How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

I think you're being a little unfair to everlong. She isn't saying it is an option for everyone but I too know lots of parents who could afford it but make other choices. Some of those could afford it without too many sacrifices, whilst for others it would mean no holidays etc. Within those groups will be parents who feel their money is better spent on other things and those who disagree with private education or see no need where they live
So of course, for many people, it would never be affordable no matter what they sacrificed. However, for some, more than you may think, cutting back on holidays etc does allow them to pay for school.

I know two couples where both are teachers. They are both classroom teachers earning somewhere between 30 and 35k each. One set pay for school the other don't. The couple who don't pay send their kids to a good state school and are perfectly happy with their decision. She has previously said to me 'why earn over 60k combined and live like you earn 20k combined?' They do live in a bigger house and comfortably afford two holidays a year whereas the couple should pay have a tent and every holiday is camping. Both though, are very happy with their choices. So they are both teachers, not a job people would consider able to facilitate private school fees.

Some families could go private if they cut back on other things. Not all families, some.

She did make that clear - you were all too busy pouncing.

I should image a large part of whether you live on beans on toast in order to send your child private has to do with whether the local schools provide an education you feel is suitable and adequate for your child. To say that for you, it was important that your child attend a certain school is by no means suggesting that others don't consider their own children's education important.

If your child is a science genius, and the local independent school has an excellent science program that the local state doesn't, so you send your child private at the expense of a comfortable lifestyle, good for you. That's no reflection on your neighbour sending their artistically talented child to the local state, which does have an excellent arts program.

I fail to see how one parent choosing what's best for their child reflects in any way on the choices another parent makes for theirs, since every child is different and will flourish in a different environment.

Do those of you opposed to private education oppose private healthcare too? These seem to be very socialist viewpoints, and while socialism is a lovely ideal, it's just not the real world, not is it ever likely to be so.

radical, I agree with everything you have written in that post.

ladymuckbeth and Annie,if you care to read all of this thread you will see that I dont care if you send your children to private school [shrugs], but I do care if parents that are there really think there are huge numbers who could also do it "if only they make some sacrifices".

Actually,before I joined the thread, I was sitting on the fence about what others talk about on MN about private schools,not having posted before on them.
But I can feel the "heat" as it were,coming from the more recent posters this evening about the subject.
Please read the entire thread.

I would consider that 2 teachers could afford private education,providing they didnt have too many children,yes.
I am beginning to think I must live in a much poorer area than I realised!

Further example:

Couple earns 50k jointly including overtime and shift allowances. BUT, mortgage was 60k originally on a house now worth 250k and has further 5 years left on it. Couple of an age that they have benefitted from rapid house inflation.

Unhappy with state school but 'couldn't afford' in their words to send DD to private school.

They currently have:

Top level Sky TV package
20+ cigarettes per day
400 per month car payment so they can change their car every three years for another brand new model
3k per year all inclusive holiday

That is the definition of 'not prepared to make the sacrifice'.

This is not the case for every family, but is certainly true for some people who say they can't afford to go private.

No-one has said that. Yet another straw man being set up to attack. It's all rather tedious.
For some people poised at a certain point on the income scale choosing private will mean foregoing other things. I think this is true for most parents who choose prviate school - there are very few people for whom school fees come out of small change.

radical
Everlongs posts 19.50pm She said "it is possible if...." . No mention of the word "some"
20.03pm No mention of the word "some"
20.11pm ditto
20.16pm ditto
20.30pm ditto
20.32pm ditto
Only at 20.35pm did she mention the word "some"

I dont think that is clear at all.
Do you?
really?

People can read all this.
It is all hear in black and white.
And they can see which posters are trying to mix things up.
You cannot hide on MN which is the beauty of it.

Haven't rtft. Why not just not take it personally? She can have her opinion and express it, you don't have to care about it.

Easy peasy

I'm sorry, ever long. I really didn't see where you said that some families could fund private education if they economised. It looked to me very much as if you were saying all families could. A view I have heard before, But I'm glad I misunderstood you.

Annie- there has been no "vitriol" towards private school parents. It seems to me that this thread has been, in the main, quite measured.

amillion - actually I have been reading the whole thread, as I posted on it on Thursday. Since then I've resisted posting because it has just seemed like yet another tedious thread about You Know What.

If you'd read the entire thread, you'd know that I also don't have strong views one way or another. We are mid-process of deciding what to do with our twin daughters, but I'm erring on the side of thinking that we'll send them to one of the local indies. We are fortunate enough at the moment to not have to make big sacrifices in order to do so, although I suspect like many on this thread I am cautious to say so in case I unleash all manner of nasty.

My dad didn't "believe" in private education either, but he still sent me to a public school simply because it was the best school nearby, and was one that would offer so much more than any of the state-funded alternatives. I don't think he felt particularly strongly about it, but I do recall him saying that it was a shame that not every kid could have access to what I did.

amillion - perhaps that's because you'd have to be a complete and utter idiot to hold the view that EVERYONE IN THIS COUNTRY COULD AFFORD PRIVATE EDUCATION IF THEY WANTED TO.

I mean really, does it need clarifying? FFS!

amillionyears true - but you posted at 21:42.

It may be that your broadband (or diallup or 3G) is even worse than mine - in which case I am truly sorry.

We all post things quickly in the heat of the moment while others are hastily cross-posting without saying what we really mean. I am as guilty of that as the next person (as well as not proof-reading).

I just think that everlong has had rather a hard time of it for making a statement that is true for a significant minority of the population.

No offence intended.

It's Saturday - less stress needed!

I think that's a given though. Nobody, even those in a little bubble could seriously believe that everyone could afford it. It's pretty obvious she meant some tbh.

amillion - yes, I have read the whole thread, and my comment weren't directed at you. There have been comments along the lines of "well, you're rich and can send your child private, so you deserve any rudeness you get", which seems ridiculously peevish to me

Everlong,no I didnt know what you meant as your post of 19.50pm was in that case badly worded,and you did nothing to correct it [even though it was discussed] in your next 5 posts.

"She can have her opinion and express it, you don't have to care about it."
Presumably we all therefore have a licence to say exactly what we think, however offensive or unnecessary, on the grounds that our hearers dont have to care about it. This could be rather good fun, now I come to think of it.

"amillion - yes, I have read the whole thread, and my comment weren't directed at you. There have been comments along the lines of "well, you're rich and can send your child private, so you deserve any rudeness you get", which seems ridiculously peevish to me"
It would be very peevish- if anyone had actually said anything of the thought!