How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

She won't, lupo- all you 've done is confirm her prejudice. She "knew" that private school parents were like that- and she now has evidence.

Basically, my children really are sensitive and intelligent, and I feel that they are more so than average. Ds1 in particular benefits from smaller class sizes and extension work well targeted, instead of in the form of work sheets.

So if I was faced with a parent explaining that they send their children privately because of sensitivity and intelligence, something inside me becomes jealous and angry because its not true. If it were, NEARLY ALL children would be at private school. Their children go to private school because they can afford it, and they believe it is better than state.

If they were just honest, if they just didn't give a justification that's a load of crap, or didn't give one at all, that's fine. It's when they justify it with the exact beliefs that the majority of parents hold about their children that I get irritated.

Simply ask 'why's that?' and wait for an articulate and reasonable reply. Buys you time and makes her look like a d*ck if she has no basis whatsoever for her comment.

Agree with Colditx x 99999999999999999999999999999999999999.

Lupo- I'm sorry the other parent was rude to you but I think your response was very unhelpful. The other parent will have thought that you were utterly despicable and/or out of touch to the point of madness, I expect.

There are a small minority of parents who use private education who clearly have no idea that not a large majority of people simply do not have the money to make their choices. Everlong on this thread seems to be one! lololololololol@ "You are not in a position ? I don't get you. What do you mean?" Incredible.

seeker,near the end of my somewhat longwinded paragraph there was a question. I dont know whether you saw it or not.

Comfortably off does not equate to "able to afford private education".

Amillionyears- sorry, I missed your question. I can't answer, I afraid, because I don't know. If the two schools in our town were combined to make a comprehensive, I would be more than happy to send my child to it. That's all I can say. Sorry, but I really don't know what I would do in the hypothetical situation you describe.

yes, comfortably well off - we have a warm dry house, plenty of food that we like, access to free education and medical care, a car, a garden, holidays (in the UK) more STUFF than I know what to do with including a laptop each...that is unheard of riches compared to most of the world, yet we still couldn't afford private education despite my children being ever so bright and sensitive. FWIW my youngest has a statement and the provision at his bog standard comp has been excellent.

How many meals out, holidays and clothes do you need to forego to add up to £15,000-odd per year Everlong? Or double that or triple it if you have the very standard 2 or 3 children.

I can't imagine what people must be spending on holidays and new clothes if giving them up means they could pay for school fees (especially if they have several dcs- though that in itself is an extravagence I suppose [hgrin])

"A private education is possible if you're willing to give other things up, if that's what you wish."

rofl. You are deluded.

Agree Mintyy.

For some people giving up other things will make the difference between being able to afford it and not. for me, paying for schooling is do-able (provided I continue to work) but leaves not an ounce of spare cash for other things. Paying for the proportion of specialist assistance which ds requires which the LEA will not cover accounts for another chunk of income. If i were not doing this, I suppose I could afford moderately expensive holidays and new cars. but those things don't interest me and I wouldn't buy them if I could so I can hardly claim to mind.
the thing I do mind, and it's a difficult trade off, is it leaves cash to save for DS's future. At the moment I see the wisdom of investing heavily in his education and maximising his skills and independence. that balance may change as he gets older.

And what about the extras Everlong.
How many people have got £17k spare per year, or £20k when they are older, or in the case of 3+ children £24k + spare?

Everlong,obviously there are a few people who could give up some things to afford private school.
But there are many many people round here where the average wage pp is £17k!
And we are not in that poor an area.

And surely you have to pay for expensive uniforms,expensive school trips,expensive sports equipment etc.
[well it would be expensive to a lot of people]

Everlong- are you saying that any family with two children could find a spare 20k a year if they wanted to?

The £15,000 pa is roughly the amount you would need to earn to pay the school fees for one child alone. Very roughly. It's not going to materialise from buying cheaper clothes and holidays, unless you spend a hell of a lot of money on those things (which, of course, most people don't).

"There was someone on this thread ( or the other private school bashing thread )"

This is not a "private school bashing thread"

I would have answered. 'And I don't agree with oranges.' If they looked at me in confusion I would have added in a stage whisper 'Give me gas.'

I always find that when people are giving completely unasked for viewpoints the best approach is to come out with some non-sequiteur. Throwing people off-balance tends to shut them up nicely.

If they want to overanalyse it later, they can read it as they don't want to know about your digestive function and you don't want to know about their political viewpoint.