How do you reply to this? Private school hatred.

[Elec]

Ds goes to swimming, in the class is another boy who he likes. I was chatting to this boy's mum, who I have not spoken to before. She asks me what school ds is at so I tell her. It's a private school and she replied - I don't agree with private schools.

What should I have said? I cannot believe how socially acceptable this sort of prejudice is, she just said it in earshot of plenty of other people so clearly she didn't mind who heard.

I imagine if this had been the other way round and I asked her what school her ds went to and then said, well I don't agree with state schools (not my view obv!) that she would have had a go at me and probably so would people overhearing!

Way back near the beginning of the thread I said that if this happened to me,I would get into a discussion with the lady,and we could educate each other.
I was assuming at the time that those people on here who have children at private school,would post their answers as to how they would have answered the lady about why they send their children to private schools

I am incredulous that no one has answered that [as far as I can remember from yesterday]

So,here is my answer,if I had sent mine there,which,as I also said upthread,mine went to comp.

I would say,I assume,and have to guess
"I want to do the best for my children. I am very fortunate that I can afford private schools. In an ideal world,all of our children would be able to access the best schooling that the world has to offer"

This answer does assume that private schools are the best schooling.
I dont know for sure,but I assume that the parents who use it must think so.

This isn't "hatred", just an opinion.
I suggest move the conversation swiftly on to capital punishment then religion then organic food

Prarieflower. I have looked at some of your other posts. You are not quite who I thought you might be. [and you could well get onto Governors if you applied,I would have thought]
If you had less children,and then could afford it,might you then choose to send your child to private school?

" I send my child to private school because I want the best for my child"

Hmmm. See my 6.16 post.

do you mean 6.06?

btw,I'm not personally sure I would send all my children to private school even if we had heaps money. Dont think I would,depends on certain things I suppose.

But why is it anyone else's business how I (or anyone) chooses to educate my child? If I send my dd to private school does that put me in the default position of having to explain myself to people who disagree? And do we have to disagree with state/private according to which we choose for our children?

This debate is always ridiculous.

This has been discussed earlier on in the thread.

You don't have to explain yourself, you just have to accept that a lot of people will be opposed to your decision.

People always make the huge mistake that they have to explain and justify - it really isn't necessary. All you needed to say was, mildly, 'it suits us'- and change the subject.

Sorry I didn't realise it had already been discussed especially when looking at recent posts. I tried to go back and read it all but I think it would take me all day! I agree with you exotic.

Dd is due at school next September and it annoys me that either way I choose people feel they have the right to an opinion on it. .

OP lucky for her it was not me she was spouting all that out to, put it this way,
'It would have been the last time she ever voiced her opinion without being asked like that in public', I would have made sure of it, cheeky, brass cow.
Who asked her for the opinion anyway?

Amillionyears

My answer would be very broadly
'I am very fortunate that I was able to chose from all the available local schools. As it happens the one that suited my child best was private. Mostly because it is single sex and has shit loads of sport'

I don't think private school = best.
I think sometimes a private school may better meet a particular child's needs.

Although having a child with SN has taught me never to justify myself to strangers.

Toughsoldboots
Yes we are that rare breed you are talking about, the ones that successfully use both systems and see nothing wrong with it.
I never justify my actions to anyone, I don't have to, I choose the best in MY opinion for my children and who's business is that but mine.
Opinionated people are annoying as feck, end of.

I wonder of it is the same mad swimming woman who told me my husband was too short...?

That is right seeker.

I often cringe at my private school friends who lack this kind of sensitivity.

My personal dilemma is that I feel more at home with my state school friends, than my " private school friends", maybe as I am state school educated myself, and I consider going to the local comprehensive the "normal" thing to do.

On the whole, I think parents who educate their children privately are much less sensitive, and much more offensive ( examples mentioned by seeker) than the other way around.

Now that my kids are in private school, for now anyway, I am pretty o.k. With receiving the occasional snide(ish) remark, as I feel secure in my decision and don't feel I need to go around justifying it.

(As an aside to seeker, I know we have locked horns before on this issue, and I was thinking of you when I went to look around at open days in the local comprehensives here. THey were great, with many kids excelling and an atmosphere and work ethic I liked. I was thinking, that if you would remove the top 25% to a grammar school, the school would not be quite the same, and kids could never move to the top band, as that would be a different school!, so I get what your problem with grammars is, I think. Finally)

Why go to all that trouble Pagwatch? She isn't going to change her mind. 'It suits us' has no comeback- just repeat as necessary. If you sound like a broken record she will get the message that it is none of her business, without you having to be rude or waste time in a pointless discussion.

I just popped by to propose marriage to Wallison.

I'm in love

I have no idea. I just laughed. Which may have been rude, but it was an odd conversation with someone I didn't know from Adam...

TheFallenMadonna and tethersend

Exoticfruits

I think you missed my last line.
I was responding to amillionyears

I lost (what i thought was) a very good friend because DD went private and her DD went to state. After initially spending months just ignoring her comments and questions I tried to discuss it but it made no difference. She just wanted me to feel bad and I don't. So I won't do that again. I would beat my head on a desk for hours to greater effect.