How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

Thanks for replies. I will be prepared next time - not sure if she will wish to talk to me again though .

My ds does indeed have asd and get help from a wonderful senco at the school. But that isn't really any of this woman's business and I don't think I should have to justify my choices to her.

Oh yes, and I will add that the state school she got allocated is a wonderful school.

Could I remind posters that the OP didn't say that SHE doesn't disagree with state school.....?
Nervous that this thread is going to turn in an unhelpful direction!

chocoluvva & tiggytape yes hot, soggy, bags of gear and clothes that have fallen in puddles etc... it's a pain isn't it. And it seems to take forever before they can swim properly (though of course there will be masses of parents poolside to tell you their amazing child swims for england at only 3.5y)

''I don't agree with private schools'' is not hatred. I think you are confused. The lady was just stating her opinion, which she is entitled to.

equally ''I don't agree with eating meat'' and ''I don't agree with bottle feeding'' are also opinions which people are entitled to hold.

Cross posts.

OP, next time just say 'why?' Might be interesting to find out where she's coming from. You will be able to suss out fairly quickly if she has a chip on her shoulder or not. You may make her squirm.

I often find when people make sweeping statements or opinions, the last thing they are prepared for is 'why?' And often come out with some kind of clap trap or hysteria.

She is entitled to her opinion. So am I.

However, she isn't entitled to be rude.

Well if I'd had the guts to say that out loud, I would love it if someone asked me why, so be ready!

(don't ask me why now, I'm off to work and anyway I've banged on enough on here about it to last me a whole year of swimming lesson poolside chit chat!)

well you could have genuinely asked her why she doesn't agree with them and got into a bit of a friendly discussion or you could have just moved the conversation on to different topic.

I am far from rude but I love a good chat about opinions.

I feel so sorry for all of those poor children growing up in a country where there is prejudice against a private school education. None of them will ever get to become lawyers or doctors or members of the cabinet. End this segregation now! Rights for Eton pupils!

And I completely agree with tiggytape that state schools are offensive. Every time I walk past one I just seethe with rage.

Me too. I find it really interesting to find out where other people are coming from. Can often be very thought provoking. And sometimes, shock, can modify my own views.

Well if she doesn't agree with private education shed better stop sending her child to swimming lessons then as that's what they are. A paid for educational activity not provided free of charge by the state.

I know a few parents on a dance forum who found that sending their children to private performing arts schools was cheaper than the amount they were spending in extra curricular classes.

Nothing is a level playing field unfortunately. You can send your child to a state school and pay a fortune for private tutors or music lessons or sp

Sorry.....

Or sports coaching etc.

Some people are so rude, honestly! Like my sister in law this weekend, we were talking about people going back to work after maternity leave etc and she then felt the need to comment on how she could never work full time and come home at 5:30, as she would only see her DS for 1h30mins every night and the weekends are just not long enough to see your him, it would be so terrible - I work full time!!! I just smiled....

Everyone has a right to their opinions but should be slightly more careful when they voice them

at Wallison.

What a shame for her that her own education didn't teach her the social skills needed to know what is and what isn't an appropriate comment.

What a rude person.
It is a bit difficult if your decision about your child's education is seen as an insult to her own choices. What are you meant to do, OP? Whip your child into the state system so that random women at the pool feel more comfortable? Keep it a dark secret that your child attends this school?

Oh come on, how rude is it really? Poor you, with your child at private school, being upset by someone not agreeing with them. You'll get over it, I'm sure.

I'm in two minds about whether to -sign up to a lifetime of feeling bent over a barrel-- send mine private, but I think if I'm fortunate enough to be in that position in the first place I might try to have a bit humility about it and keep my offendedness to a minimum

Oh damn you, you absent hyphen.

I think for pool-woman asking what school OP's DS attends is a kind of test. Basically her "I don't agree with" was saying that OP failed the test and is not her sort of person. That is rude (and narrowminded).