How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

I'm not saying I don't give a shit about education. I just admire people's tenacity don't understand why the fuck certain people don't get bored of saying the same things all the time

I also think you'll find the same thing on other sections of the board. Those with an interest in how mothers feed their children will spend hours going over the same thing in the bf/ff section. I know for a fact that many posters on there have no children younger than about 7yrs yet they still seem to want to discuss other people feed their babies. Makes no sense to me but each to their own. Better than bring a pram hun!

OK, here's my (RL) example:

I did our joint income on that calculator thingy where you compare yourselves to other people in the country. We earn jointly less than the higher rate tax allowance for one person. We send our son to a £12K per year independent secondary school. (Virtually no extras except uniform; lunches are included; trips are the same as state schools and not compulsory). We only plan to send him for five years.

We run old cars (over 12 years), never go on holiday abroad, don't smoke or drink at all.

We came out at 60%; ie 40% of the country are richer than us and 60% poorer.

By that calculation - for one child - with the same other financial circumstances as us, a lot more than 7% of the country could afford private education. As I said upthread I know lots of people who earn double and more what we do but 'can't afford' private education or would consider a complete waste of money.

But that's completely obvious to anyone with any sense of logic. Because there's no such thing as an income distribution with a huge gap between earning enough for schooling with no sacrifices at all and not being even able to contemplate it. So of course there are people in the middle who could afford it if they were more careful/had different priorities/smaller houses etc etc etc etc.

I don't think anyone would try and say that everyone could afford it if they tried hard. But I know lots of people with a mortgage maybe £700 more than mine and a car loan of maybe £300. Which is exactly ds's school fees.

Well, y'know, I'm reading and responding, dp is watching the A team and the kids are upstairs: wheres the harm?

Lovingthecoast. My prams days are long gone

An interesting aside for me anyway is that I'm watching Bear Grylls on tv. Apparently he went to Eton. I never knew.

I used to be myredcardigan. Spent too many years hashing it out with UQD. Martionbishop always made sense on such threads but sadly she moved on from mn after some real nastiness following the death if her DH.

Ignore me TOST

germyrabbit, I agree surely there must be more to this life the schools/uni's even DC's dare I say, house prices and so on.
It is sad that our choices education wise can create such divisions between mothers/fathers, as OP had sadly experienced.
It does seem lately all we talk about is school, school and more school, when these kids grow up one day and they will sooner then we think, I do wonder What we will talk about then? Probably nothing. and then some more.

UQD used to talk about private school thread bingo. Do you remember?

Everlong. Not quite

Oh yes to bingo! especially because I lived it!
i.e driving the 10yr old Volvo, going on camping holidays etc
Stereotypes do evolve for a reason though!

I want a ten year old Volvo but I can't afford one. Lol.

Can I ask,there seem to be some who send maybe 1 child to be privately educated and not another.
I couldnt imagine doing that unless there were special circumstances.
I try and have my children [lets just say I have 4],as equal as I can.
How does that work out. Surely there is resentment?

The only thing this thread is missing is Xenia.

It has to be a beaten up Volvo? We had one but I think it was a bit too new.

oops,thread has gone chatty.
Feel free to ignore my post.
As you were.

That's awful Toughasoldboots.

I've been wondering where Xenia is
On her island for half term maybe.

We are planning to pay for all 4! I will go back to teaching just to pay school fees but we are fortunate to be able to live off dh's salary plus my ridiculous TA salary at the moment.
I would not, unless there was a SLD which necessitated it, send just one and not the others. I think that way lies resentment.

Toughasoldboots
Is she talking ok now?

Toughasoldboots.
I remember feeling about the poster you mention as he seemed anti-private yet was happy to admit he'd use his contacts to get his dd into Oxbridge.

Obviously Xenia's island doesn't have wifi.