How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

I think you will always get people who assume that if you pay school fees then you must be wealthy which simply isn't true. You certainly cannot be poor but I wouldn't describe teachers or nurses as wealthy high earners.
There is always lots of references to Eton and people like DC and GO on threads like these and indeed many people when they think of private schools are thinking of schools like these. The reality is that most independent day schools have far more in common with state secondaries than they do with schools like Eton.

Yep, radicalsubtitution
No Sky,
We don't smoke
We haven't been on holiday in three years
No gym membership
We have one car, 12 years old
No house, we rent at £680 per months
Joint income 42k
One set of fees at around 9k per year
DS off to Uni next year, so yes we have been saving all we can, so to see him off in a good way and help him.
We thought we couldn't do it, but as a matter of fact DD's school fees worked out almost the same as her nursery fee, so we decided to keep her private, no luxury lifestyle here just a normal living, rather modest one.
We have nothing to justify to anyone, in fact I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of my choices, particularly someone I don't even know.
I know we are doing the right thing for DD and us and that is all that matters, for know.
Different people have different priorities and different needs, for us is paying for the eduction we deem suitable and good for "our" children, if people disagree with that, well they can disagree away all the want, it really does not concern me the slightest.

I really do wonder how some posters fill thteresa of their time when they aren't on private school threads.
Seriously. Don't you people get bored of arguing the same point over and over again.

seeker, I didnt mean you to read the whole thread! You have been here from the beginning!

education is worth debating about though imo, wish i'd read thread from beginning, anyone want to summarise?

I agree it's worth debating, but surely once is enough for most people [ hmm]

peas,this is my very first time on private education.
Will now join in quite often I think.
I wander around MN all over the place.
But some posters on MN,I have noticed, stick to very few topics.

Actually I see it is primary education!

germyrabbit

Right, one final example which is not meant as a criticism for anyone. Just an illustration. Then we should all go and finsh that wine.

Mum and Dad earn probably about 30k between them running a barely profitable newsagents. Dad drives minicabs for most of the evening to makes ends meet. Family live in the most vile rented accommodation in SE London but can afford nothing more as bankruptcy (from an earlier failed business) means they can't get anything better.

DD1 graduates from a decent university with a decent degree and gets a decent graduate job. She continues to live with parents and gives all her wages to parents (apart from a small allowance) so DD3 can go to private school.

Parents have absolutely no provisions for their own future - ie no pensions, propery or savings. All their spare wealth over the years has gone into education. They are completely reliant for the future on their children being academically successful and able to help (or support) them in their old age. As all their children are girls, in a culture where girls leave home to stay with their in-laws, the future looks bleak. This is not an unfamilar situation for that culture.

I questioned DD1 on this and she had no problems handing over virtually her entire paycheque. She said that their local school was absolutely dire, and that was a sacrifice she was prepared to make for her family.

Our culture views children very differently. Who are we/or they to sit in judgment of different values?

That's true amillionyears. Some people have their hobby horses. I've joined these debates several times myself in the past but I'm kinda bored. I can't believe how some people want to go over the same ground time and again

strictlovingmum,did you have 2 sets of fees at £18k in total?

No, DS has been state educated, still is.

amillion I can't believe you are hoiking your bosom to those not "in the thread since the beginning".

Everlong - backatcha. I hold the wine fully responsible for me dipping back into this thread

radical
Our culture view children very differently
Indeed we do.

oh no,peas,I dont like to repeat myself. I bore myself before I bore anyone else. So it will have to have a bit of a different angle next time!

Last month, I started finding myself repeating something on a thread,and I thought "oh no, I shall have to leave MN soon",but it appeared to be a one off,so I am still here.

I have discovered before on the occasions that I have ventured into secondary education I think it was,that there were some teachers who I think are just on that board,and seem to wait there to defend teachers. Not sure if I have the wrong impression or not!

Oh I freely admit that I've been hashing over this every few months since I joined mn nearly 9yrs ago!
So when will my message that private education does not equal Eton be accepted? oh and accept that a huge chunk of people who pay actually don't give a shit about keeping their kids away from state school kids.

Everlong!

i don't think it's rude to comment about your views on education

real socialists get very passionate about equal education for all our kids

what's so bad about that?

ladymuckbeth, I do expect people to comment having at least skimmed the entire thread,yes. Dont you?