How would you feel if your child was 'encouraged' to play with a child with learning difficulty?

[Nottigermum]

DS is 5 years old, in year 1, and he has a severe speech disorder. Most people can understand him now but it is difficult to understand him in a busy classroom. The school has proposed this year to keep on doing speech therapy with him every day, but the difference is that some of the therapy includes playing various communications games with another children from his class.

The games take about 15 minutes, usually taking place in the school library, and the teacher chooses a different child every day, encouraging them to play with my son (who really struggles to make friends because of his speech). its anything from snakes and ladders to snap.

One of my very good friend overheard a parent in the playground saying that she is not happy about this and she would complain to the teacher. She said they can't force her daughter to play with my son, it takes children away from the classroom, etc. of course it hurts but i am trying to go beyond that and find out about various opinions.

What do you think? how would you feel if that would happen in your child's classroom? Thanks for your honest opinions!

I'd have no problem at all and i think it's a good thing that the school is doing for your child.

The woman is just being ignorant and shouldn't be gosipping in the playground. If she's got a problem with it she should have a one to one conversation with the teacher.

I would be absolutely fine with it and agree this woman is being a bigot. There are benefits to both sides from this arrangement not only your son. The other children will gain from it too, helping and learning more tolerance and appreciation for people who have special needs. It sounds as if you should suggest to this woman that she should join in too!

Grr people are so narrow minded at times.

It really wouldn't bother me at all.

I would assume that the mother is one of those types of mothers that you often meet at the school gate who generally has nothing much of any use to say, and the stuff she does say is generally too loud.

Op I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

The school's approach is great, and will help ensure her ignorance will hopefully not be passed on to the next generation.

My son has SN too (autistic) but is very verbal and LOVES helping other children. He would feel please to be chosen to help...just as he chooses someone to help him sometimes. It's a lovely way of children helping one another while both having some fun and learning something.

I think this other mother has no idea about what her child will get from this.

Education is about mixing with different people and treating them as equals :)

Honestly the woman is an ignoramus, please ignore her.

I have a five year old and would think it fine. i would think of your son how I think of the rest of the class. I would have pulled the mother up on it has she said it to me

WofflingOn - i know , was just thinking of what might have bothered this parent about the arrangement, speech mimicking would be the one thing that might bother me.

OP - what does your ds think of this little arrangement ? Does he like it ? He must feel very special

I would be very pleased for my child to help another child.

She sounds scared.

I think it is a perfect idea and would not have a problem with it.

Having experienced the sort of school that ignores the needs of a SN child, so that they end up stuck with ONE other child in the class, who really suffers - sorry, in our case, but suffering is not necessarily part of it! - or has to lend all their support with no back up - the sharing-the-care model was finally adopted with superb results for all concerned.

Relying on one child to befriend or support another is never a good idea, but when the whole class takes turns it can be very very positive.

I would be just fine about it...the woman you mention is the MINORITY OP not the majority. It takes a village to raise a child and the children in my DDs classes who have SN or LD's are there and they all mix in together and learn from one another.

My DD has a best friend with ASD and she has remained friends with her for four years...their friendship began when my DD was her nominated helper/buddy in their infant school.

They both get a lot from the friendship.

My autistic son attends a similar group at his school, although for him its about interaction.

If anyone ever told me that they didnt want their child to play with my DS I would tell them to get their head out of their arse! The children are 5 and most of the time they are playing anyway. Its not like its GCSE study!

i would have no problem with it.
sadly the world and playground is full of twits like that woman

Oh and when my DD was having problems socially at her new school, her wonderful teacher came up with a playtime strategy which involved ALL the children helping her...without them knowing it of course!

The woman who complained ought to think....it is not only DC with learning difficulties who sometimes need the help of their peers.

I would think that my child too would learn a lot in those 15 minutes and would also be having fun.

Dd who has autism does group work with her TA sometimes it's on interaction and sometimes it's on social skills or understanding emotions. The children in her class clamour to be picked because it's usually a game or role play. The children chosen are usually a good spread of abilities but a lot of the time dd isn't the only one benefiting from these sessions.Chances are the child could also benefit from these sessions and her mum might discover that her child has needs too which should quieten her down a little

DS likes it, he's very good at games and he wins most of the time... that's what he says anyway! Seriously, I think it's a good idea and didn't think of any negative sides to it when it was proposed. Last year, they worked in small groups on Friday afternoons, they had special games maybe with 4 or 5 kids, different each week. It was fun but DS didn't speak enough in those groups. With one TA and one child, he is speaking a lot more and the other kids get to know him better. I couldn't see any negatives sides to it and was very surprised about the parent's comments. I think that her daughter has her own friends in the class, my feeling is that she doesn't want to play with anyone else - especially a boy, and especially a boy who is not popular. I could be wrong...

perfectly normal in our school, which has an attached special needs school, with structured mingling.

Great idea, schools should always encourage children to work with and play with those outside their immediate friendship group and to support their peers.

insanityscratching The children in my DS's class are all desperate to go to DS's special lesson (mainly because there are bubbles :o)

I would be more than happy with it and would actively encourage it. My son would probably love being picked as well. The other mum is being totally unreasonable if she complains: learning doesn't just happen in the classroom, and at 5 it's not as if fifteen minutes is going to have a detrimental impact on her daughter's GCSEs, is it?! I hope the teacher sends her away with something to think about...

Not only would I support it, I would encourage it myself. I think it a good way for your DS to develop his speech, and for other children to develop tolerance for those who are not the same as them. Our children must learn to understand they can have friends with all different children with different skills and abilities.

DD often volunteers to support a child in her class with downs syndrome, by taking her into class from the playground, going with her to change her reading book, sitting with her at lunchtime and helping her eat. Whenever she tells me about this, with pride, it fills me with pride and I praise and encourage her to continue this.

Unfortunately you are always going to come across bigotted parents who do not see this as a learning process for their own pfbs etc, but as a hinderance to their children's learning. It means that those children will in fact lose a fantastic opportunity to develop and grow empathy. And will potentially lose out on meeting amazing people through their lives as they grow through learnt behaviour from their parents.

I hope you can recognise that some small minded people exist but it is not the majority.

I used to finish my work early to help a special needs kid in my class, in Y4 or so- we'd known each other since 4 y.o. and were good friends....it was so good when something clicked! My work didn't suffer and we had a good time....no problem on either side. Oh and in top set Y6 English we used to skip half the lesson and go and read (mess around) with the Year 2 kids in the next classroom. We still got 5s, full marks, whatever in our SATs, which I guess that sort of mum would respect. She's out of order, it sounds like a fab scheme.

I am so sorry you had to hear this. OOO am hurt and upset for you. We are suppose to be showing children to work with each other, be kind, helpful etc etc the list is endless. What a horrible woman. As a parent and a primary school teacher it is a really good thing all round. All children learn from each other, your DS is working on his speech and the other children are learning to be patient and or speak clearly and slowly or just socialising which is learning in itself especially with speech and language therapy.

We had talking partners at my school, it could be a child with speech issues, one who was a confident speaker and or EAL and they would spend about 15 minutes talking, playing word games etc, it benefits everyone not just your son.

I had a parent speak to me about a SN child in my class too you could always mention it quietly along the lines of 'Look i've heard through the grape vine etc etc just so they are aware if you wanted too.

Otherwise its a brilliant thing and the other lady is an idiot

I'd be pleased and would probably be inviting your DS for tea!