How would you feel if your child was 'encouraged' to play with a child with learning difficulty?

[Nottigermum]

DS is 5 years old, in year 1, and he has a severe speech disorder. Most people can understand him now but it is difficult to understand him in a busy classroom. The school has proposed this year to keep on doing speech therapy with him every day, but the difference is that some of the therapy includes playing various communications games with another children from his class.

The games take about 15 minutes, usually taking place in the school library, and the teacher chooses a different child every day, encouraging them to play with my son (who really struggles to make friends because of his speech). its anything from snakes and ladders to snap.

One of my very good friend overheard a parent in the playground saying that she is not happy about this and she would complain to the teacher. She said they can't force her daughter to play with my son, it takes children away from the classroom, etc. of course it hurts but i am trying to go beyond that and find out about various opinions.

What do you think? how would you feel if that would happen in your child's classroom? Thanks for your honest opinions!

I would think it was fine as (and I hope this doesn't sound offensive because it's not meant to be but I'm not sure I'm putting it right) I want my children to be aware that there are people who have challenges that they don't and that it is part of everyday normal life. Plus my DCs would jump at the chance of leaving the classroom for a bit to do something a bit different. I would imagine the teacher will tell any complainers to get a life robustly defend her teaching approach if questioned

Ha! Just spotted your name OP!

the mother is being precious, although i am embarrassed that I was precious that my son had a russian boy with lack of english in his class at nursery
but i did become more open minded in time. i promise, and when dd3 had a Thai girl join the school in year 4 with no english I was amazed at the rate that she learnt english. and not at all precious aobut it. so there is hope for this mother. and perhaps the logistics havent been explained very well.

i think it's a great idea - for the other children as well as your son.
it helps both sides learn how to communicate effectively.

stupid woman objecting.

Sounds like a great idea. Your son is in a lovely, caring school.

There's always one who moans and spoils things.
Let her complain - then the teacher can see what a selfish, thoughtless individual she is.

Sorry you heard that. Some parents are, quite frankly, nuts. We've got one who complained about the fact that the TA takes one child down out of reception to the front door slightly before the end of the day - so he can be sent out to his mum who is disabled and unable to get out of her car easily. Mum can't just wait in the car because of all the traffic wardens. So school had a nice system going to help mum and son.

One mum complained that the TA was out of the class for 2 minutes doing this, because it meant less adult attention on her child (who has no SN or anything like that and in fact is at the top of the class ).

I can only conclude that these people are deeply insecure and think that their child is on a knife-edge of failure and this kind of thing could tip them over into a lifetime of drug abuse and criminality. But really very sorry that you should hear this.

One child a day? So eg 15 minutes every 25 school days?

She's a fuckwit.

how is it not a good thing for BOTH children involved?
ignorant woman!

I would be perfectly happy.

Surely it is of benefit to the other child as well. They get to help another child and children like doing this. What a shame, the parents can't see this.
School is so much about learning to get on with others and appreciating everyone is different, as well as educational.

Maybe, if you don't mind a short letter from the class teacher to the parents explaining exactly what is involved and the short amount of time it involves and the benefits to the other childrens' emotional intelligence might help.

My ds had SALT when he was in mainstream. His therapists used a similar approach.

My ds has ASD &ADHD. The amount of ignorance I've encountered is staggering.

Let the other parents talk all they like,if they have an issue with the arrangement,direct them to the teacher!

I think it is a good idea and I think the mum is awful to be honest.

I wouldn't be bothered, but then again, my kids are the ones with the learning difficulties. (So long as the way it was happening was organic and not contrived in a way that would make a spectacle of my kids, or else I'd be the one complaining)

I hope the complaining mother realises that it's quite normal for kids to be mixed and matched in different groups for various activities, anyhow.

I really hope this mother complains!! That way the school cant see what an arse hole she is. My dd is having trouble with her reading her bf is very bright, the mother is "encouraging other friendships' Its shit but some people are ignorant

I would think it was a great idea for everyone and would be encouraging my DCs to include your DS at other times too. Sorry you heard this mum, some people are just unbelievable.

Can see!

I would be absolutely delighted that my DC had a opportunity to have some fun time with another child and some 1:2 attention from an adult in school. I would also be thrilled that they had the opportunity to communicate with your DS and see it as a positive in my DC's own development. But hey, I am a teacher...

My DS is also 5 and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. The school sounds great!

That parent is an absolute dick!

I have a child with SN and SEN AND had to listen to an ignorant parent ranting at me in the playground about how her precious ds was not progressing because there was a SN child in the class who was taking up all of the teachers time, allegedly. Not ds, her ds was the year above but she knew about ds. There will always be this kind of ignorance and while MN is usually a safe, accepting place, I am afraid that in RL prejudice seems to prevail .

What a ridiculous and idiotic attitude this Mother has. Take consolation in not many people would feel like this. Nevertheless, one person is too many in this case.

I also had a child with a severe speech disorder who had speech therapy from pre-school until the age of seven.
I would have loved it if his school had done this. They did 1 to 1 with a TA rather than getting other children involved, which I think is a shame as my DS really struggled with socialising.
He's now 8 and his speech is much, much better but he still struggles to some degree with socialising (although there are probably other issues going on).
I would have absolutely no problem with my NT children doing this and would think that they would both enjoy and benefit from this.
Have and ignore the silly woman.

It is a common excercise used by schools up and down the country. Its good for all the children involved.
The moaning mother's child sounds like she could benefit from an opportunity to learn social skills as she wont be getting them at home

As ouryve says this sort of thing happens for lots of reasons, mixing abilities is hardly new.

The mother is an arse and I feel sorry for her child.

I think if your DS and the other DC are either under the supervision of an adult, or have been given a set task, then it will be a very good lesson in communication, speech, social interaction and empathy for all concerned.

However, thinking back to my own reception class back in the early 1980s, there was a little girl there who had virtually no speech (and I suspect other additional needs but I'm unsure as I moved out of the area soon after) and as a 4 year old I just didn't have the confidence or social skills to be able to 'free play' one-on-one with her. The sessions need to be managed properly or they won't be beneficial to either your DS or the group as a whole.

when my ds was in y1 he was part of a friendship group that involved working together to help another child gain friends etc. I can't really explain it wel but it involved some out of the classroom time with someone who came into the school to work with this child, they did various activities over a period of time. Firstly, I had to give my consent for DS to be a part of this group - verbal consent was fine. But the issue some parents had with it was that because anything to do with SEN is strictly confidential, the identity of the child could not be revealed to the other parents, nor the actual full on process of the group iyswim. So all parents knew was that their child was a part of this friendship group in order to help out one other child. Now, I spent a lot of time in school as a volunteer and as a governor and therefore I had a fairly good idea who the child was and thus a bit more understanding of his situation. But other parents didn't, and all they knew was that their child was being singled out for some group which, because of confidentiality, they knew very little about.

I think the idea is fantastic, however I think that because of the way schools aren't allowed to communicate these days it's possible to put peoples' backs up unnecessarily iyswim.

So I would seek to establish whether this woman is just being a cow, in which case she's a cow, ignore her, or exactly what it is parents are being told wrt this activity, in which case parents may be wondering why their child is being singled out in this way iyswim.

We've already had the conversation at home with our DS (now year 2) about taking time to listen to others they might not find as easy to understand for now. I think kids can just rush off. I'd be happy for my kids to spend time with in this sort of set up and shared around the class seems like no one child will be doing it all the time.

I would be quite happy and know that he would be too. It's part of our job as parents to encourage empathy. The other parent sounds awful