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Original poster

how the heck do you get your LO to school on time.....

187 replies

babymutha · 15/08/2012 20:51

dd will enter reception on Sept 12th. We were late for pre-school virtually every day, whether I got up at 6, 7 or 8am. DD v strong willed, won't dress herself unless she feels like it, won't let me brush her hair, takes 30-45 mins to eat a bowl of cornflakes, sits of toilet without weeing or pooing for AGES and then walks at the speed she feels like (although I have managed to enlist tree fu tom big world magic and a scooter to speed her along, so that is the least stressful bit of our journey). I don't want to spend every day YELLING at my child. Please give me your wisdom......

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CharlotteBronteSaurus · 14/09/2012 11:24

what finally worked was me telling DD1 that if we were late, I would not make excuses, but inform her class teacher that I was ready to leave the house at 8.30, and any lateness was not down to me.

BoffinMum · 14/09/2012 12:09

Action plan for school days on my blog

Basically the secret with dawdlers is to leave the house at the appointed time with them whether they are fed, dressed or not. I guarantee once they have realised they will have to go to school in their pyjamas one day, the fuss will stop. However it may be worth mentioning this cunning psychological ploy to the school in advance. Wink

BoffinMum · 14/09/2012 12:11

FWIW, I also do the Belvita biscuits and milk in a sports bottle when it all goes too pear shaped to eat breakfast in time.

Dancergirl · 14/09/2012 13:09

OMG, some of the houses on here sound like boot camps rather than loving family homes Hmm

This our routine:

7.30 my alarm goes off
7.45 wake dds 2 and 3
7.50 help dd3 get dressed
8am breakfast
8.25 upstairs for teeth/hair
8.40 leave home

OP, if you are organised you really don't have to be like an army officer in the mornings. Work out the timings and stick to it, but I find a bit of gentle hurrying along works better than shouting (and much less stressful!). I can normally persuade dd to get dressed/ have her hair done etc with kisses or cuddles or telling her I love her!

We've never had tv on in the mornings, we don't have one on our kitchen.

Oh and don't worry about dressing dd, ignore anyone who says she 'should' be doing it herself. It won't be forever!

ChazsGoldAttitude · 14/09/2012 13:17

babymutha

Egg timers are great. I use them with my children Y1 & Y5. Children have no real concept of time so if you tell them that we need to leave in 5 mins they don't really appreciate what that means. With an egg timer they can see the time running out, it really helps.

I do as much as I can the night before and get up 30mins before the children. If they wake up early they can watch TV until 7am after that the TV goes off.

SecretSquirrels · 14/09/2012 15:40

Agree with Ajobforlife.
She will not hate you forever because you make her go to school on time. She is running rings around you if you have to persuade her all the time.
If you cannot make a 4 year old do these simple things then heaven help you when she is a teenager.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 14/09/2012 17:50

my advice is if set the alarm to give yourself enough time to do it for her if she wont do it herself. In our house if they dont do it themselves i just shove a jumper over their head or whatever but if it gets to that they lose their treat in the evening (they have a treat with the story in the evening).
I set the alarm for 7am to get them all ready but you have to just really be in charge no coaxing, no persuading just tell or do.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 14/09/2012 17:51

oh also do everything possibly the night before so its not stressy because otherswise the whole thing will just crumble around you!

holyfishnets · 14/09/2012 17:54

Set a new time table and tell her about it the night before. It sounds to me that she is getting lots of attention through being obstructive. I suggest you get yourself a timer this weekend. Set the clock for the times below. If she meets a deadline (ie be dressed by 7.30, finished breakfast by 8) she gets a sticker immediately on her chart. X many stickers and she gets something she really wants (TV time or a few penny sweets or a friend to play etc). Be positive and make it fun. Use time out in a room for poor behaviour and ignore her while she is in time out. Most of all be in charge, expect instructions to be followed and don't shout. Be calm and give instructions with firm eye contact and about two foot away.

7.00 - get dressed
7.30 - breakfast
8.00 - Get completely ready to leave the house having done teeth/shoes/coat etc. Play or read etc if time allows after.
8.30 - leave house

holyfishnets · 14/09/2012 17:57

Also remember to have everything ready the night before - tooth brushes/coats out/lunch bags/clothes etc.

holyfishnets · 14/09/2012 18:00

OO just read your last post. Well done. Keeping everyone in good spirits and egg timers really help

ByTheWay1 · 14/09/2012 18:11

I'm lucky - the kids co-operate - we get up, get on with it and get out - always have thankfully.

ledkr · 14/09/2012 18:15

I have had 20 odd years of this. With the latest slow arse I use bribery. If she doesnt leave the house on time then she gets no screen time after school.
Now she is 10 she wants to go out after school too so I have another handy tool.
Make sure clothes including shoes are on before breakfast and bags and coats by the door. Then eat breakfast which has to be left if its time to leave. Keep a toothbrush and hairbrush downstairs to save them wandering off into the upstairs twilight zone and becoming lost for ever. Grin

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 14/09/2012 19:40

Well done op. with a good routine it works. And I don't even drag myself or dcs out of bed until 7.30 (leave at 8.30).

The tv never goes on in the mornings but if they are ready (breakfasted, teeth cleaned, dressed and have made beds/opened their curtains and got their school bag out of the cupboard and ready) then they can play until I tell them it's time for shoes and coats.

Top tips are laying out uniform and making sure bags are mainly packed (dd adds her fruit and water bottle in the morning, ds still gets free fruit at school and refuses to take a water bottle)

After a year of having this routine I don't even need to be in the same room and I invariably take my breakfast back to my room and mn! (need to eat close to the toilet due to some tremendous morning sickness, still, at 27 weeks)

Good luck for keeping it up!

am now scared about new baby ruining the morning routine but as dcs don't need me in the room I might get away with it, god I hope so

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 14/09/2012 20:30

I once took ds down to the car in his t-shirt and pants with the rest of his uniform in a carrier bag.

he has been a lot better since then.. Grin

AllPastYears · 14/09/2012 20:45

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan, it's a good job they get embarrassed by that age, isn't it? Grin

marriedinwhite · 14/09/2012 20:47

I'm not reading all of this. You just have to be ready five minutes before you need to leave. The negotiation has to stop. If she doesn't finish breakfast, breakfast ends - she won't go hungry for more than two or three days until she gets the message. If she doesnt' get dressed after 10 minutes - dress her or take her in her jamas (I only had to do that once with ds) he screamed all the way to playgroup in the buggy but it never happened again. Five minutes on the loo and if she wets on the way to school, she wets you will have clean knickers/tights with you - won't happen more than twice. As far as the hair goes, by the time she's 6 one little brat or another will have told her she looks like a scarecrow or you have it cut - end of. You make the rules, not her. The most important rule is learning to be on time - you have to respect the start time and so does she.

hooper02 · 14/09/2012 20:51

Went through a phase with dd1 when she wouldn't get dressed and wouldn't let me get her addressed, a couple of times of being taken to the car in her vest and pants with her uniform in carrier bag worked as she realised I would carry out my threats.
Would like to do the same with dd2 but unfortunately don't have a car at the moment and don't want to drag her down the street to the bus stop in her underwear

SoldeInvierno · 14/09/2012 21:53

Until DS was about 6, I dressed him, spoon fed him, brushed his teeth and got him out of the door by 7:15. We were never late, as that would have meant me been late for work. So, he might not have been the most independent child but it certainly saved me lost of stress. And in the long run, that lack of early independence did him no harm. He was able to do all those things, just not at the speed I needed them done

cerealqueen · 14/09/2012 21:53

Great tips here. We only make it just on time because of the buggy board (blessing on the way to pre-school, bane otherwise as DD1 won't walk anywhere now.)

And I'm not the only one who has sobbed after dropping off DD1 because the morning / school run had been so awful with me as shouty mum, or as DD calls it 'being serious'.

cerealqueen · 14/09/2012 21:55

And I only let DD1 watch any tv once she is ready, until then its the news which she hates so that is a bit of a spur too!

Megan74 · 15/09/2012 05:58

Clothes laid out the night before, including socks and underwear. Bags packed, coats and shoes by door. Leave plenty of time and have a routine. Get up, do not leave room until they are dressed, breakfast, teeth, hair and TV as a reward. TV off 10 minutes before leaving.

I get dressed first whlst Dh supervises them getting themselvs dressed (consists of shouting "get dressed" about 20 times at their door Grin).Then we swap to supervise breakfast.

Also, buy loads of uniform. There is always a drink spilt or someone appearing with a stain on their top.

Bonsoir · 15/09/2012 06:11

It's hard at first. I found waking her up late to breakfast in bed was good and I expected to help her dress on school days (not at the weekend).

nambypambysm · 15/09/2012 07:10

Tee hee shouty-mum-bashing always makes me chuckle Grin if you have a child who just gets ready in the morning with a little gentle coaxing then you are very lucky and in a teeny tiny majority. End.

PrincessScrumpy · 15/09/2012 10:44

I think my mornings are so busy (getting out the house by 8.10am with a 4yo and dtds who are 1) there simply isn't time for tantrums. dd would be picked up and dressed with force if she refused but it's such a whirlwind in the morning I don't think it occurs to her to argue.

Is she excited about school? Talk to her about the routine before hand and make a chart so she can check what she needs to do. Lay clothes out night before to make life easy for you and focus. If you have everything ready the night before, you can focus on her. Make a bit of a game.. can we get you dressed before the alarm goes off. Definitely think a sticker chart is the way to go.

Good luck, oh and relax, you don't want her to see your stress. :)