for the emotional outbursts and more importantly make recommendations for how they might be reduced.
  1. Provide a safe area for your child to go when he is feeling stressed (this is worth trying although once the child is getting stressed they may not be able to access it).
  1. Provide one-to-one support to teach your son how better to manage his emotions - there are CBT type approaches the school can use. This might help a little. There are services like Integrated Support Services who school can call in if they do not feel they have sufficient expertise.
  1. Give your son an Individual Behaviour Plan - all incidents of emotional behaviour should be noted and the background to each incident so that potential triggers can be identified. The school should have a strategy for how to manage your son so escalation to having to be sent home does not happen. For example, one sign my son was becoming stressed would include rocking on his chair at which point he could be removed from the classroom for a short period to destress.
  1. Give your son an IEP - this can be used as much for behavioural issues as for academic ones. Achievable targets for behaviour can be set out in this and the type of help that is needed for your son to achieve these specified.
  1. You need to ask school whether there are any other issues as well as the emotional outbursts e.g. does your son have difficulty making friends, can he work within a group, is he clumsy, are there any sensory issues etc. If there are then a referral to a Community Paediatrician might be in order. The best way to do this is via your GP.
  1. If the emotional problems continue then a referral to CAMHS might be valuable. It took us over six months to be seen by CAMHS so worth getting a referral now even if you think it might not be necessary. Again, go via your GP.

9 It is best to try and work with the school but if they prove to be uncooperative then you can ask as a parent for statutory assessment (model letter on IPSEA website) which will provoke them into action even if it is a bit premature at this stage. You can get a statement on behavioural and emotional difficulties so do not let anyone tell you that as your son is academically OK you will not get one.

I will always wonder that if more help had given to my son at an earlier stage he would have been able to continue to cope with mainstream. Good Luck!

GoodnessKnows · 21/12/2013 07:22

Is the following relevant / of interest?
m.bbc.co.uk/news/education-17404382