How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

No monkey "choice" doesn't enter into it.

"But I don't think anyone with a modicum of intelligence can start to judge an entire sector of education based on what a handful randomers say pool side."

I agree. But that's how loads of people judge state schools!

Of course the correct answer is " oh that's interesting, why's that ?"

Then she can spout off her opinions & hopefully, look a prat...or not as the case may be.

My Fil doesn't believe in private schools either, he thinks everyone is entitled to a good education. Interesting as his son went to a grammar school .

Is it really thought seeker?

Most parnets who use private school have first hand knowledge of the state system. Either they went there, or they have DC still there, or their DC's used to attend, or they teach there.

There can only be a diminisgingly small number of people who can genuinely base their views on poolside comments made by randomers.

Funnily enough the only person I have ever heard slagging off state schools in general in real life was at a mumsnet do.

No. Not telling

I agree with Willowisp re what your answer should have been. I've been reading this thread and it's only just now occurred to me that I had the same thing said to me a month ago at a drinks party.

The difference was that I wasn't really offended, and discussed it with the man who said it. It turned out we agreed on most of the issues! Also, we have a specific reason for sending DC private, as the OP and many others do, and this man hadn't considered that there might be other issues (besides basic 'privilege' or snob factors) driving such decisions.

The only real answer to the swimming pool woman's comment is along the lines of "oh, right". There is never anything to be gained by trying to engage someone dogmatic in any kind of rational conversation.

You will be stuck with such comments for as long as your son is at an independent school, so the best thing is to shrug them off. If you're happy with his school, someone else's prejudices (or 'principles') are totally irrelevant.

"I'm afraid I would have said "I'm sorry, I appear to have misled you. I was just answering your question, not inviting your opinion." "

Love this. Will try to remember for future use, could come in handy in lots of situations .

Erratum: read Katherine Birbalsingh's book if you want one tory woman's opinion about a school she taught at and how fit she is.

Has knackers all to do with anything actually real.

Katherine Birbalsingh is a knobber.

Wow, this thread only started this morning!

People can be so rude, can't they? Whenever someone I don't know very well gives me an opinion that I didn't ask for, I usually smile and say "I won't take that personally". They usually apologise :)

Thread should be called 'how to deal with rude woman at swimming', because that's what it really is.

But the rudeness is part of a wider social phenomenon, which is prejudice against those who choose prviate education. Just look at the way threads on here about it generally go - there is always some nasty piece of work who pipes up and says that prviate school is for the "thick" kids who couldn;t cope in the state sector. Like the OP I have chosen private for a child with ASD (and no, i don't feel lucky either) and I find these comments absolutely vile, but even when i point this out, no retractions are made.

Yes, like I said before, a private education gets you nowhere due to society's insane prejudice against it. Just look at that nice Mr Cameron, for eg.

I see; so because we have a privately educated prime minister, calling children you have never met "thick" - even after being informed some of them have actual disabilities - is OK.
I'm sorry but I do think to believe this you have to be actually quite horrible.

Yes, that's exactly what I said. I just chose to say it in a completely different way, using completely different words which had a completely different meaning. Probably because I went to the wrong sort of school. Luckily, you managed to decode it.

Wallison, once again you are making the assumption that private education=Eton. I can assure you that the school experience for the vast majority of kids attending independent schools is hugely removed from the experience of young men at Eton college.

Making that assumption is akin to saying that state school kids are loudmouthed, sweary thugs from the toughest estates with no interest in education. Such kids maybe make up 1 or 2% of state school pupils so it would be ridiculous to equate a small extreme with all children at state school. Why is it then that the kids whose parents pay 12kpa for their kids to attend a well resourced or needs specific day school are held up against 30kpa bastions of privilege such at Eton?

I do apologise, Wallison; I must have missed your robust condemnation of the sort of remarks I described.

Quite telling that people like Wallison actually never do condemn the nasty remarks about privately educated children (unless prompted); just continue to attack. but there's no prejudicee there at all, of course. perish the thought.

I wasn't aware that my condemntation was required - I was simply commenting on the terrible prejudice that besets people who have been to public school in every walk of life. I sometimes wonder how they can bear it.

But we are not talking about people who do have done well in adulthood as a result of prviate education. I am talking about children being called thick, and other insults, even when they have been told that some of these children have learning disabilities.
yet you persist in talking about something quite different. i wonder why you do that. well actually, I don't; it's perfectly obvious.

Not sure the op even considers she is bestowing privilege on her autistic son by paying god his schooling. I'm sure she's far more concerned over hum drum matters such as his safety and keeping his extreme anxiety in check and making sure he attends a school that actually teaches in the very specific way he needs.

Yes, you did raise that. You also said, and I quote "a wider social phenomenon, which is prejudice against those who choose prviate education" and that is the point I was responding to.

X posts with Karlos. I think it suits the argument to make the Eton type jibes even when they are clearly inappropriate.